


Hold You Dear

by lastchildofkrypton



Series: Days of Plenty AU [2]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, There will be appearances from the Bellas as well, domestic bechloe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:21:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 42,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25814245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastchildofkrypton/pseuds/lastchildofkrypton
Summary: Beca and Chloe have gotten more of a handle on balancing work, their relationship, and raising Beca's little sister; at least they think they have. Add a wedding to plan, a new dog, and Beca's blossoming stardom and things are sure to get a little chaotic.Sequel to the story Days of Plenty
Relationships: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell
Series: Days of Plenty AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1872949
Comments: 176
Kudos: 244





	1. I want life to go on, I want days of plenty

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't wait to post this after all. I am so excited to continue this story - and even more excited that there is still interest from you guys! I hope you enjoy the first chapter. :)

“Lucy, I swear to God, if you don’t get that damn dog out of here…”

“He just wants to say hi to you.” Lucy says, through a giggle, lifting the dog up to Beca’s face.

Beca rolls her eyes but leans over and kisses him on the head, and adds a little scratch behind the ear for good measure. She feels her nervousness grow a little with every pound this dog gains. They had been warned he would be big, she just hadn’t realized that it would happen so soon. She had never even heard of the breed, Eurasier. He looks like a bear, his black fur sticking out in all directions. He’s still small enough that he sleeps most of the day, but she is dreading the time when he starts to run around.

“Alright, now both of you out, I need to get this done before dinner tonight.”

Since Christmas, things have settled; which only makes Beca worry more. It’s in the quietest moments that the worst things seem to happen. Those moments have come and blown their normalcy to pieces before they ever get a chance to catch their breath.

“Do we have to go?” Lucy asks, ignoring Beca’s request and climbing over her legs onto the bed, Finch, cuddling into her side.

“What do you mean? You like Fletcher, and we’re meeting Zara tonight.”

Lucy, despite all of the growth she’s experienced in the past six months, is still hesitant around new people. She’s still introverted and prefers to stay home rather than go out and do things; even with Lincoln and her new friends from the school band.

“And Chloe is really nervous, so we need to go and be there for her.”

Lucy sighs and rolls onto her back. She puts the puppy on her stomach and runs her fingers through his fur. It’s actually pretty amazing what this little guy has done for her. Even if Beca feels like a majority of the time she’s messing up the whole parenting thing, she can be sure getting the dog was one thing she did right.

“Fine, but can Finch come with us?”

Beca gives an exasperated look to her sister, over the top of her laptop. She’s been trying to get her work done for several hours but every time she gets back into it, another distraction pops up.

“No, he can’t come. He’ll be fine in his crate for a few hours.”

“But we have to go all the way to New Jersey.”

“How far do you think that is?”

Beca knows attachment will probably always be an issue for Lucy; how could it not be? But she also knows she needs to set boundaries with her. This puppy is a coping mechanism, not a crutch.

Chloe walks in and leans against the door frame; she had gone out, to get her nails done at the salon down the street. She asked Lucy to go with her but she just scrunched up her nose, shook her head, and said it smelled like chemicals and she didn’t want to.

“How’s that work going, Bec?”

Beca gives her a pleading look that, thankfully, Lucy doesn’t catch.

“Lou, let’s give Beca some time to work. We can bring Finch for a walk.”

Lucy hops up and goes to get the dog’s leash and a coat for herself.

* * *

They are nearing February now, but the air only seems to get colder every day; it’s the coldest winter that either Beca or Chloe can remember since moving to New York. Lucy walks, hand in hand, with Chloe down the street. Normally, the middle of the day on Saturday would be a busy time in their neighborhood, but there isn’t anyone out; save a few other people walking their dogs and the mailman, trudging through the slush with his overloaded bag. It’s too cold for anyone to be out that doesn’t have to be. They walk down the block to the bodega.

“Stay right here, I’m going to grab a bottle of wine for tonight.”

Lucy looks up at Chloe, but she’s met with a kind smile, as always, and a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“I’ll be right back. Two minutes.”

Lucy nods, and picks Finch up to cuddle him against her face. He gives her nose a little lick and she chuckles. She’s never seen anything as cute as her dog. She’s already fallen completely in love with him and hates that she has to leave him tonight. She keeps a tight grip on him as he wiggles against her chest. She uses her free hand to pull her coat tighter around her shoulders, fighting the strong breeze. Her hair blows into her face, causing some of it to go in her mouth. She shakes it away and bumps her chin against Finch’s head.

“Sorry buddy.” She says, quietly.

She looks around. It’s still quiet, but now there’s a guy walking toward her. She assumes he’s going to cross the street, but when he doesn’t, and continues straight toward her, she feels her cheeks get hot and her breath quicken. He is a couple steps away from her and she flinches, waiting for him to say something. Instead, he crosses his arms over his chest and continues his brisk pace down the street, turning the next corner. Once he’s out of sight she takes a full breath and hugs Finch tighter to her chest. She must not be able to get the fear stricken look off of her face fully before Chloe walks out of the store because she says,

“Alright, we’re all set. What’s the matter?”

Lucy shakes her head, “Nothing. I’m fine. Can we go home, I think Finch is getting tired.”

Chloe doesn’t push it, but she makes a note of the look, the strange reaction, and decides she’ll talk to Beca about it later. She falls in step with Lucy and they walk back home together.

Lucy wonders if she’ll ever get the feeling of fear out of her system. She wonders if she’ll ever be able to walk down the street by herself and not feel panic racing through her body, or if she’ll be able to see a stranger and not think about all of the dangerous things they’re capable of doing to her. She wonders if Beca feels the same way; she’s seen the paranoia in her. She knows Chloe feels it too, she can tell by the way she looks over both of their shoulders when they’re walking to and from school, she can feel it in the protective grip of her hand holding hers. She wonders if this is all because of Gardner or if he just sped up the process.

* * *

As soon as they are inside, Lucy is thankful to be home. Once she steps through the front door, she allows the scent of the lavender candle waft over her. Chloe has been on a mindfulness kick lately, making Lucy meditate with her, and partake in weekly yoga practices led by some guy on their television. Lucy doesn’t particularly care for it, but Chloe likes it so she does it anyway.

“Lou, go shower, we’re going to be leaving in about an hour.”

Lucy does as she’s told. Chloe waits to hear the shower running, to make sure Lucy doesn’t get distracted by the puppy. Again. Once she’s sure Lucy is getting ready, she walks into her own bedroom and grabs her towel. Beca is still in the exact same spot. She’s looking at her laptop, her brow is furrowed, eyes squinted just barely, and her lips pursed. She has put earbuds in, and Chloe can just barely hear the music coming from them. She always plays her music way too loud; no matter how many times Chloe tells her not to.

Chloe pulls her sweater over her head and slips her jeans down. She looks over her shoulder and gives a soft chuckle when she notices Beca now looking up at her, instead of down at the screen. Beca’s eyes flit back down at the screen, but she closes her laptop and crawls to the end of the bed, tossing her earbuds aside and reaching her arms out for Chloe. She walks into them.

“How are you feeling about tonight?” Beca asks, kissing Chloe’s bare shoulder.

She can feel the shiver run down Chloe’s spine. Her lips are met with goosebumps. She kisses the same spot again. Satisfied when she gets the same reaction.

“I think I’m okay. I’m excited to meet this girl. Now that we all know about her, she’s all Fletch talks about.”

“That’s a good sign, right?”

Chloe nods, sending her hair into Beca’s face. Beca snakes her arms around Chloe’s waist and her fingertips tickle the small of her back.

“He’s excited,” Chloe says, “and I’m trying to be excited for him.”

“I know you are.”

Chloe never told Beca about the conversation she had with her brother when they were back in Georgia. She hadn’t been able to. She realizes there are a lot of things she needs to work on, but there hasn’t been time. At least that’s what she keeps telling herself.

Beca kisses her neck, down to her collar bone. Chloe reaches down and pulls Beca’s face back up to hers and gives her another chaste kiss.

“We don’t have time for this. I have to shower.”

“We are very good at multitasking.”

Something about the tone in Beca’s voice, mixed with the look in her eyes, makes Chloe’s stomach flip. They haven’t had much time for themselves lately; between Beca’s work schedule, and taking care of Lucy, and now the new puppy, it’s been chaotic to say the least. Chloe giggles and pulls on Beca’s hand, leading her to the shower.

“We have to be quick.” Chloe says, stripping off the last of her clothes and stepping under the spray of the warm water.

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.” Beca says, with her usual snark.

“And quiet.”

“Uh, that one may be a problem.”

When Chloe looks back up at her she’s still smiling, that cocky smirk that makes Chloe go wild. She watches Beca kick off her pants and join her. She wraps her arms around Beca’s shoulders, steadying herself. before pulling her into a deep kiss.

“God, I love you.”

“I love you so much.” Chloe says back, letting Beca kiss a trail down her body.

She throws her head back. She’s pretty sure they’re going to be late for dinner.

* * *

“What took you guys so long?” Lucy asks, from her spot on the couch.

Beca and Chloe both walk out into the room, after their shower. They’re finally fully dressed and ready to go. Lucy looks adorable, in her new clothes from Christmas; clothes that actually fit her for the first time in months. She’s pulled her hair into an intricate braid; one she must have learned from Beca. She looks awake and alert, and like a normal kid. Chloe feels guilty for the thought, but it’s one that’s nearly impossible not to have; not when she’s seen the alternative.

“Jeez, Father Time, calm down.” Beca bites back, which makes Lucy laugh.

“Why don’t you go put Finch in his crate. We need to get going.” Chloe says.

Lucy hesitates before standing from the couch, cradling him in her arms. She kisses his head, and they can both feel how much she doesn’t want to do it. She drags her feet down the hall, and into her bedroom. She puts him in his kennel and kneels down in front of it.

“I’ll be back, buddy. I love you. I won’t be gone long, I promise.”

She stands and watches him walk in two full circles before curling up on his bed. She turns the small light on in the corner before shutting the big light off and closing the door. She takes a deep breath, and fixes her shoulders before walking back down the hallway.

“You ready, Lou?”

“Mhm.”

“He’ll be okay.”

“I know.” She says, not fully convinced, but she can’t be with him every second of every day.

It’s the first time he’ll be home alone, for any extended period of time, and she does her best to force the thought from her mind.

“But what if someone breaks in or there’s a fire?”

Beca sighs, not loud enough for Lucy to notice, but Chloe picks up on it. She places both of her hands on Lucy’s cheeks. She looks directly into her eyes and says,

“He will be okay. I promise you.”

She pulls her into a hug and Lucy squeezes her tight. Beca can’t help but be a little envious of the patience Chloe always has with Lucy. It’s the maternal streak in her that allows her to be so understanding; it’s the same thing she always saw when Chloe would deal with an inane problem the Bellas were having, or the care she put into her work when she was still in vet school. She supposes she should just push the jealousy aside and be grateful for her ability to deal with both her and Lucy at the same time; but it’s harder than she’d like to admit.

“We won’t be gone that long right?”

“Right.”

“Okay.”

Lucy reaches out and takes Beca’s hand. Beca leans over and kisses her head. To a lot of people, it wouldn’t seem like much, but they’ll take the little victories where they can get them.

* * *

“Hey, you guys made it.” Fletcher calls, from his front porch as soon as they’re out of the car.

“Barely, dude this is the middle of nowhere.” Beca says.

Fletcher laughs and wraps Chloe in a hug.

“Beca, be nice.” She says, from her spot in her brother’s arms.

“It’s fine, you’re right, it’s definitely not Manhattan. I’m just honestly surprised that the first thing out of your mouth wasn’t a joke about it smelling like garbage.”

“Well, now that you mention it.” Beca says, allowing him to wrap her in his arms next. “It’s good to see you, Fletcher.”

“You too.” He looks around Beca and smiles at Lucy, “Hey Lucy.”

She gives a little wave and leans into Chloe’s side.

“Come on in. It’s freezing.”

They follow him into the house. It’s small but cozy. The outside isn’t much to look at but Fletcher has already told Chloe he has plans to do some work on it as soon as the weather permits. As they step through the front door, they all huddle in the small entryway, in front of the staircase. There is a hallway next to them that leads to the rest of the house. They’ve only just moved in, two weeks ago, but it seems like they’ve been able to get a lot of decorating and unpacking done.

“Wow, it looks nice.” Chloe says, sounding genuinely pleased.

“Thanks.” Fletcher’s smile is bigger than Chloe has ever seen, “Hey Z, they’re here.” He calls out down the hallway.

A beautiful woman walks into the hallway. Chloe has seen a couple pictures of her, since Georgia, but none of them have done her justice. She has long dark brown hair that matches her eyes, she’s tall, taller than Chloe, and her smile matches Fletcher’s in a way that is utterly complementary and kind. She has one hand on her stomach, that is now protruding just slightly, well into her fourth month of pregnancy.

“Hi, it’s so nice to meet you all.”

“You too.” Chloe says.

It’s awkward for just a moment. They aren’t sure if they should hug or shake hands or what they should do. Chloe decides she needs to do something, so she moves in to give her a quick hug. Beca hangs back, wrapping one arm around Lucy’s shoulders.

“Please, come in,” Zara says, “Fletch, why don’t you take their jackets.”

“Oh yeah.”

Beca watches them, she can’t believe they’re only twenty-four. It’s only three years younger than she is, but it still seems like a lifetime.

“So Fletcher, when do you start the new job?”

“Two weeks.” He says, taking a sip of his beer. “It’s pretty scary, but I think it’ll be good.”

“Of course it will.” Zara says, taking a pan from the oven.

“That smells amazing.” Beca says.

Zara smiles, “Thank you. It’s an old family recipe. I hope you guys are hungry, I made way too much.”

“Told you, babe.”

“Thank you, Fletch, that’s super helpful.” Zara says, with her back turned, but there is a giggle just underneath her words which makes Fletcher laugh.

Zara plates the food, declining offers from both Beca and Chloe to help. When she puts a plate down in front of Lucy, it is nearly overflowing with food. Beca puts her hand on her lower back and taps her knee with her other hand to make her look up. Eating, especially in front of new people, in new situations, is still a cause of stress and discomfort for Lucy. She seems to understand what Beca’s eyes are trying to tell her. She gives one, curt, nod, before picking up her fork and taking a small bite.

The conversation is easy and light throughout dinner. They talk about work and baby names and sports, well Fletcher does, and the rest listen with a practiced patience. They can all feel the nervous energy coming from him so they let him go on for a little longer than they probably would otherwise.

“Zara, that seriously was so good.” Beca says, getting up to clear the table. “No offense, baby, but I think we may have a new best cook in the family.”

Chloe lifts her hands in surrender, “I am more than ready to pass that torch. Next year, we’re doing Thanksgiving here.” She jokes.

“We’d be more than happy to do that. I’ve been cooking Thanksgiving dinner since I can remember. The holiday is not a reason to celebrate in my family, but the food always is.” Zara says.

“Are you close with your family?” Chloe asks.

There’s a quiet that settles over the room. Chloe feels like she said something wrong, but Zara smiles again; this time it’s much different. It’s sadder.

“I was raised by my mom, but she passed away about eight years ago.”

There’s another bout of silence until Lucy says, quietly, like she shouldn’t say it at all.

“Mine died too.”

It’s one of the first things she’s said since they’ve gotten here. Beca grips her own knee and squeezes. She doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t know what kind of physical reaction she should have to this; hearing her sister share this part of her life more openly than she ever has before. She supposes it’s a good thing, a positive change, but she wishes she didn’t have to witness it. It makes her dizzy and it makes her eye twitch.

“I know, Fletcher told me that.” Zara admits, she is sitting across from Lucy at the table.

Her eyes flit over to Beca for just a second, so she can say this next part to both of them.

“I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” Lucy says.

Chloe watches Lucy make this connection with a nearly perfect stranger and it makes her feel a little better. It reminds her that Lucy can, and should, feel like she’s not alone. Fletcher never told Chloe about Zara’s parents and she feels horrible. But now that she knows, she can see the same thing in her eyes that she so often sees in Lucy’s: helplessness.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” Chloe says.

Suddenly being on the other side of this situation has left her feeling at a loss for words. She tries to remember what made Lucy feel better, and what grated on Beca’s nerves, while they were first going through this whole situation; what still helps and hurts, but she can’t remember a single thing.

“How could you have?” Zara says, “It still hurts, but I’m far enough from it now that I can talk about it.” She says.

Beca watches Lucy’s eyes look up, but not quite at Zara’s eyes; they settle somewhere near her shoulder.

“But I am close with the rest of my family. I lived with my aunt and uncle after my mom’s passing and my cousins became like my brothers and sisters. They were still very little when I went to live there, but we’re very close now.”

“You liked living with them?” Lucy asks.

She thinks about all of the books and movies she’s seen where someone’s parents die and they are sent off to live with an evil aunt or left alone with a spiteful step-parent. She assumes those must be based in some kind of truth. She’s thankful that wasn’t her experience, and she hopes it wasn’t Zara’s either.

“Very much. If I can’t have my mom, my aunt and uncle are a very close second. I don’t think many people understand that.”

“I do.” Lucy says, quickly, looking over at Beca and Chloe.

Zara gives a knowing smile and nod before looking over at them as well. Beca bites her lower lip and looks down and Chloe looks like she could fall into a fit of tears at any moment.

“It’s a remarkable thing you two have done.” Zara says.

There is something about her voice that feels like they’ve known her forever, a sense of familiarity and comfort there. Chloe is thankful that her niece or nephew will grow up knowing that voice.

“It was the best decision of my life.” Beca says, truthfully.

“It’s kind of crazy,” Fletcher starts, “that we’ve all found each other, isn’t it?”

Zara reaches over and takes his hand in her own. They sit in that thought. If you had asked Beca what she thought they were going to talk about tonight at dinner, she would have probably said work, or what they’ve been watching on TV, or Lucy’s school. She never would have guessed all of this. But Fletcher’s right. It’s crazy, on so many levels, that they’ve all managed to find each other, and keep each other. Through a series of life’s biggest misfortunes, they’ve all come out the other side somehow very lucky.

* * *

They don’t account for the amount of traffic heading into the city on a Saturday night. Beca tightens and loosens her grip on the steering wheel repeatedly while they wait to get into the Lincoln tunnel. Chloe puts her hand on Beca’s thigh and looks behind her into the backseat. Lucy is sound asleep. They both knew it wouldn’t take long.

“She seems great.” Beca says, pulling Chloe’s attention away from Lucy’s sleeping face.

“What? Oh yeah, she really does. Thank God, sometimes with Fletcher I question his judgment of character, but they seem to fit.”

“And who are we kidding, that baby is going to be gorgeous.” Beca adds.

Chloe giggles, it’s breathy and light, but real. Beca glances over, not wanting to take her eyes off the road for too long but she needs to look into Chloe’s eyes; she’s suddenly overtaken by the admiration she feels for her. She’s never known anyone so selfless and outwardly kind.

“What’s that look for?”

“Nothing.” Beca says, quickly, before turning back to look at the road and hide her blush.

She knows the entire world is well aware of how soft Chloe Beale has made her; no one knows it better than Chloe herself. Yet, she still finds herself getting embarrassed in moments like these. She would shout her love from the rooftops, if it ever came to that. But somehow the quiet moments, the ones that catch her by surprise, are the ones that make her squirmy, and awkward, and sputtering. They make her feel like she’s a freshman at Barden all over again.

“Hey.” Chloe says, softly, almost a whisper.

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

She’s fought, tooth and nail, to keep her family together, and happy, and safe. And if she’s being honest there are days where it feels like that fight will never end, like they’ll never get their happy ending. But then there are days like today, where it’s not so heavy, and things are quiet, and she’s reminded what all the fighting is for. She rests and reevaluates, and arms herself to fight another day for the two people she loves more than anything in the entire world.


	2. All the pieces fall in line, I'm forever on your side

“Hey Scout, we’re home.” Beca says, opening her door, causing the overhead light to come on.

  
  


Lucy lets out a little groan and blinks her eyes open. As soon as she realizes where they are, she unbuckles and rushes out of the parking garage. Beca and Chloe exchange amused glances while they ride the elevator up to their apartment. Lucy takes the keys from Beca. She can’t get the door open fast enough.

  
  


Her sneakers scuff on the marble floor, but she continues down the hall, into her bedroom, ignoring her sister’s request for her to take her wet shoes off.

  
  


“Hi Finch, I’m home, buddy.” She says, quietly, kneeling down next to the crate.

  
  


He is sound asleep on his bed, just where she left him. There’s less water in his bowl than there was before she left, so she knows he has been awake, at least once. She opens the door and rouses him. He lets out a little yelp and crawls onto her lap. Her fingers brush through his fur as she lets out a relieved sigh.

  
  


“I told you he’d be okay.” Beca says, arms crossed over her chest.

  
  


Lucy looks over her shoulder, unamused. She picks up the puppy and kisses his head.

  
  


“Let’s take him out quick, okay? I have more work I have to do, and you need to get to bed.”

  
  


Beca hadn’t thought about the fact that Lucy having to take the dog out, meant that someone had to take Lucy out… she really wishes she had thought about that. She pulls her coat tighter around her shoulders and bounces on the balls of her feet. The wind has been relentless the past few days and she already knows that one, if not all three of them, are going to get sick again. She’s falling down the usual rabbithole of worry when Lucy interrupts.

  
  


“Beca?”

“Hm?”

“Does Chloe not want Fletcher to have a baby?”

“What are you talking about?”

  
  


Lucy picks the puppy up as they walk back toward their building. She’s wanted to ask this question since Chloe’s impromptu trip to Georgia, but she hasn’t been able to work up enough nerve to actually do it. She figures, now, with Chloe not around, is probably her best bet.

  
  


“I don’t know. She’s been different since she went to see her parents.”

“What do you mean, different?”

“I don’t know, sadder, I guess. But like she’s trying really hard not to be. And that’s what that trip was about, wasn’t it?”

  
  


They walk through the main entrance of their building. Beca pulls Lucy over to two of the lounge chairs in the corner. She knows they can’t go back upstairs having this conversation, and now that she’s asked, there’s no way Lucy is dropping the subject.

  
  


“It’s complicated.”

“Why?”

  
  


Every time Beca thinks she has a handle on how to talk to Lucy, she is thrown into a conversation that leaves her scrambling. She doesn’t know how to explain the depths of this situation to Lucy in a way that is both satisfying to her curiosity, and age appropriate; although if she’s being honest, her sister is probably more emotionally mature than she is.

  
  


“Is she jealous?” Lucy asks, when Beca takes too long to answer.

“I think a little bit, yeah. This year has been hard on all of us, that means Chloe too.”

  
  


Lucy looks down at Finch in her lap. She hadn’t really thought about it that way. Chloe has been there for them through every second of the last six months, except for that one week that they don’t talk about.

  
  


“She’s lived through it all too. She’s had to watch while two of the people she loves have gone through the deepest pain they’ve ever felt. And no matter how much she’s helped us, I think there is always a part of her that feels like she could do more.”

“That’s crazy.”

“No, that’s just Chloe. She wants to be everything for everyone.”

Lucy scrunches up her nose, “But what does that have to do with Fletcher’s baby?”

“Chloe wants to have a baby too.”

“Oh.”

“She’s finally figured out something that she wants for herself.” She adds the last part like an afterthought before continuing, “She has something that she wants really really badly, and I think she feels a little guilty about that. And there’s also the fact that we can’t have kids as easily as other couples, and the wedding needs to happen first.”

  
  


Lucy hadn’t ever thought that Beca and Chloe would have babies. She doesn’t know why the idea has never crossed her mind. It makes sense, even if the thought of it makes her own stomach feel weird.

  
  


“Like I said, it’s complicated, and there’s not much we can do about it tonight.”

“You want to have a baby too?”

  
  


Beca nods, it’s slow but sure. Lucy copies her, unsure of what her reaction should be.

  
  


“Don’t say anything about this to Chloe, okay? She’s working through it, in her own time. We need to be respectful of that and let her come to us if she wants.”

“Okay.”

  
  


Beca puts a hand on Lucy’s shoulder and guides her over to the elevator. The ride up is quiet, other than slight panting from Finch.

Lucy puts him down as soon as they’re inside. She walks over to Chloe, who is sitting on the couch watching the news.

  
  


“Hi,” Chloe says, a little startled when Lucy basically climbs on top of her, she snakes her arms around her waist and gives her a tight hug, “oh my gosh, you’re freezing.”

  
  


Lucy doesn’t laugh, or let go, or look up at her face. She suddenly feels protective of Chloe; she’s never felt that way before.

  
  


“What’s this for?”

Lucy shrugs, but keeps her spot, “I love you.”

  
  


Chloe looks up at Beca, for an answer or an explanation, but she’s just met with an amused smirk and a shrug. Chloe squeezes Lucy back and rests her cheek on top of Lucy’s hair.

  
  


“Thank you, sweet girl. I love you too.”

* * *

“Hey Peach,” Lincoln greets her as she walks into their biology class on Monday morning, “how was your weekend?”

“It was good. Yours?”

“It was alright. My mom was gone at a conference so I had the place to myself.”

“You were home alone all weekend?” Lucy asks, her eyes widen at the very idea. “Weren’t you scared?”

“Nah, I do it all the time. She’ll be back tomorrow.”

She adds the last part with a shrug, as if it makes it any more normal.

“When did she leave?”

“Thursday morning. It’s really not a big deal.”

The more Lucy gets to know Lincoln, the better she is able to read her. That’s why she can tell so obviously now that she’s sad.

“Do you want to come over to my house after school today?”

It’s abrupt, and Lucy knows there was probably a better way to change the subject, but Lincoln smiles anyway.

  
“You don’t have band practice?”

“Not today. We can do our homework and maybe watch a movie.”

“Beca and Chloe won’t care?”

“Are you kidding? They like you more than they like me. Besides, they’re so busy planning their wedding they’re pretty much letting me do whatever I want.”

Lincoln gives a smirk and her eyes lighten, just a little, as she nods.

“Okay, sounds good.”

* * *

“Hey Beca, you got a second?” Matt asks, peeking his head around the door.  
“Sure, what’s up?”

Beca puts her headphones down around her neck and sits up a little straighter in her chair.

“So, I wanted to talk to you about new music.”

She smirks, “Isn’t that like all we talk about?”

“I mean new music from you.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Bec, you’ve been doing amazing stuff on the production side of things. But I fear that we’re losing public interest in you as a name. We’re going to need to fast track an EP.”

“Fast track, by how much?”

“Summer.”

If she could see her own face, she feels like her eyes would be bulging out of her head like a cartoon character.

“Summer? This summer? That’s fast.”

“I know.”

“My first album just came out and I haven’t even-”

“I know. And I wouldn’t normally put pressure on an artist so soon, you know that. But with your lack of tour dates, and with cutting the press tour short, there are just a lot of factors to consider.”

“Uh yeah, yeah, you’re right.”

“Four songs. Maybe five. I’m not looking for anything nearly as demanding as Days of Plenty, that was your baby, and I get that. I just need something of quality. A little taste to tide people over.”

“To keep making money.” Beca supplies.

“That’s not the main focus but we also need to be smart. I know this year has been…” He doesn’t finish the sentence, Beca decides it’s probably because he doesn’t know, at all, what this year has been like for her.

“Yeah, I got it. Thanks for the heads up.”

He slaps his hands down on his knees before pushing himself up out of the chair.

“Alright, start thinking on it. We’ll have a meeting early next week to talk about next steps and listen to what you’ve got so far.”

Once he’s gone, Beca rests her head against her desk. Whatever calm she thought was entering her life, is once again blown to pieces.

* * *

“Hi sweet girl.” Chloe greets Lucy outside of the school.

“Hi, can Lincoln come over?”

The thought that Lucy waited until they were both standing in front of her to ask, doesn’t go unnoticed. She knows that the older Lucy gets, the smarter she’ll get, and soon they’ll be in a lot of trouble; as soon as she realizes she can use her intelligence to get away with a lot worse than getting Chloe to agree to a friend coming over.

“Yeah, of course, does your mom know where you’ll be?”

Lucy thinks to herself that her mom probably doesn’t care one way or the other. She turns to Lincoln who is already giving her a warning look.

“I’ll text her.”

Chloe nods and starts walking. Lucy and Lincoln lag behind her, talking quietly. Every once in a while she can hear a giggle or a scoff and it makes her smile.

* * *

Beca walks through the front door and drops her bags on the small bench, with a dramatic flourish. Chloe looks up from her spot at the stove and smiles.

“Quite the entrance, Bec.”

“Thank you.” Beca says, moving over to wrap her arms around Chloe’s waist. She kisses just below her ear and says, “How was your day?”

“Good, I think I found a photographer for the wedding.”

“Really, already?"

“Mhm, her portfolio is on the table for you to take a look at.”

“Damn lady, you work fast.”

“I don’t have a lot of time to work with if we want to stick to the date we talked about. I have to work fast.”

“Six months is plenty of time, what are you talking about?”

Beca walks over, grabs a beer from the refrigerator and hops up to sit on the counter.

“That’s nothing. You’ve never planned a wedding before, you wouldn’t know.”

“You’ve never planned a wedding either. Unless there was a secret marriage in there somewhere that you forgot to mention.”

Chloe snaps her fingers, “I knew there was something I was supposed to tell you.”

“Funny girl.”

“How was work?”

Chloe puts the large spoon, that she’s been using to stir, down and leans back against the counter.

“It was good. Matt’s already on me about new music. He wants to plan on releasing an EP this summer.”

“That soon?”

“He’s worried that without the momentum of a proper press tour, and without live performances, that my name recognition is going to tank. I get where he’s coming from, it’s just, all of this couldn’t have come at a worse time, you know?”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s true. I wish I could have started at the label like a year earlier than I did.”

“Yeah, it would have made everything a lot easier. But that’s not the way things worked out. So we just have to find a way to balance it all.”

“That’s a lot easier said than done.”

Chloe’s gentle smile stays on her face, but her eyes take their time observing each of Beca’s features. She looks tired, but not overly stressed, which is a rarity these days. She knows the coming months don’t leave much opportunity for relaxation, she just hopes that the chaos that fills them is happy chaos.

“I noticed an extra pair of shoes by the door, I take it Lincoln is here.”

“Mhm, they’re doing their homework.”

“Sure they are.”

“Can you go tell them dinner is ready?”

Beca hops down from her spot and walks toward Lucy’s room. From outside the door, she can hear giggling. Lucy’s laugh is on her list of top ten favorite sounds; it ranks up there along with the way Chloe says her name, the guitar riff from The Smiths’ This Charming Man, The Bellas’ voices when they hit a perfect harmony, and the echoes on the city streets late at night. Lucy’s laugh is bright, and bubbly, and she’s incredibly thankful she’s been hearing more and more of it lately. She knocks on the door, but doesn’t wait for an answer before pushing it open.

“Hi Beca.” Lincoln greets her first.

Lucy and Lincoln are sitting against the wall on Lucy’s bed. Lucy has her laptop open on her legs. They are laughing at a video. Beca can see the reflection of a Youtube page in the lenses of Lucy’s reading glasses.

“Hi guys.”

“Hey Bec.”

“How’s the homework going?”

“Oh, we finished that like half an hour ago.”

“So, what are you doing now?”

“Nothing.” Lucy says.

When it’s clear she’s not going to say anything else Beca clicks her tongue and says,

“Alright then, good talk. Dinner is ready.”

“Okay, we’ll be there in a second.”

Beca walks back out of the room. She is beyond happy that Lucy has found a stable friend in Lincoln. But she isn’t so sure she’s happy about there being another avenue of her sister’s life where she isn’t aware of everything that’s happening; another place where she can’t protect her. She wants to know it all, but she doesn’t want to be the nosy, overbearing parent, like so many of her friend’s had when she was growing up. She sighs and goes to set the table.

* * *

“I should probably get home.” Lincoln says.

It’s been nearly an hour since they finished dinner and Lucy hadn’t even thought about Lincoln leaving.

  
  
“You’re going home?”

“Uh, yeah, that’s where I live.”

Lucy stands up and steps in front of the door, blocking her way out.

“You should just stay here.”

“What?”

“I mean, it beats going home to an empty house and having to be all by yourself, right?”

Lincoln seems to think it over. She shrugs and says,

“I’m sure it won’t be a problem. I’ll ask my sister.”

“I should probably just go home.”

Lucy squints, just slightly, confused by Lincoln’s hesitation. They have become pretty close recently and she doesn’t see why there would be an issue. She is also a little confused about why she is so determined to get Lincoln to stay. Lincoln has been living this way longer than they’ve known each other, she doesn’t need Lucy to protect her. But now that Lucy is around, she doesn’t want her to be alone anymore.

Lincoln moves around Lucy and walks down the hallway to find her shoes. It’s been dark for hours at this point and Lucy knows Beca and Chloe won’t let her walk home alone.

“You ready to go, kid?” Beca asks, from her spot at the kitchen counter.

“Uh, yeah, I’m good.”

Lucy’s heartbeat quickens, she knows she has to make a decision, quick, about what she’s going to do. Before she can fully think it through she blurts out,

“Lincoln’s mom isn’t home.”

“What?” Beca asks, only half paying attention, while putting on her own shoes.

“Lucy.” Lincoln says, through gritted teeth.

“Her mom is on a work trip. She isn’t home.”

“Is that true?” Beca asks, now standing up straight, and looking between the two girls.

“Uh yeah, she’s gone until tomorrow.”

Beca puts her hands on her hips and shakes her head, slowly. She looks around, probably waiting for Chloe to jump into the conversation but she’s been MIA for the last hour.

“Why didn’t you tell us that?”

Lincoln shrugs, “I don’t know. I didn’t want to get in trouble.”

“You’re not in trouble.” Beca reassures her, “But you know I can’t let you go home either. You can sleep in the guest room, or Lucy’s room, tonight. Wherever you’re most comfortable.”

Lincoln doesn’t make eye contact with Beca but she nods so she knows that she heard her.

“And Lincoln,” Beca waits until she looks up at her, “next time your mom is out of town just tell us. You’re always welcome here.”

“Thank you.”

Lincoln walks quickly out of the room, and back into Lucy’s bedroom. Lucy looks at Beca who is already looking back at her. She has her arms crossed over her chest, leaning against the wall, now.

“She’s mad at me now.”

“You did the right thing. You just maybe could have done it a little differently.”

“Yeah, I know. I was just worried about her.”

“I know you were.”

Lucy trudges down the hall, just like Lincoln did, but she doesn’t go into her bedroom, instead she goes to Beca and Chloe’s. Beca waits to see what she’s doing. She reemerges a moment later, with sweatpants, knowing hers would be too short for Lincoln’s legs. She gives Beca one more look before closing her own bedroom door behind her.

“Here.” She says, placing them on the bed.

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“Look, next time if you’d really rather stay home alone than be here with me, that’s fine. I won’t say anything again. I’m sorry.”

Lucy feels herself beginning to get upset, although she doesn’t know why; not really.

“It’s not that. I just-”

“What is it then?”

Lincoln falls silent again. She bites down and peels a sizable piece of skin off of her bottom lip. She runs her socked foot over the carpet to give herself something to focus on. When she looks back up into Lucy’s eyes, they look similar to the night that she told Lucy about her dad.

“I’m just not used to people caring enough about me to do stuff like that.”

“Well,” Lucy hovers over a few different sentences, unsure what the right one is, but she decides on, “get used to it.”

* * *

“Everything okay?” Chloe asks, from her spot on the bed, when Beca walks into the room a little while later. “Lucy came in, stole some of my sweatpants and left.”

“They’re for Lincoln. I guess she’s been home alone, her mom is on a work trip.”

“For how long?”

“I don’t know. She definitely didn’t want Lucy to tell me though.”

“She’s only thirteen and she was going to be alone overnight? That’s…”

“Crazy. I know.” Beca runs her hand up and down Chloe’s thigh, “But she’s here for the night, safe and sound, if only a little miffed.”

“Why wouldn’t she want Lucy to tell us that?”

Beca sighs, “She said she didn’t want to get in trouble.”

“Meaning she didn’t want to get her mom in trouble.”

“Bingo. Have you met her mom?”

“Once.” Chloe says, but squints as she thinks harder about it. “I think. I’m not sure actually.”

Beca looks into Chloe’s eyes. She’s met with the same loving gaze as always, but right now it’s cloaked in worry, and sleepiness.

“I think there is much more to that kid than we know.”

“Does that make you nervous? Like what happened with Poppy might happen again?”

“No.” Beca says, shaking her head.

“You sound pretty confident about that.”

“I’ve seen the way she looks at Lucy. I don’t think we have anything to worry about.”

Chloe smirks and lays her head back against her pillow.

“Wait, so you think she might-”

“No, no, no,” Beca interrupts her, “we’re not talking about that. They’re babies.”

“They’re twelve and thirteen, I think it’s right around the time that we need to start talking about that.”

Beca flops down lower on the bed, she looks over at Chloe, with a pout on her lips.

“She’s getting too old too fast. I don’t like it.”

“I know.” Chloe agrees, “But, seriously, do you think they like each other?”

“I have no clue. Even if they do, I don’t think anything will happen. God, imagine Lucy dating one day, she’s so little and tiny and awkward.”

“Wonder where she gets that from.”

Beca laughs, “Hey now, watch yourself. I landed you, didn’t I?”

“Mhm.”

Chloe crawls over her and kisses her lips. Like always, she’s soft and smells good. It makes Beca’s heart flutter. Chloe rests her head on her chest. Beca can only vaguely remember the time where this felt out of the ordinary; it’s a distant and foreign memory. She wouldn’t ever want to go back to it, but she also hopes she never manages to forget those last little bits of it.

“Chlo?”

“Yeah?”

“I can’t wait to be married to you.”

Chloe laughs inaudibly, but Beca can feel the gentle quake of her rib cage against her and she knows she’s smiling. She runs her finger tips over her back gently, while she waits to fall asleep. She hopes, one day, in the very very very distant future, that Lucy finds this. She just doesn’t want to see too much of it, or hear any of the details. But yeah, she definitely wants Lucy to have this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang: www.lastchildofkrypton.tumblr.com


	3. It's hard to be human and hard to grow up, I just keep trying, and keep messing up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting another chapter because why the heck not?

Lucy has decided to give Lincoln her bed, so she is curled up on her side in the big bed in the guest room. She regrets wearing short sleeves to sleep, now she’s cold, but she doesn’t want to go back into her room and risk waking Lincoln up. She knows she’s not happy with what she did tonight, but she panicked.

Her brain circles around, and around, why she feels so responsible for Lincoln. It’s way too late. She should have been asleep hours ago, but her brain hasn’t been able to turn off. Her eyes are just starting to drift closed when they shoot open at the sound of the door creaking. In the shadowy glow from the moon, coming through the large window, she can see Lincoln peek her head around. Her eyes are barely open, like she’s just woken up but, when she speaks, her voice still sounds like it does in the middle of the afternoon.

“Peach, you awake?”

“Mhm, what’s wrong?”

Lucy pushes herself to sit up, crossing her arms across her body to try and keep warm. Lincoln reminds her of what she must look like when she walks into Beca and Chloe’s room in the middle of the night.

“I, uh, I can’t sleep.”

Lucy pulls the blankets back and Lincoln pauses, for just a moment, before walking over and climbing into the bed. It’s a large enough mattress that there could be nearly a foot between them, but Lincoln adjusts so that theeir elbows are touching.

“That happens to me all the time.”

“I don’t really love sleeping places that aren’t my own bed.” Lincoln admits.

“Me either. That’s why I’ve never been to a sleepover.” Lucy’s eyes widen at the sudden admission.

Lincoln doesn’t react, other than a slow, understanding, nod. She lays back against the pillows and Lucy does the same. It’s strange how everything feels so different in the dark. In this new space, in this new situation, Lucy feels almost like she doesn’t know Lincoln at all. She rolls onto her side, and Lincoln does the same, resting her cheek in the palm of her hand.

“This is kind of weird, isn’t it?”

“What is?” Lucy asks, not wanting to say the wrong thing.

“Me being here.”

“I wouldn’t have said anything if I thought it would be weird for you to be here.”

“Not thinking it will be weird, and realizing it’s weird when it’s too late, are two different things.”

Lucy scoffs and puts a hand over her mouth. She doesn’t want to be too loud and risk Beca or Chloe coming in and getting angry.

“Thinking it’s weird when it’s not, and saying it’s weird which then makes it weird, are two different things too.”

“Fair, I guess.”

“We’re friends. This shouldn’t be weird.”

“Yeah,” Lincoln says, wistfully, “you’re right.”

She rolls onto her back and clasps her hands over her stomach. Lucy does the same, suddenly very aware of how much space she is taking up, how heavily she’s breathing, and where all of her limbs are. She crosses her legs over each other and scoots, just barely, toward the side of the bed.

“Hey Lucy?”

“Mhm?”

Lincoln’s voice barely registers, as sleep finally starts to take Lucy.

“I’m glad I’m here.”

“Me too.”

* * *

“I wish they didn’t have school,” Chloe says, walking into the kitchen where Beca is making coffee.

“Did you wake them up?”

“No. I know I was supposed to. They just look so cute. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”

Beca gives her an incredulous look and purses her lips.

“You’re ridiculous.”

Down the hall, she pushes the, already half open, bedroom door fully open. She leans against the door frame for a minute, watching the girls sleep. There was a time where Beca was convinced she would never see Lucy this comfortable with anyone, other than her and Chloe. She’s never really seen her interact with anyone her own age, until now, and as much as she wishes it wasn’t, it’s strange.

She walks over to the side of the bed that Lucy is on. She is sprawled across half of the bed; one arm is over her head, the other hanging off the side of the mattress. Her legs are tangled in the sheets. She looks completely content. Beca brushes her hair out of her face and leans down to whisper in her ear.

“Scout, it’s morning.”

Lucy lets out a little grunt and takes a deep inhale through her nose before she opens her eyes. Instantly, they are locked on Beca’s, making her smile.

“Hey kid.”

“Hi.” Her voice is raspy, gravelly, filled with sleep.

“Your first sleepover was a success, huh?”

Lucy sits up and shrugs one shoulder. She leans forward and lets her forehead rest on Beca’s shoulder, while Beca rubs circles on her back. She’s still warm from being under the covers and her breath is even and easy.

“I’m gonna let you wake Lincoln up. It’s time for breakfast.”

“Okay.”

Beca gives her one more kiss to her head before leaving the room. Once she’s back in the kitchen, Chloe says,

“Was I right, or what?”

“They looked pretty damn cute. You were right.”

“If they heard us say that, they would kill us.”

“Definitely.” Beca agrees.

She picks up her still steaming mug of coffee. She takes a seat at the table. Chloe comes over and leans over her, wrapping her arms around her neck. She kisses her cheek before Beca turns to look at her, the best she can in this position.

“This is the first day since my first week that I’m actually nervous to go to work.”

It’s a big confession; Chloe can tell by the way her voice strains just slightly with each word.

“Why are you nervous?”

“There are expectations again. Like, big ones.”

Chloe takes the seat next to her, keeping one of Beca’s hands in one of her own.

“With the first record, no one even really knew it was happening, so it wasn’t all that stressful. It felt like my own little secret. It just kind of flowed out of me, there were so many thoughts and feelings and it seemed like the only place I could put them, but now…”

“What?”

“We’re in a good place. I’m happy. And I’m afraid that,” She stops and takes a breath, unsure if what she’s about to say will be taken the wrong way, “I’m afraid that without the worry and the hurt, that I won’t have anything meaningful to say.”

“Beca, that’s insane.”

“Is it?”

“A little, yeah.” Chloe lifts their hands up and kisses Beca’s knuckles. “You were writing music long before what happened with your parents.”

“Music that no one ever heard, or cared about.”

“I did.”

Beca stops. She looks into Chloe’s eyes and realizes what she’s said.

“No, I know.”

Chloe reaches over and places her hand on Beca’s cheek, to ensure that she doesn’t lose eye contact.

“One of these days, Beca Mitchell, you are going to realize that you are worthy of what you have.”

Beca lets out a shuddery breath. She does her best to cover it with a laugh but it doesn’t work. Chloe leans over and kisses her.

“Ew, children in the room.” Lucy’s voice cuts through the moment like a knife.

“Shush.” Chloe says, her kind, motherly smile, already put back in place. “I hope you’re hungry. I made french toast.”

“Always.” Lincoln says, joining Lucy and Beca at the table.

Lucy’s gaze lingers on Beca’s features, specifically her eyes, for a moment or two. She knows if she were to question the look she sees, Beca would just brush her off anyway so she doesn’t say anything. Instead she turns her attention to the plate in front of her.

“Did you girls have a nice sleep?” Chloe asks, joining them at the table.

“Mhm.”

“Yes, thank you.” They both say at the same time.

Lincoln tries not to look up too much during their meal. She can’t remember the last time she had anything other than a pop-tart or a piece of dry toast for breakfast. Her stomach clenches at the thought but she does her best to push past it. She doesn’t want to look rude for not eating.

She can’t place why but she wants Beca and Chloe to like her. Most of the time she couldn’t care less about what adults think of her; most of them are dumb anyway. But they make her feel differently. She tries not to think about why too much. She takes a sip of her orange juice, chancing a look up. Chloe’s eyes meet hers and they both share a quick smile.

“So what’s the plan for the day?” Chloe asks, trying her best to steer them out of this awkward conversation-less breakfast.

She looks over to Beca for help but her head is down, fully absorbed in an email on her phone.

“School and band practice.” Lucy answers, still preoccupied with her breakfast.

Lincoln has never seen her eat this much and she does her best not to laugh at the image of this tiny girl eating a breakfast bigger than she is.

“Uh, school.” Lincoln says with a shrug.

“No after school activities?” Beca asks, taking her cue after Chloe kicks her under the table.

“Not right now. I was going to do indoor track but decided not to.”

Lucy knows it’s because of her. She had planned to do it with her but after the whole thing with Poppy and Matteo she didn’t feel like putting herself through the awkwardness every day. She’s tried to convince Lincoln to join band but she says she’s musically challenged and everyone would hate her.

“I was thinking of trying out for the school play, but,” She shrugs, “I don’t know.”

“Wait really?” Lucy says, making Lincoln look at her, trying to read her expression.

“You definitely should.” Chloe says, enthusiastically, “That’s a great idea. I was a huge theater nerd in high school.”

“Here we go.” Beca says with a roll of her eyes, making both of the girls laugh.

“When are auditions?”

“Next week. I don’t know if I’m going to do it.”

“I think you should.” Lucy says.

“You do?”

Beca and Chloe share a look across the table. Beca smirks and Chloe gives a warning glare, to ensure she doesn’t do or say anything to embarrass them.

“Alright ladies, it’s time for school.” Beca says, standing from her chair.

Both girls hop up and grab their bags.

“Have a good day.” Chloe says, kissing Beca. “And don’t forget what I said.” She adds, a little quieter.

She kisses Lucy on the head and hands each of the girls a packed lunch. Lincoln looks at it like it’s a fish with three heads.

They follow Beca to school. It’s still freezing outside and Beca actually can’t wait to get to the subway; at least down there the wind won’t whip her in the face. She stops in front of the school and turns to the girls.

“Alright, have a good day guys. Lou, I’ll come get you after practice.”

“Okay.”

Beca leaves in a hurry, anxious to get to work.

Lucy looks over at Lincoln, who is once again looking at the brown paper bag in her hands.

“What’s wrong?”

“What?”

Lucy gestures to the bag.

“Oh, um, I don’t know. It’s just, I’ve never had a lunch that I didn’t have to pack myself.”

* * *

Chloe is slowly starting to hate the sight of her computer screen. Since the engagement, she’s been spending most of her day planning; calling florists, and photographers, and DJ’s. She still needs to find a venue, which is causing her the most stress. She’s scrolling through, yet another, country club’s website. She scrunches her face up, it just seems so impersonal, to be married in a random room, in a random town, just because it’s big enough to fit their family and friends.

There’s a small sound that pulls her attention up. She had almost forgotten she was in Stacie’s apartment instead of her own. Stacie called her in a panic because she needed to get to work and her parents were suddenly unable to watch the baby. Of course she dropped everything to come over and help. She glances over at the baby monitor placed on the corner of the coffee table. Bella is still sleeping, well past her usual nap time.

She walks to the nursery, to check on her. When she leans over the crib, her even breathing is making her belly move up and down. Her lips are parted, just barely, and her eyelashes bounce with the slight movement of her eyes. She’s a stunning baby, with her mother’s hair and eyes. None of them know who the father is, including Stacie, so they can’t be sure which traits she inherited from him. Chloe has wondered a lot about that. When they have a child, they also will not know what traits come from the father. She wonders what that will feel like. She supposes as long as her and Beca are doing it together, none of the rest matters.

Bella’s eyes flutter open, almost like she’s sensed Chloe standing over her. She smiles, and reaches her little arms up toward her. Chloe lifts her, carefully, from the crib and cradles her to her chest.

“Hi there, did you have a good nap? Yeah?”

She decides, while holding this perfect little baby, that none of the rest could ever matter.

* * *

Anderson walks into Beca’s office and stops short when he notices she’s not in her chair. He looks around the room, and is about to leave when he sees her feet sticking out from behind her desk. He walks around to the other side and stifles a laugh when he sees her fully. She is laying on the floor, hands clasped on her stomach, eyes closed. She’s using her jacket as a pillow, but she still looks incredibly uncomfortable.

“What are you doing?”

“Writing.” She says, without opening her eyes.

“Oh, okay then. Don’t let me disturb you.”

He drops the file folder down on her desk before she sits up.

“Actually, could you distract me? I’ve been trying to come up with ideas for hours and I’ve got nothing. If I don’t do something else I’m gonna go insane.”

“Okay. I think I can help with that.”

* * *

“Hey Peach,” Lincoln says, taking a seat across from her at the cafeteria table. “what are you doing?”

“Trying to finish this algebra homework.”

Lincoln slides the notebook over in front of her. She reads over the questions in the textbook and jots the last few answers down with such ease, like it’s her own phone number.

“All done.”

“I’m never gonna learn if you do it for me.” Lucy says, trying to keep her smile at bay.

“A simple thank you would suffice.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re a math genius, we got it.”

Lincoln takes a sandwich, a bag of pretzels and an apple out of the brown paper bag that Chloe handed her this morning. She still feels strange, like it’s not really meant for her.

“There should be one more thing in there.” Lucy says, while zipping her books back into her bag.

Lincoln reaches her hand in and pulls out a brownie, wrapped in plastic wrap. There is a post-it note stuck to it, with a heart in red sharpie drawn on it. She smiles down at the table and puts it down gently.

“Are you excited to see your mom tonight?” Lucy asks, through a bite of turkey and cheese.

“Mhm, she said we’re going out to dinner.”

“That’ll be fun.”

“Yeah. If it actually happens.”

Lucy has noticed that Lincoln doesn’t talk about her mom much. She doesn’t think they’re all that close and she doesn’t pry; she knows, better than most, that being forced to talk about your family, when you don’t want to, can ruin your whole day.

“Well, you need to come over again for a real sleepover. We’ll do it right this time. I’m talking movies, more junk food than you can eat, and maybe I can even talk Beca into ordering pizza and chinese food.”

“You’re wild, Peach.” Lincoln says, only half kidding.

Lucy lets out a little giggle and shrugs her shoulders. Lincoln lets her eyes linger on Lucy’s smile for an extra few seconds before looking back at the heart on the neon pink post-it.

“And I get to pick the movie.” Lincoln adds which makes Lucy groan.

“Fine.”

* * *

Chloe has Bella playing on the floor with a pile of toys on each side of her. She tries her best to read through, yet another, photographer’s bio, while Baby Shark plays on a seemingly endless loop. She clicks through their online portfolio and wonders how this person has managed to book any jobs at all. Most of the photos are out of focus or slanted. She quickly closes her laptop. She sighs, half in exasperation, the other in utter defeat.

Bella pulls herself up on the coffee table and throws the toy she’s been biting on.

“I feel the same way, Bells.”

Chloe’s phone rings from her bag. When she pulls it out, she notices that the battery is already on two percent. Stacie’s name flashes across the screen and she already knows what’s coming.

“Hello?”

“Hey Chlo, it’s me. How’s everything going?”

“Great. Are you on your way home?”

“Not yet, that’s why I’m calling.”

Chloe rolls her eyes but keeps a gentle smile on her face.

“Can you keep Bella for a few more hours?”

“Yeah, sure. No problem.”

“I’ll see you-”

Her phone beeps before the screen goes black. She looks, halfheartedly, for a couple minutes for a charger but when Bella starts babbling loudly, she gives up the search and lays on the floor to play with her.

* * *

“Dude, it’s only three in the afternoon.” Beca says.

Anderson hands her a tequila shot and lifts it like he’s about to make a toast.

“It’s five o’clock somewhere. Besides, you’re a rockstar now, Mitchell. Act like it.”

“I’m also a producer, that should be at work. And a mom… kind of.”

“Mhm, sack up and drink.”

She laughs at the use of the phrase that almost always comes out of her mouth instead. She clinks the shot glass against his and throws it back.

“Alright, how is this supposed to help?”

“You wanted a distraction, not help writing, remember?”

“Mhm.”

Anderson gestures to the bartender to send another round. He’s a tall lanky guy, with tattoo sleeves on both arms. He nods and starts to pour.

“What’s the deal with this new music, anyway?”

“Matt’s worried that we’re losing the public’s interest.”

Anderson scoffs but nods, but not in agreement.

“Worried that we’re losing the public’s money.”

“That’s what I said.”

“With music like yours, and fans like yours, they’d wait three years for new music.”

“You really think so?”

Despite their growing friendship, it still takes her off guard when Anderson gives her a genuine compliment.

“I do. Your album was one of the best I’ve heard, ever.” He doesn’t look at her when he says this. Instead, he fiddles with his shot glass. “It was heartfelt and heavy, in all the best ways. And what Matt doesn’t seem to understand is that you can’t force art like that. It just doesn’t work.”

“He only wants four or five songs. I can do that.”

“I know you can. Just make sure you’re doing it in the right way; make sure it’s music that you’re proud of.”

Beca nods, hanging on his every word.

“You’re supposed to be distracting me, remember?” She says, with a small slap to his shoulder.

“Oh right.”

“So, what about you?”

“What about me?”

“I don’t know,” She shrugs, “I feel like you know so much about my life, and I don’t really know, like, anything about you.”

He chuckles and rubs the back of his neck. Beca always feels so small, much smaller than she does normally, when she sits next to him. He’s tall, and skinny, which makes him seem even taller. His hair is always messy, but in the way that tells you he spends time making it that way. His suits are always pressed, and coordinated with his shoes, tie, bag, and watch. Appearances are clearly very important to him.

“I grew up in the south.”

“Really?”

“Mhm, I moved here for college and fell in love with the city.”

“How’d you get into music?”

“Music was kind of always my way out of where I was. I would listen to it to escape. I know, I’m one giant cliché, but it was the only thing that made my world seem bigger than Redford, Oklahoma.”

“I get that.”

He looks up into her eyes; afraid that she’s somehow mocking him. But one look, and it’s clear she’s sincere.

“I can’t sing for shit, and I’m not great at any instruments, but I know what sounds good and what doesn’t. I’ve known for a long time that I wanted to make music. If not for me, than for all the other kids stuck in places like the one I grew up in. I wanted to make their worlds feel a little bigger, less suffocating. So I got into producing. I mean, I’m not as good as you, but-”

“Stop that.” She cuts him off, “You’re great at what you do.”

“Tell that to Matt.”

“I will.” She says, starting to feel the effects of the alcohol entering her system. “Tomorrow.”

He laughs. It’s hearty and louder than she had expected, but it makes her laugh too.

* * *

“Lucy, do you have someone coming to get you?” Mr. Sweeney asks, on his way out the door.

“Yeah, my sister is coming.”

“Okay, I’ll wait with you.”

He’s carrying a large tuba case. It’s almost as big as Lucy is and the image makes her laugh.

“No, that’s okay. She’ll be here soon.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” She nods.

He looks unsure, but decides to take her word for it. He gives a little wave but it makes him almost drop the case. He catches it before it hits the ground. He turns the corner and is quickly out of sight. Lucy checks her phone, it’s almost 5:15. She figures the subway was delayed, or Beca’s just running behind, so she sits on one of the benches in the lobby and waits. The school is quiet; quieter than she’s ever heard it. Somewhere off in the distance she can hear voices; they sound like grown ups. But with most of the lights turned off, it’s very eerie.

* * *

“No way, there’s no way your favorite album of all time is Dark Side of The Moon.”

“Why not? It’s a great album.”

“The one that you watch alongside The Wizard of Oz? I don’t buy it. What’s your favorite album for real?”

“Fine, you wanna know? You really wanna know?”

“I really really do.”

They’ve been at this bar for a few hours now and Beca has successfully been distracted. Their drinks have long since been forgotten, but she still feels light and bubbly.

“Alright, my favorite album is Rumors by Fleetwood Mac.”

Beca pauses. She blinks a couple times before she deadpans, “Yeah. That makes more sense for you.”

“I don’t know if I should be insulted or not.”

“Why would you be insulted? You said it was your favorite, not me.”

Anderson leans back and Beca catches a glimpse out the window. It’s dark out and her heart skips a beat. She grabs Anderson’s arm and looks at his watch.

“Shit.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I forgot about Lucy. I gotta go.”

She grabs her bag and coat and rushes out the door. She’s jogging down the street while trying to get her left arm into her sleeve when she nearly slips on a patch of ice. She gets to the subway and pulls her phone out of her pocket. She has 5 missed calls and 13 missed text messages from Lucy. She taps the contact and it rings once before it goes dead.

“Fuck.”

* * *

Lucy, ever since that one day she walked home all alone, has been terrified to go anywhere without Beca or Chloe. The whole way she felt like someone was right behind her, out of sight, about to grab her. She thinks maybe she should just toughen up and walk home anyway, but she can’t seem to get her feet to move.

She’s tried calling and texting both Beca and Chloe, but has gotten no response. Her heart is beating, hard, in her chest. She can feel it against her rib cage, vibrating against her entire skeletal system. She does her best to keep her breathing even, but it doesn’t really seem to work. Tears prick at her eyes. She tenses her throat, so hard that it hurts, to try and keep from crying.

* * *

Beca runs up the front steps of the school, it’s nearly 6:30 at this point. She hopes, more than anything, that Lucy is still here. She pushes through the heavy glass doors and stops, dead in her tracks, when she sees Lucy. She’s pacing back and forth across the lobby; her shoes squeak on the tile floor and her hands are wringing in front of her.

“Scout.”

She stops moving and turns her head in her sister’s direction. She looks like a deer caught in the headlights of an eighteen-wheeler. Her hair has partially come out of it’s ponytail and her cheeks are bright red.

“I’m so sorry that I’m so late.”

“Where were you?”

Her voice doesn’t sound like hers. At least it doesn’t sound like the version of Lucy that has emerged in the past few weeks. It sounds like Lucy from six months ago and it makes Beca’s entire body ache.

“I’m so sorry.”

She wants to wrap Lucy up and kiss her head and tell her it’s all going to be okay, but she can’t do that. She can’t do it with a clear conscience when she knows that she’s the reason Lucy is upset right now.

“I want to go home.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

Lucy doesn’t speak, she doesn’t even look at Beca, the entire way home. Beca can feel the anger and the fear dripping off of her. She can see the tenseness of her muscles and the whiteness of her knuckles in her clenched fists.

When they walk through the door of the apartment, it’s quiet. Chloe still isn’t home. Beca worries about her, she was supposed to be home by now. They all were. Almost like they planned it, Chloe walks through the door behind them.

“What happened?” She says, looking at Beca, clearly expecting an answer; answers Beca doesn’t have, rather answers she doesn’t want to give.

Lucy rushes over to her and wraps her arms around her waist. Chloe can feel her trembling. She kisses her head, and makes gentle shushing sounds. There’s something about the look on Beca’s face, the glassy, glazed look in her eyes and rosiness of her cheeks, that makes her stomach gurgle.

“Come on, sweet girl, let’s go lay down.” She turns to Beca and says quietly, but with a fire that Beca hasn’t heard in a very long time, “Then we’re going to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from It's Hard to Be Human by Kina Grannis
> 
> come hang: www.lastchildofkrypton.tumblr.com


	4. this lonely aching feeling, should never belong to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm back with another update. This marks the first Sunday update! As we move into the new school year I will be trying to stick to a Sunday update schedule. I hope you all enjoy and I want to thank you for all the support I've received while starting this story.

Chloe lays Lucy down in her bed and crawls in next to her. Lucy’s vice grip tightens on her sweater. She hasn’t seen her face but she knows exactly what it looks like right now; which is why she isn’t forcing her to look up. She can’t bear to see the tears rolling down her bright red cheeks, or the painful frown, pulling down the sides of her mouth. She kisses her hair again and says, quietly,

“It’s okay, Lucy. You’re okay.”

She lets out another, breathless, sob; slowly wearing herself out. She’s already exhausted from the school day, and the hour and a half of panic. Every ounce of energy has been drained from her completely.

“I was alone.”

“You’re never alone, sweet girl.”

“I was today. And I was that day with Gardner.”

“I know today must have been really scary, but honey, he can’t get to you anymore. Beca just lost track of time. You’re okay now.”

Lucy doesn’t say anything else. She doesn’t know what she would say, even if she could. All of her thoughts are swirling around in her brain but she’s too tired to try and make them stop. Eventually her breathing evens out and her grip on Chloe’s sweater loosens. Once she’s sure she’s asleep, Chloe gently untangles herself, and slips out of the bed.

Beca is sitting on one of the island stools, chewing on her thumbnail. Her knee is bouncing erratically, and the look on her face makes it clear that her brain is moving just as fast.

“Beca.”

Her eyes flicker over to Chloe’s but the rest of her body stays the way it was. Chloe stands on the opposite side of the island and crosses her arms over her chest. The look on her face makes it clear that she’s pissed.

“Beca.”

“What?”

“What do you mean what? What the hell happened?”

Beca hesitates. She knows the explanation is only going to make Chloe more angry. She knows that the only outcome of this conversation is an argument.

“I lost track of time.”

“For an hour and a half? What was so important at work that you couldn’t call and say you’d be late? You told her you’d be there at five, you should have been there at five.”

“You really want to go there with me right now?”

It’s a slap to the face. They both expect Chloe to tear up but it only adds more fuel to her fire.

“I was twenty minutes late, you were an hour and a half late, that’s a big difference.”

“Yeah, the last time. What about tonight? I find it really hard to believe she didn’t call you too.”

“I was watching Bella and my phone died.”

“Couldn’t charge it?”

“Stop trying to turn this around on me. I wasn’t the one who said they would pick her up and the fact that you’re even trying to make me feel bad about this is really immature.”

“Great. So now I’m irresponsible and immature.”

Chloe feels anger bubble up higher in her chest, working its way up to her throat; she’s afraid she is going to burst with something even more hurtful. She takes a deep breath and tries to keep perspective.

“I know you’re stressed out right now but there’s no excuses for what happened tonight. And don’t think I can’t smell the alcohol on your breath.”

Beca crosses her arms over her chest and forces her eyes to look into Chloe’s.

“Are you finished?”

“Excuse me? This isn’t something you can just shrug off. You want to know how serious this is, I think Lucy’s face said it all.”

“God, Chloe, that’s enough. You think I don’t already hate myself for making her feel like that? This morning she was so happy and now she’s, she’s…”

Beca lets out her own sob. She wraps her arms around her stomach and bites her lower lip to keep herself together. When she speaks again, it’s driven and hard and everything Beca usually isn’t.

“I made a mistake; a big, huge, stupid mistake. And I can’t fix it, I can’t go back and make it not happen. So please, stop making me feel worse.”

“I wasn’t trying to make you feel worse.”

“No? Then what were you trying to do?”

“I was trying to make you realize that this isn’t about you, or about me. This is about Lucy.”

“I know that.” Beca spits back, she uses every ounce of willpower left in her body to keep herself from yelling, “My whole life is about that kid now.”

Chloe waits. Beca’s tone and body language hasn’t changed, so she isn’t sure how to take that.

“My entire world is that little girl. I would rather chew off my own arm than do something to hurt her. But I’m twenty-seven years old with a twelve year old daughter, a job that keeps asking more from me, a wedding to plan, and that damn dog. I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do with all of that if I’m expected to never make mistakes.”

“No one’s saying you can’t make mistakes.”

“It sure feels like you are.”

They keep their spots. Their words hang in the air between them creating an impenetrable wall of anger and hurt. Neither of them know what to do next. Neither want to concede, but neither want to stay angry. If this were any other kid, any other situation, this argument probably wouldn’t be happening; but as always, they are reminded that they aren’t just anyone else. They’re trapped in an increasingly difficult and complicated situation. They need each other to stay afloat. Beca knows she needs to reach out to her life preserver; she needs to reach out to Chloe.

“I was out with Anderson.”

“Out drinking.”

“Yeah. He was helping me with my new songs and we just, lost track of time, which is a luxury I realize I don’t really have anymore.”

“I’m sorry I got so angry. It was pretty hypocritical. I just hate seeing her like that.”

“I know. Me too. I’m sorry I tried to blame you. I’m just so mad at myself. She’s been hurt so many times, and usually we’re the ones to make it better. I hate, more than anything, that I caused it this time. I wish all of the shitty stuff that’s happened to her didn’t leave such deep scars.”

Beca walks around the island and opens her arms. Chloe walks into them, wrapping her arms around her waist. She rests her chin on Beca’s shoulder and sighs; it’s long and slow.

“She’ll get past it and those scars will just be stories she tells one day.”

“I think that might be worse.”

* * *

Lucy wakes up in the middle of the night. She startles when she realizes she’s not alone in her bed. Chloe is sleeping next to her. She has her hand resting on Lucy’s stomach with her other arm curled under her head. Lucy stretches her legs out and lets out an involuntary squeak. Chloe stirs, but she doesn’t wake up.

The events of earlier come back to her like a bad dream. She shivers under her covers as she thinks about the look in Chloe’s eyes when she walked through the door, while she remembers the sound of Beca’s voice when she rushed into the school. Things like this never happened back in Georgia. She wonders if it’s the city that’s so different, or if Beca and Chloe will just never be able to make her fit into their life.

* * *

Beca takes an extra long shower the next morning. The warm water spraying her in the face forces her to close her eyes; something she didn’t do much of all night. Her insides are clenched tight, and her throat is sore. She feels like she could vomit when the image of Lucy’s broken little features enters her mind.

She opens her eyes and turns the water off. Once she’s dressed she walks to the kitchen. She’s surprised when she sees Lucy at the table, already dressed; she assumed that getting her to school today would be a struggle but one look at the expression on her face and it’s clear she can’t get out of there fast enough. She dumps her dishes into the sink and grabs her backpack.

“Good morning, Lucy.” Beca says, testing the waters, unsurprised when there’s no answer.

“Good morning, baby.” Chloe says, leaning over from her spot in front of the coffeemaker to kiss her head. “I’m gonna bring her to school. Have a good day at work, okay?”

“I’ll try.”

She looks over to Lucy, staring at her phone, turned as far away from them as she can.

“Have a good day, Scout. I’ll see you tonight.”

As soon as the last sentence leaves her mouth, Lucy looks up with a hurt in her eyes so deep it leaves Beca breathless. They walk out the door, leaving Beca alone. She gathers herself to get out the door because if she doesn’t leave now, Chloe will come back to a heap on the floor.

* * *

Chloe walks, with Lucy right behind her, almost the entire way to school. There’s no conversation, no jokes, or giggling, like there usually is. It’s cold, and windy, and Chloe wishes they were both back at home, tucked safely into bed. She wishes she could go back and make yesterday never happen.

“Luce, look at me,” She says when they stop in front of the school, “you’re gonna have to forgive her at some point.”

“Why?”

“Because she just made a mistake. We’re all allowed to make mistakes.”

“So, my feelings don’t matter?”

“I’m not saying that.”

“Feels like you are.” Lucy crosses her arms over her chest and sets her face in a way that looks just like her father.

“Your feelings matter. They do. And I’m sorry if we’ve made it seem like they don’t. When you get home today we’re all going to sit down and talk, alright?”

Lucy doesn’t answer. She doesn’t nod or even look at Chloe. She just walks, slowly, toward the main entrance of the school. Chloe watches her go. She feels like she’s failed, like Beca has failed, and she isn’t sure how their conversation will go; but she knows it needs to happen. She knows that they need to try and fix it before it’s too late.

* * *

“Should I take it as a hint that you keep trying to run out of bars away from me?” Anderson asks, from his chair in the conference room the next morning.

Beca looks, and feels, like shit. She pushes her sunglasses up onto her head, and takes her own seat across from him. He recognizes the look on her face, but he doesn’t want to be the one to point it out.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I told Lucy I would pick her up from school and kind of, well I forgot. It wasn’t a great night.”

“I’m sorry, that’s tough. Is everything okay now?”

She shrugs, “She’s still pretty pissed at me. She wouldn’t even talk to me this morning.”

She looks, almost, like she could cry. Anderson shifts in his chair, suddenly very uncomfortable. He says the first thing that comes to his mind,

“She’ll get over it. Kids are like that.”

“Know a lot about kids, do you?” She asks, doing her best to give him a smirk. It doesn’t work.

“Kids in general? Not a thing. But I have hung out with Lucy, and I can tell she’s tough as nails. And she loves you a whole lot.” He shrugs, “Siblings fight sometimes.”

“We aren’t really like most siblings.”

“That’s true. But still, everything turned out fine. She’ll forgive you in a couple days.”

“I hope so.”

* * *

Chloe sighs, watching Lucy’s defeated body language, as she walks through the main entrance of the school. She’s already so small, with her shoulders slumped and head hanging down, she’s even smaller. Chloe wishes she could explain it all to her. She wishes she could say why Daniel and Sheila died, why Gardner did what he did, and why she’s feeling all of those big, scary feelings; but it would be impossible since she doesn’t know herself.

Chloe feels her own shoulders slump, but she manages to keep her head up. She walks back to their apartment, just as her phone starts to ring.

“Hi Mom.”

“Hi baby, how are you doing?”

Nora’s smooth and caring voice envelops Chloe. It moves around her in a way that allows her muscles to ease into a more comfortable position and she feels the lingering headache in the back of her skull dissipate just slightly. She even smiles.

“I’m okay. How are things there?”

“Well, they’re…” There’s a pause. A search for the proper wording. “They’re improving. Your father is at least speaking to me again. So I guess that’s something.”

Chloe will never understand her father’s anger. Despite the fact that she was angry with Fletcher at first too, she had good reason; at least that’s what she keeps saying to herself when the guilt creeps back up. Her father is angry for anger’s sake and she can’t seem to forgive him for that; and neither can Fletcher.

“He still hasn’t gotten over himself yet?”

“Chloe.”

“What, mom? There are other, much bigger, issues out there in the world that he could be focusing his anger at. Instead, he decides to pout like a toddler.”

“I’m not sure that’s fair.”

“What’s fair anyway?”

Nora sighs, “You’ve got me there. Now, are you going to tell me what’s got you so upset? Because I don’t think all of this is just about your father.”

Chloe isn’t sure she wants to say. She doesn’t want to admit that they aren’t handling things as well as they could be.

“I don’t know. Just wedding planning stress.”

“I don’t envy you. I’d offer to help you but I’m not sure that would be a good thing. Our wedding was a total disaster.”

Foreshadowing? Chloe wonders to herself but quickly pushes her thoughts aside. She knows that’s not fair. Instead she says,

“I remember those stories. I should probably get going, Mom. But I’ll call you later this week.”

“Okay, my love. I’ll speak to you soon. Try to have a good day.”

“I will. I love you.”

“I love you the most.”

As soon as the line goes dead she lets out a hefty exhale. She pushes her hair back and pulls at the roots. It’s going to be another long day.

* * *

Lucy walks down the hallway and straight to her locker without even looking up. She’s still fuming from the morning. Just seeing Beca’s face caused a flood of fear and anger into her chest. She tries to shake it off but then she catches a glimpse of Poppy and Matteo, chatting happily, on the other end of the hallway. Her stomach clenches even tighter, it almost makes it hard to walk. She pushes her backpack into her locker; it barely fits with the extra stuff she grabbed this morning shoved inside.

“Hey Peach, I brought all that stuff you told me to. Are you finally going to tell me what’s going on?”

“We’re running away.”

“What?” Lincoln asks, a little chuckle escapes with her words but a concerned expression takes over her features. “You’re kidding.”

Lucy shakes her head, “Nope, you ever been to Georgia?”

* * *

Beca is sitting at work. She hasn’t been able to get much done. All she’s thought about is Lucy, and Chloe, and what tonight is going to be like. She’s run through a million and one ways she could make it up to Lucy but none of them feel good enough. She thinks about what Chloe said, about how Lucy will, someday, move past this.

It sparks something in her; something like hope or, well, she isn’t quite sure. But whatever it is, it makes her pick up her pen and start writing.

* * *

Chloe walks up to the school and stands in her usual spot. She watches the herd of children leaving the building, bundled in their coats, ready to get home. She waits, longer than usual; Lucy is always one of the first kids out of the building but today she’s nowhere to be seen. The outpour of kids turns to a light trickle until no one is left. Chloe taps Lucy’s contact in her phone and waits for it to ring; which it does, for a while, until she gets her voicemail.

Her heart starts beating faster. She looks around the entire area, as far as she can see, but Lucy is nowhere to be found. She looks for Lincoln’s tall, lanky, build, but she doesn’t see her either. She calls Lucy two more times before her breathing starts to quicken and she has to force her eyes to focus. She notices Poppy coming out of the building with her father a few minutes later.

“Poppy,” She calls out.

She knows it’s a long shot but she has to ask. Dean Weaver gives her an inquisitive look but doesn’t say a word to greet her.

“Hi Chloe.” Poppy says, in a shy, almost ashamed, tone.

“Have you seen Lucy anywhere?”

Poppy looks up to her father, as if she’s asking permission to answer. He gives a curt nod, but it’s clear he is judging her.

“She left right after final bell. I saw her and Lincoln leave out the side door.”

“Where were they going?”

“I have no idea. I’m sorry.”

“No,” Chloe says, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, “no, thank you.”

She rushes off without another word. She lifts her phone to her ear again, this time an answer is almost immediate.

“Hi Chlo, I can’t really talk right-”

“Lucy’s gone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger... see you Sunday :)
> 
> Chapter title is from the song Room For You by Joseph
> 
> come hang: www.lastchildofkrypton.tumblr.com


	5. It breaks my heart (to know I can't go back in time)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I am actually pretty nervous to post this one...
> 
> There was a lot of Beca and Anderson hate after the last chapter... also some Lucy hate. I love you guys but some of y'all are ruthless. I’m hoping that this chapter fixes some of that...? Hopefully.

“What do you mean she’s gone? Where?”

“I don’t know. I came to pick her up at school, but she didn’t come out, and then Poppy said she left with Lincoln out some side door. Beca, she isn’t here.”

“Okay,” Beca says, attempting to keep her tone calm. “Okay, um...”

She tries to stay calm, despite the fact that she feels all of the breath leave her body; despite the fact that she received an almost identical call, only a few months ago, that changed the course of nearly everything. She feels the adrenaline start coursing through her body.

“I’m gonna track her location on her phone. Give me a second.”

After the incident with Gardner, Beca made sure they all shared their locations with one another; she just hopes Lucy’s phone is still on.

“Where does it say she is?” Chloe asks, her voice crackles over speakerphone.

Beca impatiently taps her fingers on her desk, “I don’t know, the damn thing won’t load.”

She puts the phone flat on the desk so she can put her coat on. After a few more seconds, Chloe’s voice cuts through the unbearable quiet.

“Beca?”

Once it loads, Beca lifts her phone back up and squints at the tiny dot on the map.

“What the hell?”

“What? What’s it say?”

Part of her wants to point out the fact that Chloe could be looking it up too. If this were any other situation she probably would, with a snarky comment, but now her brain can barely function enough to say,

“They’re heading toward Port Authority.”

“Oh my God.”

Beca puts the phone back up to her ear and rushes toward the elevator.

“Beca, where are you going? We have a meeting in five minutes.” Anderson calls out after her.

“I can’t. I have to-” Her voice crackles before it cuts out completely.

He seems to understand because he nods, solemnly, and waits until the elevator doors close, separating them.

“Chlo, you still there?”

“Mhm,” She sniffles, “I’m heading there now. I’ll call you if I find her.”

“Okay, I’m right behind you.”

* * *

“Lucy, what are we doing?”

“I already told you.” Lucy says, with a determination in her tone that Lincoln has never heard.

The entire time that they’ve known each other, Lucy has been timid, sometimes awkward, and always gentle. She’s been unsure of herself in most respects but right now, she seems confident, in a scary kind of way. Lincoln reaches out and grabs Lucy’s arm to stop her from walking any further.

“No, I mean, we’re kids. We can’t just hop on a bus by ourselves.”

“Then we just need to pretend like we’re not by ourselves.”

“And how do we do that?”

Lucy notes that Lincoln gets a little crinkle in between her eyebrows when she’s concerned. She realizes that she’s never really seen Lincoln worried about anything; she’s always steadfast and overly casual. She wonders, very briefly, if that should be the first hint that this isn’t a great choice. She tries to force her brain to think about the consequences, but she’s completely out of control now. She focuses on Lincoln’s breath, to keep her eyes off of her face, it’s visible due to the cold weather. It swirls up in between them. She watches it for a second before she says,

“We lie.”

* * *

Beca has never felt less thankful to live in New York City. She doesn’t have time to weigh her options about the best way to get where she needs to go. She pushes through the crowds of people and rushes down the stairs to the subway. She stops when she hears the echoing announcement overhead. The noise from a guy playing the bucket drum obscures most of it but she catches a few words, _delayed,_ _problem on the tracks,_ _45 minutes_.

She rushes back up the stairs, to the street. She’s breathing heavy by the time she gets to the last step but she doesn’t stop. The cold air hurts her face and throat but she doesn’t have time to think about that. She starts pushing past more people toward the bus station.

* * *

“Hello,” Lucy says, putting on her most grown up sounding voice, as she steps up to the ticket counter, “we would like two tickets to Atlanta, Georgia, please.”

The man behind the counter is large. He towers over Lucy’s small stature and his shoulders are as wide as her dad’s old truck. She gives a smile, that she hopes distracts from the lack of guardianship. Lincoln is standing just behind her, looking down at her boots that squeak against the cement floor. The man smacks his gum and looks around the nearly empty room.

“Your mom or dad with you, kid?”

“Oh, uh, my mom is.” Even saying this sentence hurts. “She went to the bathroom but she asked me to get our tickets.”

“Two tickets for three people, huh?” He asks, gesturing with his head toward Lincoln.

“My mom already has one. Last minute trips, you know?”

Lucy feels every muscle in her body quake. She knows her cheeks are red and she can feel the slightest prick of tears against her eyes. She can practically see her plan crumbling to pieces in front of her.

“Why don’t you go get her and then we’ll get you those tickets.” He says, turning his back on them before Lucy has a chance to answer.

Lincoln pulls her away. They stand in a small nook, across from the escalators. She puts her hands on her hips and tilts her head to the side.

“Okay, you made your point. Can we go home now?”

“You’re chickening out?”

“Lucy, this isn’t you. I don’t know what’s going on but I know, the second we get on that bus, you’re going to regret it. So, let’s just go home, and we can figure it all out there.”

“No.” Lucy says, setting her jaw and forcing her lips into a straight line. “That apartment isn’t my home. Georgia is my home and that’s where I need to be.”

“And what’s the plan when we get there?”

She can see the panic in Lincoln’s eyes and it pulls at her heart, just a little, she almost scraps the whole idea, but something inside of her won’t let her. She balls her hands into tight fists by her sides and says,

“We’ll stay with Mrs. Reed or Emily, or I don’t know.” She shrugs. “My old house is still there. We could stay there.”

“By ourselves?”

“Look, if you don’t want to come, that’s fine. But I’m going no matter what.”

Lincoln sighs and shakes her head. She knows it’s time to pull out the big guns.

“You’d leave Finch behind like that?”

“When we get there we can send for him, I don’t know. I don’t know!” She echoes, much louder the second time. “I just know I can’t stay where I am.”

“In New York?”

“New York... with Beca and Chloe... none of this is right. Nothing has felt right since I got here, so I’m going back to Georgia. I was always happy there.”

* * *

“Beca, I’m here but I don’t see her yet.”

“Okay, I’m two minutes away. Stay on the phone.”

On both ends of the line there is chatter, and sirens, and non-stop noise that makes Chloe’s head spin. Her eyes bounce around the entire space. Lucy is somewhere in this building and they are going to find her; she keeps reminding herself of that because if she doesn’t, she’ll lose it altogether. There are plenty of people, rushing to catch their bus, or get the subway, but none of them are the person she’s desperate to find.

“Chlo.”

Her name echoes around her. She turns to see Beca, distressed, rushing toward her. She wraps her up in her arms; thankful she isn’t here to deal with it all alone.

“I’m so sorry, I don’t know-”

“Hey, this isn’t your fault. We’re gonna find her and bring her home.”

Beca takes her hand and squeezes it, tight. She doesn’t let it go, instead she pulls it, still clasped in her own, to her chest and keeps Chloe close while they search each floor.

* * *

Lucy is sitting in one of the waiting areas trying to figure out how to buy bus tickets on her phone but her service is not great and it’s taking forever; adding to her frustration. She bites on her thumb nail while her knee bounces up and down. Lincoln looks around, at all of the people, hoping that through the crowd she’ll catch a glimpse of Beca or Chloe. She’s pretty sure they don’t know where they are, she doesn’t know how they would, but they must know Lucy is gone by now. She hopes somehow they’ll come and shake her out of whatever trance she’s in.

“Can I ask you something?” Lincoln asks, it’s quiet but Lucy manages to catch it.

“What?”

“What happened?”

“What are you talking about?”

“What do you mean, what am I talking about?” She gestures around them. “Two days ago we were having a sleepover at your house. We had fun. Beca woke you up with a kiss on your head,”

Lucy bristles. She hadn’t known Lincoln was awake for that.

“Chloe made us french toast and things were…” She shakes her head. “They were great. I thought. And now we’re sitting in a bus station running away like the main characters in a Mark Twain book.”

Lucy sits up straighter and stiffens every muscle in her body.

“Things aren’t always what they seem.”

“Come on, Lucy. Sooner or later you’re gonna have to stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

“Excuse me?”

Lincoln shifts further away from her in her chair but turns her body inward, to keep their conversation as private as possible in this very public space.

“I can’t imagine what it’s like to have parents that love you as much as yours did. And I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose them but you’re acting like you have nothing left.”

“What do I have left?”

Lucy turns her body toward Lincoln and it closes a little bit of the distance. She crosses her arms over her chest and purses her lips. In this moment, Lincoln feels like they’re perfect strangers. It’s suddenly made very clear that meeting someone during the worst time of their life is like learning a new language; the second you feel like you have a handle on them, it all flips, and you’re stuck misunderstanding everything, struggling to keep up.

“You have Chloe and your sister. They love you so much and-”

“I don’t think they love me that much.”

“You’re kidding, right? My own mom barely talks to me or makes time for me but your sister rearranged her whole life for you. She smiles when you walk in the room and Chloe listens to you when you talk. It may not seem like it, but take it from someone who’s never had anyone look at them the way they look at you, they love you.”

“But do they love me enough?”

Her tone has crumbled. It’s soft and insecure, and Lincoln sees a little bit of her come back.

“I guess that’s up to you, isn’t it?”

* * *

When Beca and Chloe finally make it down to the bottom floor, where all of the buses depart, Chloe just hopes it’s not too late. They’ve all lost service so they can’t track Lucy anymore.

Beca checks the bathroom while Chloe reads over the departure board, trying to figure out where she would possibly be going. When she reads the bottom name, she feels dumber than she’s ever felt.

“Of course.”

“What?”

She hadn’t realized Beca was back at her side. She looks quickly at her face, then back at the board, and points.

“She’s trying to go to Georgia.”

The realization, the conclusion they should have come to almost an hour ago, dawns on Beca and they rush to gate 53. The bus departs in half an hour, but Beca knows they never board on time. She must still be somewhere inside. Beca stands on one of the waiting area chairs to get a better view and catches a flash of golden brown hair and a maroon backpack.

“Got her.” She says, hopping down and heading in the direction she had just been searching.

“Lucy.” Chloe calls out, it’s too quiet and gets lost among the commotion of the station.

“Scout.” Beca yells.

Lucy stiffens. From behind, they can see her shoulders lift and her hands ball up. She turns, slowly, and locks her eyes onto Beca’s. It’s somehow both long awaited, and so sudden, that it takes Beca’s breath away. They meet in the middle of the lobby area. Beca takes stock of both girls; they look unharmed. Lincoln looks freaked, and Lucy is still radiating the same anger as early this morning, but overall they look okay.

“Care to explain yourselves?” Beca crosses her arms over her chest.

Chloe puts one of her hands on the small of her back. She can barely feel it through her thick winter coat but she knows it’s there.

“I’m going to Georgia.” Lucy says, unwavering. “And you can’t stop me.”

“No? Watch me.”

“Beca,” Chloe says, “not here.”

Beca feels anger, the anger she wasn’t allowing herself to feel before, bubble up into her chest. If she isn’t careful it’s going to overflow and spew something infuriated out of her mouth. Because now that she knows Lucy is okay, she can be mad at her. She doesn’t know how to be anything else right now.

Chloe grips the fabric of Beca’s coat and keeps her in her place. She already knows what’s coming. She’s witnessed a few Mitchell showdowns and she hopes they can keep it together until they’re in the privacy of their own home. Chloe offers a gentle smile to Lincoln who has chanced a quick look up, but she puts her head right back down to focus on her shoelaces.

“We’re going home, Lucy. Now.”

Beca puts a hand on Lucy’s arm, ready to guide her out of her new least favorite place in the city.

“No,” She yells, yanking her arm back, “I don’t want to go anywhere with you.”

“Lucy.” Beca says, this time it’s a warning.

“No, Beca, do you even want me to go home with you? Do you even like having me here? Why are you fighting so hard for me to stay when everything since I got here has sucked?”

There’s an all too familiar strain to Lucy’s voice; like it’s about to crack and break.

“What are you talking about? You really think that I don’t want you here because I forgot to pick you up last night? Lucy, it was a mistake.”

Lincoln looks up again; this time at Beca. Lucy hadn’t mentioned that. Even a quick look at Beca’s expression and she can feel the guilt and hurt. She grips her backpack straps tighter and waits for this to be over.

“No. This is because ever since I’ve gotten here nothing has been right. It’s been too hard. Things shouldn’t be this hard.”

A single tear drips down Lucy’s cheek and she wipes it away, leaving a small red mark there instead.

“I know what you mean, but I promise you, running away…” Beca shakes her head slowly, “it never makes anything better. Trust me, I’ve tried it too many times to count.”

“Me too, remember?” Chloe adds.

“Well, I don’t see how it could make things any worse.”

Beca takes a step closer and chances placing her hand on Lucy’s arm again. She doesn’t pull away this time. Beca feels her anger start to dissipate. She looks at her sister’s face and now all she can feel is a deep ache, in her bones, in her heart. She grips Lucy’s sleeve and hopes, more than anything, that her words break through.

“Okay, so you’ve been here for six months and think you’ve learned everything?”

Lucy looks pretty sure when she nods her head.

“Alright then, can I tell you what I’ve learned since you’ve been here?”

Lucy shrugs and looks up into Beca’s eyes.

“I mean there are a lot of things, but I’ll give you the cliff notes version, in case you still want to catch that bus. I’ve learned that you listen to Beethoven while you study history and it’s Mozart when you’re working on English.”

Lucy quirks an eyebrow; this isn’t where she thought this conversation was going to go. But she’s right.

“Your favorite breakfast is french toast with extra cinnamon. I’ve learned that you can pick up the rules of any board game faster than anyone else I know, and you hate movies that are even remotely scary. You love animals, and plants, and drink enough water throughout the day to drown the island of Manhattan. And, I think I’ve always known this, but I’ve seen first hand how big your heart is and just how strong you are. Look, I know that nothing has been easy, or has felt right, since you’ve gotten here but that’s because most things in life aren’t easy,”

She grips Lucy’s arm tighter.

“And I wish that you didn’t have to learn that lesson at twelve years old, but now that you know it, I hope you can realize that even when things are hard, if we’re together they aren’t unbearable.”

Lucy lets several tears drip down her cheeks before pulling Beca into her arms and letting out a sob.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“Sh, I know.”

“I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Let’s just go home.”

Lucy nods against her shoulder but doesn’t pull away yet. Now that her stubborn anger is starting to drift away, embarrassment is moving into it’s place. She doesn’t want to see the looks of the people around them; their questioning gaze or judgmental stares. She pulls away and takes Beca’s hand in her own, squeezing tightly, refusing to let go. She feels like she’s lived a hundred days in just this one; and it’s not even five p.m. yet.

“You guys go home, I’m going to bring Lincoln home.” Chloe says, as they make it up to the subway entrance.

“You sure?” Beca asks.

She knows it’s going to be an awkward conversation, having to explain that Lucy tried to kidnap her best friend, but there’s no way around it.

Chloe nods her head. She still has tears in her eyes.

“Mhm.” She puts her hand on Lincoln’s shoulder and leads her away.

Lincoln doesn’t look back up at Lucy. She doesn’t know what she would do, or say, if she did. She doesn’t know how to feel right now. She keeps her vice grip on her backpack straps and leads Chloe through the turnstiles of the subway to her usual train home. She knows that none of them have ever been to her house, and she was hoping to keep it that way, at least for a while. But there’s no way around it now.

* * *

Once Lucy and Beca step inside their apartment, Lucy drops her bag with a harsh exhale, happy to get the weight off her shoulders. She takes her coat and hat off, but doesn’t move; she knows there’s more that needs to be said, but she isn’t sure if Beca will make the first move or not.

“We need to bring Finch out, why don’t you go get him?”

Beca’s voice is stiff. It holds a harsh contrast to her usual warm tone. Lucy knows she’s disappointed her, and she doesn’t even want to think about what Chloe thinks of her now. She does as she’s told and takes Finch from his crate. She cuddles him to her face before whispering,

“I’m so sorry, buddy. I really messed up.”

* * *

“This is it.” Lincoln says, gesturing to a run down building in the middle of Harlem.

Chloe keeps her close. She can’t imagine letting Lincoln go anywhere in this neighborhood, or any neighborhood, alone. She thinks about how she’s left alone overnight in this building and stuck taking the train back and forth to school every day. The longer they’ve walked, the more curious Chloe has become about who Lincoln’s mother is. She needs to meet this woman. She needs to see who could look this little girl in the face and pretend like she never saw her at all.

Lincoln leads her up to the fifth story walk-up and takes her keys from her backpack. She struggles with the lock for a moment before the door opens. A woman, presumably Lincoln’s mother, is on the other side. She’s dressed in a nice pantsuit, not a single hair out of place; a stark contrast to the rest of the apartment. It’s dark and dim and looks like it hasn’t been cleaned in months. There’s a stack of laundry on the couch, and dishes piled in the sink. Chloe does her best to keep her expression neutral.

“Hi mom.”

“Hi Linc, who’s this?”

“Hello, I’m Chloe Beale, Lucy’s, uh,” She’s never really had to introduce herself like this before, “Lucy’s sister.”

The woman looks confused.

“Lucy is a friend from school.” Lincoln adds and the woman nods.

“Oh okay, hi, Michelle Fuller. It’s nice to meet you. Thanks for bringing her home.”

She pretty much pushes Chloe out the door, but Chloe does her best to keep her position.

“Of course, I just wanted to speak with you for a minute. If that’s alright.”

She seems ruffled by this, like she’s in a rush to get somewhere, but she looks between Chloe and Lincoln, sees their expressions, and nods.

“I just wanted to let you know, that um, well, Lucy and Lincoln almost got on a bus to go to Georgia this afternoon. It was Lucy’s idea but I thought I should let you know that-”

Michelle starts to laugh, surprising Chloe, but Lincoln doesn’t seem fazed.

“Georgia? What the hell is in Georgia?” She asks, looking to Lincoln.

“That’s where Lucy is from. She wanted to go back.” Lincoln’s voice is different than Chloe has ever heard it. It’s soft and sad.

“Well, maybe some other time you guys can go.”

Chloe doesn’t know what to do with that. She had run through this conversation a few times while on the subway, trying to imagine how it would go, and out of all of the scenarios she had thought up, this definitely wasn’t one.

“Anyway, thanks for bringing her back, uh…”

“Chloe.”

“Right, thanks.”

Chloe backs away, into the hallway. She catches one last look at Lincoln, standing there, defeated, before the door is shut in her face.

* * *

Chloe walks through the door of their apartment and is met with overwhelming quiet. She isn’t sure what she had been expecting. Her thoughts had been so overrun by Lincoln and her mother, that she hadn’t paid much attention to what could possibly be going on at home.

“Hello?”

“Hey Chlo,” Beca says, coming from the living room, “how did it go?”

She looks like she’s bracing herself. Chloe shrugs. Her own expression is flattened, defeated in a way that Beca has never seen.

“She didn’t even care.”

Beca isn’t sure what to say. She knows that Chloe can’t imagine a life where a mother would treat her daughter that way, because she never experienced it. She was loved and tended to and if she had ever tried to run away it would have been front page news in her little Georgian town. But Beca understands, better than most, what it’s like. She wraps Chloe in a hug and kisses her temple.

“Today really kicked our asses, didn’t it?” She finally asks.

Chloe lets out a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob.

“God, I can’t even believe any of it actually happened.”

They finally pull apart but Beca takes Chloe’s hand in her own. She runs her thumb over her knuckles. It bumps against her engagement ring and forces her to look down, quickly, before saying,

“If I said thank you a billion times it wouldn’t be enough for everything you do for us.”

Chloe is caught off guard by the quiet confession. She looks, deeply, into Beca’s eyes and smiles, her gentle, reassuring, Chloe Beale smile.

“You don’t ever need to thank me.”

“Of course I do. You’re more amazing than I deserve. You’re there every time I screw up, which is more often than not these days, and I just wish there was a way that I could make it up to you. You’ve taken everything that’s happened in the last year in stride and I honestly don’t know how you do it. Thank you for everything you did today, and everything you do every day.”

Chloe feels all of the emotions of the last few hours catch up to her at once. She lets the tears fall, for a few minutes, before pulling herself together. Beca holds her, rocking them gently back and forth.

“Today was a wake up call. I need to be better, for you, and for Lucy.”

“Should we go talk to her?”

“I don’t think we have much of a choice.” Beca says, dreading this conversation, and the others that are going to follow.

She hasn’t had to play the disciplinarian much with Lucy since she’s come to live with them. She’s been the shoulder to cry on. She’s been the dorky big sister, just like she always was; but now she needs to have a serious discussion with her and just the idea of it makes her stomach hurt. But she knows, with Chloe by her side, that what she said earlier is true. When they’re together, even the hardest things, will never be unbearable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come hang: www.lastchildofkrypton.tumblr.com
> 
> Chapter title from Take Me Home by Ingrid Michaelson.


	6. Every second chance just shows us how to get a little better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot it was Sunday and almost didn't update. oops. I hope you enjoy!

All Beca did, while waiting for Chloe to get home, is think about what she was going to say to her sister. Yet, she’s standing in front of her door, at an absolute loss. She hopes Lucy’s asleep. At least that way she’ll be able to put all of it off until tomorrow. She’s a coward. She knows that, and she’s a big enough person to admit it to herself.

Chloe nudges her forward and they walk into Lucy’s room, forgoing the knock. Lucy is sitting on her bed, a science textbook on her knees, Finch curled in a ball against her hip. She doesn’t look up at them when they come in and sit; Beca in the desk chair halfway across the room and Chloe on the very edge of the mattress.

It hasn’t felt this way between the three of them in a long time. It hasn’t felt this way since just after the accident. After a few weeks, it felt like Lucy had always been with them and even in the toughest moments their conversations seemed to flow. Beca has never felt such fierce loyalty like she does to her sister and Chloe. Sometimes, when she allows herself to think about it too long, it scares her. She knows there isn’t anything she wouldn’t do for the two of them. It scares her even more when she thinks about how it’s almost come to that, too many times, in just a few short months.

Lucy waits, with bated breath, for what is going to be said. She keeps her eyes down, focusing on the page of her biology chapter; she keeps her eyes trained on the word ‘genetics’. It starts to blur as tears glaze her eyes again.

“Lucy.”

Her name, her real name, coming from her sister’s lips feels strange. She’s always Scout, or Lou, or kid, but right now she’s Lucy. She messed up and Beca is angry. There’s no dancing around it.

“Can you look at me, please?”

Lucy closes her book and looks at Beca. She can’t bring herself to look into her eyes so she settles on a spot just over her shoulder.

“Look, it’s pretty clear that you know what you did was really, really bad.”

Lucy nods and swallows around the lump in her throat. Beca feels like she should yell at her, or at least be stern. But she can’t seem to even fake it. She crosses her arms over her chest and continues, in the same, even tone, as before.

“I can’t speak for Chloe, but you lost a lot of my trust today. I thought we were getting to a place where we could talk about what was bothering us. Instead, you just...”

Lucy braces herself for the tone in her sister’s voice to come, the tone that makes her stomach hurt but instead, when Beca continues, all she hears is guilt.

“I’m sorry. I know what happened today is my fault. I haven’t been doing what I need to. I’ve been focused on work and my own feelings; I’ve been selfish. I should have been focusing on you, both of you,” She says, looking over at Chloe for just a couple seconds, “and all of the stuff happening here.”

“You’re allowed to have your own life, Beca.” Lucy says, quietly, unsure if she should speak at all.

“Not when it compromises our family. I need to work, and I have deadlines and big things that I need to do there, but I promise that I’m going to be better about being home and being here for you.”

Lucy finally looks into her sister’s eyes and she can see she means it.

“I’m really really sorry.” Lucy says.

“I know you are.”

Lucy looks over at Chloe for the first time. Beca always wears her anger and disappointment right there on her face, she can’t help it. Chloe is better at hiding hers. That scares Lucy.

“Chloe, I’m sorry.”

She doesn’t smile. Lucy was really hoping she would. It would make her heart hurt a little less. Instead, she reaches her arms out and takes her up in them. Lucy lets out a deep breath and squeezes. She feels Chloe drop a kiss on her head. She knows she’s hurt, she knows Chloe felt today just as deeply as she always does; that’s why this feels useless. There’s no amount of sorry’s Lucy could say that can take back what she did.

“Are you hungry?” Beca asks, after they separate.

“No.”

Even the thought of trying to eat something makes Lucy’s stomach churn. She sits back in her spot and picks up her textbook.

“I have a lot of homework to do though.”

“Alright, get to it. Don’t stay up too late.”

Lucy nods and picks back up where she left off in the chapter; not that much is sinking in. She wants to text Lincoln, to apologize, or, well she isn’t totally sure. She feels like she should say something but nothing feels adequate.

Beca closes the door behind her. She follows Chloe into the kitchen. She takes two beers from the refrigerator and hands one over.

“Thank you for saying all of that.” Chloe says, after a while of sitting in the quiet.

“I meant it. All of it. I haven’t been the person I used to be and I’m really sorry.”

“I don’t expect you to be.”

Beca takes a seat on one of the island stools and Chloe leans on the counter across from her.

“Beca, we couldn’t possibly be the people we were six months ago. It’d be stupid to even try.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Beca says, as if mourning her old life, “I guess that may be my problem. I was trying to live a life I thought I still wanted, while also trying to cram Lucy into it. I know now, that doesn’t make any sense.”

“No, it doesn’t. We just need to find our footing.”

Beca nods, it’s slow, like she’s taking in each syllable.

“I’m gonna call Thea tomorrow and see if she can get Lucy in early.”

As they sit, Chloe can practically hear the gears turning in Beca’s head. She reaches over and takes her hand in her own and squeezes.

“What are you thinking?”

“She got so angry. She was going to flea the state. She was that mad at me. We need to address that anger before she does something worse.”

“You’re right.”

Another quiet moment passes before Beca says, with tears in her voice,

“I’ve never been so scared in my entire life.”

“I know what you mean.”

Beca slumps forward against the counter and rests her chin in the palm of her hand.

“Do you think we made a mistake taking her here?”

“To New York?”

Beca nods, “Do you think the city is too much for her?”

“I don’t know what we would do otherwise. Our whole lives are in this city.”

“Our old lives.” Beca says, “Maybe this new life doesn’t make sense here.”

* * *

Lucy wakes up with a horrible stomach ache. She wraps her arms around her torso and groans. Finch makes a little yelp from inside his crate so she goes over and takes him out, cuddling him in her lap.

“You wanna go to school in my place today?”

She sighs and kisses his head before putting him on the bed so she can get dressed. Her uniform shirt feels scratchy against her skin and her pants feel like they don’t quite fit. She knows that it isn’t true, these exact clothes fit her perfectly two days ago. She feels the same disjointed and uncomfortable feelings of discontent return from the day before; except this time, they are all her own doing.

She doesn’t want to leave her bedroom, but she knows she has to. She has to go to school and face Lincoln, not to mention the big math test she has. She groans and looks around for her backpack that she tossed aside last night. It’s sitting next to the pile of the extra clothes she was going to take to Georgia with her. She gives a look of disgust before she kicks it over.

In the light of day, after a night of restless sleep, she’s embarrassed that she even tried it. And after a few hours of thought, she’s certain she has no idea how to make it right.

* * *

Beca wakes up to a beam of sunlight in her left eye. In her, half asleep, drowsy state, she swats at it before realizing what’s causing her discomfort. She squeezes both eyes shut before rolling over and opening them again. She isn’t surprised that Chloe isn’t in bed next to her; she felt her tossing and turning all night.

She gets up and walks to the other end of the apartment. Chloe is standing in front of one of the large windows in the living room, staring out over the street below; already busy with cars and people starting their days. Her shoulders are wrapped in her favorite knit blanket while her hands hold on to a mug of steaming coffee. Beca walks quietly up behind and wraps her arms around her waist, letting her chin rest on Chloe’s shoulder.

“Good morning.” Chloe says, her voice is flat but still, somehow, full of warmth.

“Hi baby, couldn’t sleep?”

“No, not really.”

Beca kisses her shoulder and rubs her back. She’s always been empathetic, allowing the feelings of others to make their way into her soul in a way that Beca will never be able to understand.

“I’m sorry. I know things have been…”

She isn’t sure where to go with that sentence. She isn’t so sure there is any way to encompass in words the events of the past six months.

“Yeah, I’m just trying really hard not to be mad at her.” Chloe says, through a near whisper.

“I know what you mean.”

Chloe turns and looks into Beca’s eyes, like she doesn’t quite believe her. When, whatever it is, that she sees there reassures her, she nods.

“She’s so young. She’s been through so much, I don’t know what we were expecting.” Chloe says.

“Me either, but it definitely wasn’t all of this. God, I wish that Sheila and my dad were here.”

“Did you give any more thought about what we talked about?”

“About Georgia?”

Chloe nods and follows Beca to the kitchen.

“A little, I just don’t know.”

“We have time to make a decision. I know you have a lot on your plate.”

“I know, but I’ll think on it. But for now, I have to get ready for work.”

Chloe watches her walk back down the hallway. She knew, from pretty much the moment they met, that Beca plays her cards close to her chest. She thinks deep and long and logically. Lucy is a lot like her in that respect; except when she isn’t. She knows that when Beca needs to make a decision it needs to come from her, without pressure or persuasion, and she meant what she said. There’s time. They have forever, all three of them, forever together to make their next move.

Lucy walks out into the kitchen, already dressed in her school uniform, with Finch in her arms. Chloe wonders how long it will be before he’s too big to be carried. By the size of him already, she assumes it won’t be too long.

“Good morning.” Lucy says, walking over to pour a glass of juice.

All of the complicated feelings that Chloe had been feeling, all night and early this morning, about Lucy and what she did, come back to her full force. They sit on her chest and make it hard to speak, or move, or breathe.

“Good morning.”

Lucy notes how those two words used to always be followed by ‘sweet girl’. She wonders if that will ever happen again. Her cheeks get hot and tears prick at her eyes. She wills herself to stop before she cries and lifts her cup up to her mouth. She runs her fingers through Finch’s fur, if only to have something else to focus on.

“Lucy, I’ll take you to school.” Beca says, coming back into the room, breaking the silence.

She pours herself a cup of coffee.

“I just need ten more minutes.”

She’s half dressed, in jeans and a tank top. Her hair is up on top of her head in a messy bun. Lucy isn’t sure she can stand ten more minutes in awkward, tense, silence with Chloe.

It’s never been this way with them. She first met Chloe when she was only three years old. Chloe has been a part of her life for as long as she can remember. Even before Chloe and Beca started dating, she would come around. She’s always been warm and kind and soft. But right now she’s distant, she’s different, and it’s all Lucy’s fault.

* * *

“Alright, Chloe and I have a meeting with a photographer this afternoon, but one, or both of us, will be here at 5 to get you from practice. You better be here too.”

Lucy looks up, and she thinks she sees the slightest bit of humor in Beca’s eyes, but she doesn’t even attempt a smile.

“Okay.”

“Hey,” Beca catches her arm before she walks away, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Lucy walks back and wraps her arms around Beca’s waist. She can feel her tense before fully relaxing into the hug and kissing her head.

She walks into the school lobby and stops right in the middle. She looks around for Lincoln. She wants to see her, more than anything, to explain herself, or apologize, or something, but she also isn’t so sure she can stand to look her in the eye today. She isn’t given much time to think on it before Lincoln appears next to her.

“So, do anything crazy lately?”

Lucy lets out a laugh. It’s quick, but loud, before she slaps a hand over her mouth. Lincoln wraps an arm around her shoulders and they walk down the hallway. Lucy wasn’t aware of how much tension she was holding there until it’s all released under Lincoln’s touch.

“I’m so sorry.” She says, once they get to her locker.

“Hey, don’t apologize to me.”

“No, I really need to. I could have gotten you in so much trouble, or worse. I’m really, really, sorry.”

Lincoln shrugs. It’s clear she doesn’t know what to say. She grips her backpack straps in her hands, so hard her knuckles go white.

“I’m just happy you’re feeling a little better today. Did Beca and Chloe totally freak out when you got home?”

“No, they just told me I ruined their trust.”

Lincoln can see the devastation that sentence causes her. She can see on her face, and throughout the rest of her body, that she is hurting, much worse than she even was yesterday. For Lincoln, Lucy Mitchell and heartache represent one another.

“Did Chloe say anything after she got home from my house last night?”

Lucy shakes her head, “No, Beca did all of the talking.”

Lincoln isn’t sure how to come out and ask what she’s dying to ask. She wants to know, and yet so badly doesn’t want to know, what Chloe thinks of her now; after meeting her mother, seeing where she lives, where she comes from. She isn’t sure why it matters so much to her. But just the thought that she may think she isn’t good enough to be friends with Lucy anymore makes her queasy.

“Are you okay?” Lincoln asks, noticing how Lucy is standing, hunched, with one hand pressed into her stomach.

“Yeah, I just have a stomach ache.”

“You probably gave yourself an ulcer.” Lincoln says, only half joking.

* * *

Beca walks into work, dreading the conversation that’s about to happen. She knows Matt is pissed and Anderson is probably disappointed after she bailed on their meeting yesterday. The more days that pass, the more she feels like she’s failing everyone around her.

She takes her seat in the conference room, surprised that Anderson isn’t already there. She takes out her laptop and waits for someone else to show up. Through the windows surrounding her, she can see Matt walk out of his office, with Anderson right on his heels. She should have figured he was here somewhere. They walk into the room and take their usual seats. It’s quiet, tense, for a moment before Matt speaks.

“Beca, we need to talk about yesterday.”

“I know. I’m so sorry. There was an emergency with my sister and I-”

Matt puts his hands up and she stops talking.

“I understand that there will be days that you can’t fully be here. That’s just what it’s like being a parent.”

Beca always forgets that Matt has kids of his own; two or three, she can’t remember.

“I get that you’re in a very unique and very difficult situation. But we need to figure out a way that your home life won’t interfere with your work life, like it did yesterday.”

“I agree.”

She looks over, quickly, at Anderson who has a sympathetic look on his face. She can tell he doesn’t want to be part of this conversation.

“I called Anderson in early today to talk about him taking on more of the production responsibilities so that you can focus on your songwriting.”

Beca’s stomach drops. She feels like she’s being punished, even if it’s being phrased like a helpful change.

“But I love producing.”

“I know you do, and hopefully as things settle, you’ll be able to get back to it. But for now, you’re a contracted artist, we need you to produce content or else there will be real problems. And that’s coming from higher up than me.”

Beca raises her eyebrows and fights, with everything she has, the urge to roll her eyes. Matt never wants to be the bad guy.

“Right.”

Her heart beats, harder than ever, against her chest, vibrating in her rib cage and spine. She wants to scream, or argue, or something; but she can’t lose this job.

“I know you want it all, Beca. But sometimes that’s just not possible.” He says, getting up from his chair and leaving the room.

As the door shuts, she hits her hand against the table.

“Damn it.”

“Beca, I’m so sorry, this was not my idea. I didn’t know he was going to do this.”

“No,” She says, shaking her head, turning her tone back to a more settled one, “I know. This is very clearly Matt’s handiwork. He never wanted me as a producer, he just wanted my songs.”

“I’m sure once Theo finds out about this he’s going to fight him on it.”

“There’s not much he can do. Matt’s his boss too.”

Beca sits back in the chair and crosses her arms over her chest.

“This really sucks.”

“What are you going to do?”

She shrugs, “Suck it up and write some music, I guess.”

“But that’s not what you want.”

“You heard, Matt. We can’t always get what we want. Besides, maybe it’s for the best. After all, I promised Lucy and Chloe I would be around more and now I get to do that.”

Beca packs her stuff back up in her bag and stands.

“Tell Matt I’m leaving.”

“You are?”

“Mhm, I have to go write.” She says with harsh sarcasm.

Anderson watches her leave, dumbfounded. He always thought things came so easily for her. But over the past several months he’s realized she’s just good at hiding what’s bothering her. He realizes now that she is not at all what she seems and he wants to help her get what she wants, what she deserves, even if she won’t ask him for help.

* * *

Beca walks into the apartment, slamming the door behind her. Chloe’s head lifts up and she looks shocked. She closes her laptop and rises from the couch. Beca walks, quickly, over to her and wraps her arms around her. She kisses her hard.

“Bec, what’s going on?”

Beca doesn’t answer, she just moves her lips down to Chloe’s jaw. She squeezes her arms, tighter around Chloe’s waist.

“Beca.”

She looks up into Chloe’s eyes, with her own fierce ones. She shakes her head and intertwines their fingers.

“Can we talk later?”

Chloe wants to say no. She wants to ask questions, but something in the look on Beca’s face, pushes that all aside and she nods, before kissing her again. She can feel a million emotions radiating off of Beca, pushing her forward and pulling her back at the same time.

“Bedroom.” Beca says, her voice turning raspy.

“Mhm.”

* * *

Lucy has begun to feel even worse as the day goes on. During lunch she couldn’t eat anything and now she can’t seem to focus on the math test in front of her. She has one arm wrapped around her stomach while the other one grips the edge of the desk. She writes down a few answers, without caring if they’re right before bringing her paper up to the teacher’s desk.

“Done already?” She asks.

“Yes, may I please use the bathroom?”

Her teacher seems to notice something is off because she nods, without another word, giving Lucy a concerned look.

Lucy rushes down the hallway and into the nearest girl’s bathroom. Her stomach hurts worse when she’s standing so she sits as quickly as possible. Her back is starting to hurt and she feels almost nauseous.

“Okay, stop, you’re fine.” She says to herself, before realizing that there might be someone else in there.

She ducks her head down and doesn’t see feet in any of the other stalls. When she picks her head back up she notices a splotch of red in her underwear. It shocks her at first, the sight of blood always makes her queasy. Then the dread, the knowledge of what is happening, sets in and pushes the initial shock aside. She grimaces, fighting back tears, as she pulls a long piece of toilet paper off the roll. She folds it and hopes that it’s good enough to last until she gets home.

* * *

Beca walks out into the living room after her shower. Chloe is back on her computer, hair still wet from her own shower. She looks up over the screen and gives Beca a cocky smirk.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” Chloe says, feigning innocence.

“You’re ridiculous.”

Beca falls down into the space next to her.

“Are you finally going to tell me what’s going on?”

Beca looks down at her hands, intertwined once again with Chloe’s.

“Matt basically demoted me today.”

“What? What are you talking about?” Chloe says, suddenly becoming very defensive.

“He wants me to focus on my songwriting, this new EP, and take a step back from producing.”

“Bec, I would hardly call that a demotion.”

“But he’s taking away the part of the job I love the most. Since I was sixteen, producing is all I’ve wanted to do.”

“But you loved making your last album.”

Beca sighs and pushes her hair behind her ears.

“Yeah, writing is great, but this all just kind of feels like a punishment for doing the right thing.”

“The right thing being taking care of Lucy?”

Beca nods, she feels guilty for even thinking that.

“Baby, I know this feels like a step back, But this could lead to other things. Whose to say what could come of this.”

“I know. And I would be able to work from home more, spend more time with you.”

“With all of this talk of a new life and figuring out how it all works, this could be a good change.”

“And if it’s not?”

Chloe pauses, chewing on her lower lip for a moment.

“Then we make another change.”

Beca leans forward and presses her forehead to Chloe’s, locking their eyes again. She hasn’t felt this connected to her in a long time.

“Thank you, I feel like you’re always saving me from myself.”

“I have gotten very good at it.”

“What are you working on?” Beca asks, gesturing to the laptop, almost left forgotten, pushed aside on the couch.

“Finding a stupid venue. I have no idea what we should do.”

Beca thinks for a moment.

“What if we did it at Barden?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, they have events there all the time. The scenery is gorgeous, your family is already in Georgia. It all seems kind of perfect.”

“It does, doesn’t it?”

“Not to mention it’s where we met, it’s where Lucy grew up. It makes sense that it starts this new chapter too.”

Chloe smiles, the sparkle back in her eyes, and Beca feels like she can breathe, deep, full, breaths again. They share one last kiss before Beca’s phone buzzes on the coffee table. Lucy’s face flashes on the screen.

“Hi Scout, what’s going on?”

“Can you come get me?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” She pauses, “um, band was cancelled today.”

Beca looks over at the clock on the wall. She hadn’t realized it was already three.

“Yeah, I’ll be right there. Wait inside for me.”

She hangs up the phone and gets up from the couch.

“What’s going on?”

“Lucy said band was cancelled but she sounded weird. I’m gonna go grab her. I’ll be right back.”

* * *

Lucy is sitting on one of the benches in the lobby of the school. She is hoping no one from band sees her and tells Mr. Sweeney that she’s skipping. She just couldn’t bare the thought of waiting any longer to get home. Her stomach ache has gotten even worse, and it’s starting to hurt her back, and she feels like she’s getting a headache.

“Scout, hey, you ready?”

“Mhm.”

She gets up and feels something shift, she feels gross. She knows she’s walking weird. She also knows Beca has picked up on it immediately.

“You okay?”

“Mhm.”

Beca walks with her, in silence, all the way home. She’s afraid to say much to her, after yesterday, emotions are still running very high.

Once they get to the apartment, Lucy rushes down the hallway, into her bathroom. Beca watches after her.

“Everything okay?”

“I don’t know.”

* * *

After about twenty minutes, Lucy still hasn’t come out of the bathroom. Beca knocks on the door.

“Lucy, are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Her voice sounds the way it did on the phone and it makes Beca’s stomach coil tight.

“Are you sick?”

“No.”

Chloe walks up behind Beca. They look at each other, confused.

“Can you open the door, please?”

“No.”

“Lucy.”

“Beca, just leave me alone.”

Something about the tone in Lucy's voice pulls at Chloe's heart. She places her hand on Beca’s lower back, to wordlessly say, she’ll try.

“We just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine.”

“Come on, sweet girl, open the door, please.”

After another minute, they can hear the lock click and the door opens, slowly, just enough to see Lucy’s face.

“What’s going on?” Beca asks.

Lucy holds up her pants, that now have a small stain on them.

“Oh.” Beca says, unsure of what she should say next. “Um...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this chapter is the beginning of some lighter stuff.. but we'll see, my brain always goes to the dark place.
> 
> Come hang: www.lastchildofkrytpon.tumblr.com
> 
> Chapter title from the song We're in the Together by OK Sweetheart


	7. Its time to grow up little wildflower, Just let it go, love (it’ll all be alright)

“Oh,” Beca says, unsure of what she should say next, “um…”

“Okay.” Chloe says, sounding much more sure of herself. “Hang on a second.”

Before Lucy or Beca can protest, she’s moving down the hall, into their bedroom. Lucy looks up at Beca, as the moment drags on. Beca knows she needs to say something, she just has no clue what that should be.

“We can probably get that stain out.”

Lucy looks at her, wide eyed before turning her attention down to the floor.

“I mean, um…”

“Alright, sweet girl. I brought you some comfy pants and some other supplies.” Chloe announces, coming back into the hallway.

  
She is holding an overwhelming amount of stuff. Beca wonders what half of it even is. She steps back, gladly, allowing Chloe to take lead on this situation. Her mouth is suddenly dry, taking in the look on her sister’s face.

“Can I come in?”

Lucy hesitates, for just a moment, before stepping aside and letting Chloe in. She leaves the door open, but Beca doesn’t follow. Instead, she settles for leaning against the wall just outside; arms crossed over her chest, biting on her lower lip.

“I didn’t know what to do.” Lucy’s voice is a near whisper. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. We’ll get you all situated, okay?”

Beca already knows the look Chloe has on her face; the look she has whenever she’s dealing with Lucy. It’s a quiet comforting patience. Despite the fact that Chloe is hurt by what Lucy did, despite the troubles they’re facing, she knows there will never be a time that Chloe will deal with Lucy with anything other than a gentle hand. She takes her time, walking Lucy through putting on a pad and then moves over to the sink to soak the pants in cold water.

Lucy is sitting on the closed toilet lid, holding her stomach. She doesn’t look up, or speak, or move. Beca pokes her head in after a few minutes of silence. She walks over and bends down in front of Lucy, resting her hands on her thighs. She taps her knee to make her look at her.

“Come on, let’s go to the couch.” Her voice is quiet, more relaxed now.

Lucy lays her head on Beca’s lap, once she’s sitting.

“What doesn’t feel good?” Beca asks, quietly.

Chloe watches the interaction. How, even when Beca doesn’t know what to do, she’s still somehow exactly what Lucy needs. The way Lucy grips the fabric of Beca’s sweater, and uses her eyes as much as she uses her words, shows the connection they share.

“My stomach and my back.”

Chloe already had the heating pad warming up, she places it gently on Lucy’s stomach. She covers her with the fluffy blanket from the back of the couch. Lucy has seen both of them in this same position, from time to time, but she never really thought about the fact that the time would come for her too.

“That should help.” Chloe says, the warmth is back in her voice.

Lucy already knew how much she missed it, but it still gives her chills. She closes her eyes, suddenly too tired to keep them open. The past two days of non-stop stress, drip off her shoulders. Beca’s fingers work their way through her hair, pulling her curls apart, until her breathing evens out and she’s asleep.

“Poor thing.” Chloe says, from her standing position.

Her arms are crossed over her chest, and her mouth is in a straight line, but Beca knows she really means it. She knows there is a lot of anger, lingering around yesterday’s events. She knows there’s a lot more talking to do and bigger feelings to deal with. But it’s the moments like these, the completely ordinary moments, that ground her. They remind her this is their life and there will always be a chaotic mix of both ordinary and extraordinary.

“She can’t catch a fucking break.”

“I mean, we all knew this was coming.”

“But did it really have to be today?”

Chloe leans over and kisses Lucy’s head.

“It could explain some of her reaction.”

“You sound like an old-timey doctor. Insanity caused by menstruation.”

“It could happen. You get pretty crazy when it’s your time of the month.”

Chloe smirks. Beca reaches out to try and swat her arm but she can’t reach her.

“I thought kids were supposed to get easier as they got older?”

“Whoever told you that is a big fat liar.”

Beca laughs, it’s breathy and soft, but it helps them both to relax.

“What do we do about this?”

Chloe chuckles, mostly out of pure helplessness, and shakes her head, “I have no idea.” She shrugs. “We just talk to her, I guess. Answer any questions she has.”

“God, I hope she doesn’t have questions.”

“Stop it.”

“No, I’m serious. I hope she sleeps until tomorrow morning and we can send her to school and let the nurse handle it.”

Chloe fights her hardest not to smile but Beca gives that stupid grin that she loves and she laughs.

“You’re terrible.”

Beca looks down at her sister.

“God, I just love her so much. I really don’t know if my heart can handle it.”

Chloe has heard Beca say ‘I love you’ to Lucy a million times but when she says it now, it holds something resembling disbelief, almost like she’s realizing that love for the first time. Chloe takes a seat next to Beca. She rests her head on her shoulder and intertwines their fingers.

“And she knows that.”

“Thank you for saying that.”

“It’s true.”

Beca rests her cheek on Chloe’s head. It feels like a million years ago that they last had a moment this still. Their days move so fast, and are filled with so much, that they all begin to blend together after a while. Beca is thankful that she’s able to slow it all down, right now, even if it only lasts five minutes.

* * *

Lucy sleeps much longer than either of them expect her too. They have their meeting with the potential photographer, and decide ultimately not to hire him, and make dinner, all in the time it takes for her to wake up.

She shuffles into the kitchen. Her eyes are squinting against the light and her hair is a wild mess on the back of her neck. She stifles a yawn and takes a seat at the table. They both can tell she is uncomfortable. Beca places two ibuprofen on the table next to her plate; which she takes without a single argument.

“Did you have a good nap?” Chloe asks, putting a bowl of broccoli in the center of the table.

Lucy nods. Beca already knows there are a million thoughts rushing around her head. Questions and concerns, and no matter how uncomfortable it may make her, she will sit at the table until they address them all.

Dinner is filled with idle chatter, about school and wedding planning. Lucy doesn’t eat much and Beca wonders if it’s because of her period or all of the stress she’s been under recently, or maybe both. She makes a mental note to make another appointment with Stacie.

“I’ll take your plate, baby.” Chloe says, taking Lucy’s plate to the sink.

Once she sits back down, the air shifts. Lucy knows what’s coming and it’s a conversation she was hoping to avoid. She’s embarrassed, even though she knows she shouldn’t be. She picks at her napkin, just to have something to focus on.

“Scout.” Beca says.

“Can we not make a big deal out of this, please?”

Beca puts her hands up in mock surrender, “Okay. But were you just not going to tell us, or?”

Lucy finally looks up, her eyes moving quickly between Beca and Chloe.

“I didn’t want to say anything, you guys are already mad at me. I didn’t want to make it worse.”

“We’re not mad at you.” Beca says.

Lucy looks up and gives her best ‘oh please’ look.

“Okay, we’re still pretty mad at you.”

“But we’re never so mad that you can’t come to us when you need us.” Chloe says.

Lucy finally lets a single tear drip down her cheek.

“What are you thinking, Lou?”

“Does this mean I’m not a kid anymore?”

“What?” Beca asks, genuinely confused.

“Getting your period is like a grown up thing, isn’t it? So can I not be a kid anymore?”

“Lucy, you’re twelve, you’re not going out tomorrow and starting a career and paying taxes. Even though, you probably could.”

Lucy’s expression stays sad and Beca moves over to the empty chair next to her.

“Listen, this is normal. It doesn’t change anything. It’s just something you’ll deal with every month now.”

“For the rest of my life?” This time her question is aimed at Chloe.

“Well, probably the next forty years or so.”

“Forty years?” Her eyes widen.

Both Chloe and Beca give a sympathetic look.

“I know, people with vaginas really get the short end of the stick.” Chloe says.

The use of the word ‘vagina’ makes Lucy’s cheeks blush, but she laughs when she notices Beca’s cheek turning the same shade.

“Are people gonna, like, know?”

Lucy’s features scrunch up and she wraps her arms around her stomach again, but it seems like its to comfort herself, rather than due to any pain she may be feeling.

“Not unless you tell them.” Beca says, “But I really want you to know, this isn’t anything to be embarrassed about. I promise.”

Lucy nods but it doesn’t convince either Beca or Chloe that she believes it.

“I wish my mom was here.”

Beca leans over and kisses her temple, before saying quietly, “Me too.”

She leans back and gives a gentle laugh.

“She would definitely be much better at all of this stuff than I am.”

“You’re doing better than you think.”

Lucy gives a smile, a half-smirk, much like their father’s and it calms Beca’s nerves. She hadn’t noticed how much adrenaline was coursing through her body, until it dissipated. She takes Lucy’s hand in her own and pulls her up from her chair, into a hug.

“I love you, kid.”

“Love you more.”

Chloe walks around the table and joins the hug.

“Chloe.” Lucy pretends to groan but can’t get it out fully before it’s overtaken by a giggle.

“What? I felt left out.”

* * *

“Beca?”

“Hm?”

Beca’s eyes barely open, when she hears her sister’s voice, breaking through her sleep. She can’t see anything through the dark but she can sense her close to the side of the bed.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s late.”

“No, it’s okay, what’s wrong?”

She sits up and flips on her bedside lamp. Lucy is standing even closer than she thought, with one arm wrapped around her torso, the other behind her back.

“Can I have some more medicine?”

“Uh, yeah. Are you crampy?”

“My back hurts really bad.” She says, almost breathless.

“Okay,” Beca climbs out of the bed, Lucy follows her into their bathroom. “Here take two of these.”

She hands her the medicine, then opens the cabinet under the sink to grab the heating pad.

“Let’s get you back to bed.”

Lucy follows her down the hall and climbs into her bed. She lays on her stomach so Beca can lay the heating pad on her lower back. She sighs, in nearly instant, relief. Beca runs her hand through Lucy’s hair. It’s become much darker with the lack of sun and she wonders if it will ever be as light as it was when she was in Georgia.

Georgia. She’s been thinking non-stop about the conversation she and Chloe had the other night. Her parents’ house is still there, sitting, vacant, like a shrine to their old life. Even though they can’t see it, they all know it’s still there. Empty.

_“We could go back to Georgia.”_

_“Like permanently?” Beca asks, with one lifted eyebrow, from her side of the bed._

_“Maybe, or for a while at least. It might help her.”_

_“Or it could make everything a whole lot worse.”_

_“But we won’t know if we don’t try it. And honestly, after the day we’ve had, I don’t know if things can get much worse.”_

_Chloe stops. She knows those words sting, she felt it as soon as they left her mouth._

_“That came out wrong. Beca, I’m not unhappy, I just-”_

_“No, I know. I know what you meant. It’s just, we left there because we thought the reminders would be too much, right?”_

_“Yeah, but it seems like the reminders just followed us here. There’s no possible solution where Daniel and Sheila aren’t all around us. So maybe being closer to them, instead of further away, might help.”_

_“I don’t know.”_

_Chloe takes Beca’s hand in her own and runs her thumb over her knuckles._

_“We don’t need to make any decisions tonight, or tomorrow, or even this week. It’s just something to think about, I guess.”_

_“Yeah, I guess.”_

Beca watches Lucy’s eyelids bounce open and closed, fighting sleep like she always does. She scratches at her scalp, and keeps her own breath even, to remind Lucy that in this moment, together, they are okay. No matter how many questions are in both of their heads, none of them need to be answered tonight.

* * *

Chloe pushes the door open to Lucy’s room and leans against the doorway to watch them sleep. Lucy is laying on her stomach with the heating pad, no longer warm, resting on her back. Beca has one hand behind her head and the other tucked under Lucy’s pillow.

She looks between both of their faces; sleep shielding them from the toughness of their world. She wonders if either of them are dreaming. She observes Lucy’s face, she thinks that she might look a little different today, but then again it might just be in her head. She loses herself to these thoughts for so long that she doesn’t notice Beca’s eyes blink open.

When she speaks, her voice is raspy, the way it only is in the morning.

“Hi beautiful.”

“Good morning,” Chloe says, moving over to sit on the edge of the bed so she can whisper, “is she okay?”

“She needed some medicine last night, apparently she gets backaches like I do. So I decided to come and sleep in here in case she needed me again.”

Chloe smiles, the cheeky way that Beca pretends to hate.

“What?”

“Nothing, I just…” She shakes her head slowly, “I love the way you are with her. I can’t wait to see you with a baby in your arms.”

Beca feels like her cheeks might blush again but she pushes it off because she can’t wait for that either. Despite the overabundance of anxiety that the thought of having a baby brings her, she imagines it can’t be any harder than what they’re already doing.

She pulls on Chloe’s shoulder to make her lay down in the space next to her. She rests her head in the crook of her neck and kisses the bare skin there, chastely, before saying,

“I can’t wait either.”

Chloe smiles, a beaming, bright, smile and grips Beca’s arm. She wants to laugh, when Beca pokes her side, but she doesn’t want to wake Lucy up. Beca’s hand comes to rest, flat, on Chloe’s stomach.

“I also can’t wait to see you pregnant.”

“Can you guys stop being gross in my bed, please?” Lucy asks, pushing herself up onto her elbows.

Almost all of her hair is out of its ponytail now, hanging in front of her eyes.

“It’s our house, we can be gross wherever we want.” Beca shoots back.

Lucy flops back onto the mattress, pushing her pillow aside and pressing her hands into her temples.

“How are you feeling this morning, sweet girl?”

“Kind of sick.”

Chloe climbs over Beca so she is next to Lucy. Lucy moves over and rests her cheek on Chloe’s chest, listening to her heartbeat.

“We’ll get you some medicine, and a cozy blanket, and maybe some chocolate chip pancakes, and you’ll be as good as new.”

“Mhm.”

She looks like she could go right back to sleep but she rubs the heel of her hand into her right eye and asks,

“Is it always going to feel like this?”

“In my experience every time is a little different.”

She rolls her eyes, “Great, I love surprises.”

Chloe laughs, openly, and it makes Beca and Lucy laugh as well.

“I’ll go get you some more medicine and start those pancakes.”

As soon as Beca is out of the room, Lucy sits up, bringing her knees to her chest. She hasn’t really known what to say to Chloe since the bus station. She’s had a hard time looking her in the eye and she knows that just because she’s being so nice to her right now, that doesn’t mean she isn’t still upset.

“Chloe?”

“Yeah?”

“I really am so sorry about the whole running away thing.”

“I know you are.”

Chloe moves to match Lucy’s body language.

“Let’s just try to move on.”

“I think we all know we can’t just forget about it. I messed up and I want you to know that I never want to do anything like that again. I want you and Beca to trust me again.”

Chloe nods, “Thank you. We want to trust you too, so just…”

Chloe thinks over all of the thoughts she had the morning after they found Lucy at the bus station; only yesterday, even if it feels much longer. She scans through the harsh words that she hadn’t wanted in her head, but found their way through anyway. She skims for the right thing to say, but she knows there are rarely any perfect words. So she settles for the closest she can get.

“So just keep trying to prove that to us. You’re a kid, you’re going to make mistakes and as your parents, or whatever it is we are to you now, we will be here to help you clean them up. So that’s what we have to do now, alright?”

Lucy feels a huge weight lift off of her shoulders.

“How do we clean this up?”

“Apologizing was a good first step. Did you talk to Lincoln?”

“Mhm, she wasn’t mad or anything. I still feel bad I tried to talk her into it.”

Chloe’s mind brings her back to the moment she stood in the doorway of Lincoln’s apartment. She wonders what she does on the weekends, where she goes, if she’s left alone, what she does for dinner. She grips the excess fabric of her sweatshirt in her fist and squeezes as tight as she can.

“I could have lost my only friend.”

“Trust me, Lincoln needs you just as much as you need her.”

“What does that mean?”

Chloe opens her mouth, unsure of what she should say, knowing it isn’t really her place to say much of anything. Thankfully, Beca interrupts, coming into the room with medicine and a glass of water.

“I want all of that water gone, Lou.” She says, before leaving the room again.

Lucy rolls her eyes, but she keeps a gentle smile on her lips, “She’s so annoying.”

“We’re annoying because we care.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Lucy takes the medicine and looks back up, sheepishly, “Thank you for caring about me.”

“It’s not hard, sweet girl.”

“Yeah, but still, thank you anyway.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so soft...? Anyway, Lucy and Chloe are good again and there is peace in my world. I hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> chapter title is from the song Little Wildflower by Andrew Simple
> 
> Come hang: www.lastchildofkrypton.tumblr.com


	8. My Valentine girl, you've got me dustin' my shoe

“It’s pretty crazy that Chloe was born on Valentine’s Day.”

Lucy’s voice is almost startling in their space; barely loud enough to bounce off of the far wall and settle somewhere in the middle of the two of them. It’s been so quiet for so long that Beca hadn’t expected it but she’s always glad to hear it.

“Yeah, but it makes sense for her, doesn’t it?”

Lucy giggles, “Totally.”

Beca looks back down at her notebook. She’s been trying to write lyrics for her newest song throughout the better part of the day; and more actively trying not to get frustrated at her overflowing lack of inspiration. Lucy sighs and writes another answer down on her math worksheet. It calms whatever bubbling anger that was about to surface.

The one upside to less producing, and behind-the-scenes work, is that she doesn’t need to go to the office much; except for creative team meetings, which she’s always enjoyed. Once she got over the initial hurt and anger that came with this new arrangement, she realized this is the best thing for all of them right now. She’s been able to spend more time with Chloe, which they both know was much needed.

She’s also been able to keep a closer eye on Lucy. Since the bus station incident, which is how she refers to it in her head, because saying the words “running away” still hurts her feelings too much, Lucy has been calmer; not necessarily happier, or peaceful, but her reactions haven’t felt so explosive. The thoughtfulness, that’s always accompanied her words is back while she’s been given time to process things. She’s been seeing Thea twice a week, which seems to be helping.

Beca will never be able to know what’s going on in Lucy’s head, and that’s something she is still struggling to accept. She’ll never be able to know every thought, or feeling, but being around her lately has seemed lighter; and she figures that’s a start.

“Where is Chloe anyway?”

“She has Bella today. I was thinking while she’s gone, you and I could work on some plans for her birthday.”

“Okay.” Lucy beams.

Beca will forever be grateful for the bond Lucy and Chloe have. It’s taken a while for Chloe to begin to move past the bus station incident too. It hurt her, deeply, but she couldn’t spend too much time being angry with Lucy. They understand that she’s endured a lot of trauma in a short time. She’s allowed to make some major league mistakes. But they decided, during one of their many, many, late night talks, that they are entitled to their own feelings too; these past few weeks have been about figuring out where to put them and how to deal with them.

“So her birthday is Friday, I figured we could maybe do dinner and go to that bakery she likes.”

“Could we do it Thursday or Saturday?” Lucy asks, shyly.

“Why, you got a big date or something?”

Lucy’s eyes widen, until she realizes that Beca is joking.

“Well, no, but there’s a Valentine’s Day dance at school and Lincoln and I were thinking, that maybe…”

“Say no more, you go to your dance. We’ll celebrate as a family on Saturday. Me and Chloe will do something just the two of us on Friday.”

Lucy scrunches her entire face up.

“You guys are going to be all gross and mushy all night, aren’t you?”

“Mhm.”

“Yuck.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

Beca nudges her with her knee which makes her laugh.

“So, about this dance, are you going to have a date?”

“Ew, no way. Just me and Lincoln.”

Beca thinks back to the conversation she and Chloe had, a few weeks ago, about whether or not there could be something there between the two of them. It makes her stomach coil, tight, and forces her to clench her jaw. She doesn’t like thinking about the fact that one day Lucy will date. One day, she’ll open her heart up like she never has before, and as a result, will be hurt in, yet another way, she never has before.

“I don’t want to date anybody.”

It’s a quiet confession. Something about it makes Beca’s stomach flutter. She and Lucy don’t typically have conversations like this. She usually goes to Chloe for these things. Beca always feels out of her depth, but one look at her sister’s face and she knows she has to say something.

“And that’s okay, Scout. You’re so young, you might change your mind.”

Lucy nods.

“But hey,” Beca waits for her to look up, “even if you don’t, that’s okay, too. I don’t ever want you to think that you’re weird, or different, or I don’t know, for feeling that way. It’s a decision only you can make. It has to be what makes you happy; not me, not your friends, just you.”

Lucy stays still this time. Beca can tell she heard her, but isn’t fully convinced that it sank in. She feels that coil, tightening, again. She wonders if this is all parenting is: a series of events that make you freak out, until it passes, or turns into a bigger worry. She isn’t so sure her blood pressure can take much more of it, but for Lucy, she would suffer every minute of the rest of her life, if it meant she could be happy.

Lucy moves closer to Beca. She cranes her neck to look over her shoulder at the few lines she’s managed to get written down.

“What do you think?”

Lucy shrugs.

“That good, huh?”

“It’s just very serious.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Beca asks, genuinely wondering.

“No, but sometimes music just needs to be fun.”

She doesn’t wait for an answer. She closes her textbook and walks toward her bedroom. Finch’s nails tap on the floor as he trots along behind her. Beca bites her lower lip and lets her head fall back against the couch cushions. She isn’t sure she knows what fun is anymore.

* * *

“Hello?” Stacie calls out, as soon as the door to her apartment is open.

Chloe is laying on the floor with Bella, playing with some of her toys.

“Hey, how was work?”

“Crazy. How was she?” Stacie asks.

She sits down in front of her daughter, who looks up with a bright smile on her face, and claps her hands a couple times.

“Mama!”

“Hi baby.”

She scoops her up and kisses her face all over. Chloe feels the same old familiar ache in her gut.

“She was good. I couldn’t get her to eat much though.”

“Yeah, she’s staging her own little hunger strike lately.” Stacie takes her eyes off of her baby and looks into Chloe’s. “How are you doing?”

Chloe purses her lips and shrugs.

“I’m pretty good actually.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“Why don’t you tell that to your face?”

Chloe giggles and stands up. She stretches her back before sitting, more comfortably, on the couch.

“No, I am. It’s just the typical worry.”

“The mom worry.” Stacie says, knowingly.

“I don’t know that I would call it that.”

“Why not? That’s what it is, isn’t it? You’re worried about Lucy, how could you not be?”

“But I’m not her mom. I’m not even related to her.”

Stacie knows this is a thought that is almost constantly in the back of Chloe’s mind. This isn’t the first time they’ve talked about it. It won’t be the last either.

“You and Beca are the closest thing she’ll ever have to a mom ever again. I think that counts for something, don’t you? And blood relation doesn’t mean jack shit and you know it. Look at Beca and her mom and then look at Beca and Sheila. Sheila was ten times the mother to Beca than that other woman ever could be; not that she would ever try.”

“I know. It’s just still so strange.”

“I can only imagine. But the fact that you’re there every day, you’re trying with her… that makes you a mom in my book. So all that worry you’re feeling, it’s natural; you have to protect your little girl.”

Stacie kisses the top of Bella’s head. Chloe swallows around the lump in her throat.

“I’ve just never felt this way before. What do you do with all of it?”

“All of what?”

“It.” Chloe chuckles, “The worry and the hurt and the anger.”

Stacie puts Bella down and takes the seat next to Chloe. She rests one of her hands on Chloe’s knee and speaks in the most serious tone that Chloe has ever heard her use.

“You let it out in little ways, away from them, in the healthiest ways possible. Then you use what’s left to fuel you. You use the intensity to help you keep going; to do whatever it is you have to do to make sure they’re doing okay.”

“That sounds hard.”

“It’s fucking exhausting. But as far as I can tell there’s nothing more important.”

* * *

Lincoln walks into her apartment; the small one bedroom that she shares with her mother. It stinks of cigarettes and the curtains are still drawn, making it look more like a vampire’s crypt than a home. She drops her bag by the door and grabs the bright pink post-it that’s been stuck to the refrigerator.

‘I’ll be late. Make yourself dinner.’

That’s all it says and Lincoln has to chastise herself for expecting there to be anything more. She crumples it up and tosses it into the overfilled garbage can. She pulls out the bag of goldfish crackers, they’re stale but it’s something for now. She sits at the counter to do her homework. A text makes her phone screen light up. She glances at it quickly but pauses her work when she reads Lucy’s name.

‘Facetime tonight?’

Lincoln’s heart flutters, with the words, but the thing that gets her is the small emoji at the end. She answers but continues to stare at the bright smile for another few minutes.

‘For sure.’

‘Can’t wait.’

At least Lucy is always happy to talk to her. She had almost forgotten what that was like.

* * *

Chloe closes the door to the apartment behind her and drops her stuff on the small bench. She’s met with music. It took a week or so to get used to; having Beca home, having music playing almost constantly, like it was before the accident. There is a sense of levity in their home again.

A few clumsy piano notes bounce around the room, followed by a boisterous laugh from Lucy. Chloe leans against the wall, out of sight, so she can listen to whatever comes next.

“Like that?” Beca asks, through her own laughter.

“Yeah, but make it bouncy.”

“I don’t know what that means, Lou.”

There’s some shuffling before a floating, syncopated, melody fills the room. Followed by a little voice,

“ _Here is where you put the words_

_once you make them up._

_If you ever do or you might just give up._

_Lyrics are hard,_

_but it will be worth the work_

_when you make a million dollars_

_and we own half of New York.”_

Once it’s done, Beca’s voice comes in again, loud.

“Well, shit, why don’t you just write my songs for me?”

“Fine, but I’ll need a writing credit and 70 percent of the profits.”

“My people will call your people.”

Chloe peeks her head into the room. Beca and Lucy are sitting on the piano bench. Lucy’s hands are still resting on the keys and Beca is holding her notebook, pen poised above the paper.

“Hi Chlo.”

“Hi sweet girl, what’s going on?”

Beca stands to give her a kiss and wrap her up in her arms.

“Lucy is helping me work on some new music.”

“Oh yeah, anything good?”

“Mhm, yeah, I think we’ve got some gems in the works.”

Chloe smiles and runs her hands through Lucy’s hair, which is getting way too long.

“That’s great.”

Lucy tilts her head back to look up at Chloe standing behind her. She gives a gentle smile.

“Is your homework done?”

“Mhm.”  
“Do you want me to check it?”

“Yes please. I’ll go grab it.”

She hops up and out of the room. Chloe turns to look at Beca. She’s noticed lately that Beca looks more like she did before the accident. She’s more at ease, the dark circles are fading from under her eyes and her shoulders now sit at a normal height instead of up by her ears. She isn’t sure if it’s her own mind playing tricks on her, or if it’s actually true; she hopes it’s the second one.

“How was your day with Bella?”

“Oh, you know, the usual rousing debates and stimulating conversation.”

“Of course.”

“I did have a nice talk with Stacie though.”

“Really?”

Beca follows Chloe to the kitchen.

“About what?” Beca asks, fully prepared to drop it if Chloe doesn’t want to share.

“Lucy, I guess, kind of. And just…”

“Everything.”

“Yeah.”

Chloe leans forward on the counter, bringing her face closer to Beca’s; allowing them to speak more quietly.

“Did you give any more thought to what I said the other night?” Beca asks, not as ready to let this go when it’s deflected.

“I haven’t had time.”  
“Chloe.”

“No, I know, I know. It’s just… scary.”

“I know.” Beca grips Chloe’s hands in her own. “But I think therapy would be good for you. Lucy and I both go, right? It’s intimidating at first, but once you start it’ll be like you’ve been going forever. I think you’ll feel a lot better.”

A single tear drips down Chloe’s cheek.

“I just never thought I would be that kind of person.”  
“What kind of person is that?”

Chloe pauses. She isn’t mulling over her word choice, she knows the answer. Beca can tell.

“The kind of person that needs help.”

“Everyone needs a little help sometimes, baby.”

“I know. But the step between needing it, and actually asking for it, is a very big one.”

Beca moves around the island and wraps Chloe in her arms. She can feel the desperate grip on the back of her shirt and it makes her feel sick. She doesn’t know how to sit back and watch while the woman she loves struggles. Despite everything that has happened over the past year, she hasn’t gotten any better at being helpless.

“Is everything okay?” Lucy asks, walking into the room with her backpack slung over one shoulder.

Chloe turns, quickly, to wipe under her eyes. Beca keeps one arm wrapped around her waist, the other goes up to her necklace. She fiddles with it between her fingers.

“Uh yeah, everything’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. Clearly it’s not.”

“It is, really. We were just talking.”

Lucy plants herself in her spot and crosses her arms over her chest. When Chloe turns back around, she looks like her normal self; even if her mascara is smudged and her cheeks are a little more blushed than before.

“Can I ask you something?”

Lucy nods, nervous. Chloe and Beca take a seat at the table and Lucy follows. She sits across from Chloe and clasps her hands in front of her.

“Do you think going to Thea is helping you?”

“Yes.”

It’s sure, quick, confident.

“Why?”

“Because Beca thinks… because I think I need to go see someone like you do and I’m just having a bit of a hard time getting myself there.”

“You were the one who told me there’s nothing to be embarrassed about, remember?”

Chloe nods.

“I think you need to take your own advice. Because if there’s anyone who deserves to be helped, and deserves to be happy, it’s you.”

Chloe melts. Her shoulders drop and her lips move from a sharp line to a quivering half-smile.

“Thank you, sweet girl.”

* * *

“I’m surprised that you even like Valentine’s Day.” Lucy says.

She’s sitting across from Lincoln at their usual lunch table, the next day.

“I don’t. The only holiday I like is Halloween.”

At the mere mention of the holiday, Lucy stiffens. Lincoln picks up on what she said and bites her lower lip.

“Sorry.”

Lucy waves her off. They never really talked about what happened on Halloween; Lucy wonders if they ever will. She picks at her sandwich, suddenly not very hungry.

“Then why do you want to go to the dance?”

“Because I can tell that you want to go.”

Lucy looks up at her, always a little shocked when things like this leave Lincoln’s mouth. She notices everything, she’s intuitive and kind, but rarely shows it outwardly, at least around other people. So when thoughts like this appear in spaces so public, it always throws Lucy for a loop; it makes her stomach fill with butterflies and forces a smile.

“Well, I don’t know if I do. I’ve never been to a school dance before.”

“Let me paint a picture for you then,” Lincoln starts. Lucy’s smile grows more prominent on her face. “all of the girls that don’t like the rest of the girls will stand in the corner and giggle. All the boys that put on too much body spray and hair gel will stand in the other corner. Someone will dare someone else to ask for a dance. They’ll think it’s a fast song but it will turn into a slow song, and then everyone will die of embarrassment.”

“Well, when you put it like that, how could we say no?”

Lincoln shrugs and pops a grape into her mouth. She fiddles with the zipper on the bright pink lunchbox, the lunchbox that very clearly does not belong to Lincoln. It’s an unspoken thing, that Chloe makes a lunch for her every day. She sticks the extra lunchbox next to Lucy’s backpack before they leave in the morning. Lucy puts it in Lincoln’s locker before second bell. It’s not mentioned, even once; the lunchbox is always in Lucy’s locker before she leaves for the day.

“But if you still want to go, we should.”

“Thea says I should start expanding my social circles.”

“What, I’m not good enough for her?”

Lucy laughs, a breathy giggle, “I don’t know. I think Chloe’s worried that I don’t talk to many people either. Beca gets it though.”

“Yeah, she doesn’t strike me as a social butterfly.”

It’s still strange, having someone at her school that knows her sister on a more personal level. Someone that’s interacted with her, that’s stayed in the same house as her. She think she likes it, because Lincoln never uses the celebrity sister thing against her. She never makes a big deal of it, or asks prying questions; it’s comforting. A lot about Lincoln brings her comfort.

“If we go to the dance you have to wear red or pink. Is that too festive for you?”

“We _have_ to?”

Lucy nods, drinking her water, “It’s the rules. It’s on all of the flyers.”

“And we wouldn’t want to break the rules.”

Lincoln rolls her eyes, but Lucy can tell it’s all for show.

“You want to stay over after?” Lucy asks, shyness returning to her tone.

She’s been trying to play it cool but has been making up as many excuses as possible for Lincoln to spend time at their house. After the comment Chloe made the day after the “bus station incident”, she just wants to make sure that she’s okay. Lincoln wants to say, no, she doesn’t want Lucy to grow sick of her. Then the thought of the bright pink post-it, stuck to the bathroom mirror this morning, pops into her head.

‘Gone for the weekend. Get pizza.’

She looks down at the lunchbox and zips it closed before saying,

“Sure. That sounds good.”

“Cool.”

The bell rings, meaning they need to go their separate ways.

“I’ll see you later, Peach.”

“Yeah, see you later.”

* * *

Their week goes by as quickly as all the others. Between Lucy’s school and band practice, Beca’s writing sessions, and Chloe’s babysitting, it feels as though they’ve barely seen each other. Chloe remembers much of her own childhood moving along this way. She knows it’s natural, that it’s good; it means they’re progressing. But part of her still mourns the months where they were huddled together inside their secluded little bubble.

Their bedroom door creaks open, on Friday morning. Lucy’s face peeks in, still cloaked in sleep. Chloe smiles, and opens her arms for Lucy to climb into them.

“Happy birthday.” She says, quietly, to not wake Beca.

It’s still early; much too early to get up and get ready for the day, but Lucy woke from a nightmare almost an hour ago and figured Chloe would probably be awake by now.

“Thank you.”

“Do you feel any older?”

“No,” Chloe giggles, “thank goodness.”

Another calm quiet, lands on them like a blanket. It’s warm and comforting. Lucy sighs and lets her head fall, fully, onto Chloe’s shoulder.

“Are you excited for your dance tonight?”

“I think so.”

“You’re not sure?”

Lucy shrugs, “I’m a little nervous.”

“I get that. But I think you’re going to have a really good time, and if you don’t, you can always leave. You can call us anytime and we’ll come get you.”

Lucy closes her eyes, tight, and swallows around the lump in her throat. It’s been happening less and less, but every once in a while, something Chloe says pulls on her heart. It sounds too much like her mom. Whether it’s a near echo of something her mom used to say, or it’s something she can picture her mom saying now that she’s a little older, in those moments, the air is knocked out of her. She’s left speechless until she can regulate her heart. She nods, so Chloe doesn’t try to look down at her face. She doesn’t want her to know.

“Do you know what you’re going to wear?”

“Not yet, will you help me?”

“Of course. I’m going to need some help picking out an outfit too, even though Beca won’t tell me what we’re doing tonight.”

“Of course she won’t. She’s annoying.”

Beca rolls over and opens one eye. It’s apparent that she’s been awake, listening to them.

“I resent that.”

“Mhm.” Chloe and Lucy respond at once.

Beca pushes herself up and leans over Lucy to kiss Chloe.

“Good morning, birthday girl.”

“Gross. Bye.”

Lucy rolls out of the bed and walks out of the room.

“I think she’s starting to get embarrassed by us.” Chloe says.

“You think?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come hang: www.lastchildofkrypton.tumblr.com
> 
> Chapter title is from Valentine Girl by Sam Burchfield


	9. But my darlin' I'm dancing with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I am finally back with an update. Thank you all for being so kind and so patient. If you've stuck with this story thank you so so so much. 
> 
> I feel very out of practice writing this story again. This chapter has a lot to do with Lincoln. I hope you enjoy!

“Do you think it’s too fancy?”

Lucy stands from her spot and smooths her dress out. It’s a beautiful maroon one with lace sleeves, that hits just above the knee. Chloe helped her pick it out, with the precursor that she would wear tights under it.

“I think it’s just the right amount of fancy.” Chloe says, through a slight giggle.

“I don’t look ugly?”

“Not possible, babe.” Chloe says, pulling up one side of Lucy’s hair with bobby pins.

The rest of it falls down her back, in near perfect ringlet curls and Chloe wonders how someone can get so lucky with hair like that.

“You look beautiful.”

“I don’t know why I even care. It’s just a stupid dance.”

Beca scoffs. She’s laying across the foot of the bed, watching Chloe fuss over every detail of Lucy’s appearance.

“You’re gonna have fun, Lou. I promise.”

“Lincoln says if it sucks that we can just go get ice cream instead.”

“It’s twenty-five degrees outside, but I guess you could do that.”

“It’s never too cold for ice cream.”

“Alright, finishing touch.” Chloe says, spritzing her with perfume.

They can both feel the nervous energy flowing off of Lucy while she observes herself, again, in the mirror.

“Hey,” Beca says, to get her attention, “it’s just a stupid dance, right?”

Lucy smirks and nods her head, sending her curls bouncing up and down on her shoulders. Suddenly, her eyes widen and her mouth falls open just a little bit.

“Oh my God.”

“What’s the matter?”

“I don’t know how to dance.”

Beca falls into a fit of laughter and Chloe makes a sound that is mostly sympathetic but is mixed with her own little giggle.

“Dancing is easy.” Beca says, with a sense of ease that makes it seem like she does it daily.

“Oh yeah?” Chloe asks, with a hand on her hip, “Have a lot of experience, do you?”

“All the Bellas choreography. I was pretty good at that.”

“Eh.” Chloe says.

She leaves the room, followed closely by Lucy and Beca, who is only slightly offended. She walks over to the wall where Beca’s record player sits, tucked in among her hundreds of records; mostly hand-me-downs, collected over the years. She skims through until she finds something suitable. The opening notes of a song Lucy’s never heard before play out of the speaker and bounces off of the walls, filling the space around them.

Chloe reaches her hands out and Beca takes them in her own. They pull each other in close and move, so in sync, that it reminds Lucy of their morning routine. They don’t bump each other, there’s no words exchanged, just a familiar closeness.

“It’s all about feeling the rhythm. Just find the beat and let your body do the rest.” Chloe says.

“Well, I don’t think I’ll be dancing with anyone like that.”

She scrunches up her nose and crosses her arms over her chest. Beca spins Chloe away from her and reaches out for Lucy, pulling her to her chest and swaying as the song changes to a more upbeat one.

“Trust me, Scout. You are not going to be the only one there that can’t dance.”

“That doesn’t make me feel much better.”

She rests her cheek on Beca’s shoulder for a minute and she feels her grip tighten around her; reassurance, she assumes. It helps.

Before anyone can say anything else there’s a loud knock on the door.

“That’s gotta be Lincoln. I’ll get it.”

Lucy practically runs to the door. As she’s been told to do a million times, she checks the peephole, before opening the door. Lincoln is standing there. She looks less than enthused to be there; until she looks up and sees Lucy’s dress.

“Hey Peach, wow, um, you look….” She gives a noncommittal gesture, before adding, “really nice.”

“Oh, thanks.”

Lucy can tell something is off. Lincoln isn’t looking her in the eye. She has her arms crossed over her chest now and her mouth falls into a straight line, instead of in its usual smirk; the one she has whenever she’s around Lucy.

Lucy moves aside to let her inside and watches while she takes her jacket off. She notes that it’s definitely not warm enough to classify as a winter coat. Underneath she’s wearing a t-shirt and her jeans have holes in them, like all of her pairs do. Once inside, under the light, Lucy can tell she’s freezing. Her cheeks are red, almost raw from the wind, and her hair has little flecks of snow all over.

She looks behind her for help from Chloe or Beca but they’ve both disappeared. She isn’t sure what to say so she settles for a timid,

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

She turns and looks into Lucy’s eyes and it’s like a switch has been flipped. She smiles and her eyes brighten, just barely.

“Are you excited for your first dance?”

She’s deflecting. That’s a word Lucy learned from Thea. It’s been used enough times during her counseling sessions to know that it’s something she does when she doesn’t want to talk about what’s bothering her. So she drops it. For now.

“Well, I don’t know if we can go now.”

  
“What? Why?”

If Lucy had actually been paying close attention, she may have noticed that there is concern in Lincoln’s voice. Concern, on the edge of disappointment. Instead, she smiles, her own cocky smirk and says,

“You’re not wearing pink.”

Lincoln shoves her shoulder, “You’re a jerk. You scared me.”

“So you really do want to go.”

Lucy points it out, as a joke, unknowing just how true they are.

“Let me go see if Chloe or Beca have anything you can wear.”

“Nothing pink. Red I can do.”

“On it.” Lucy says, with one definitive nod.

She disappears behind Chloe and Beca’s bedroom door. Lincoln takes a seat at the kitchen island. She’s always amazed by how quiet it can get in this apartment. Despite the fact that she lives in the same city, it might as well be on the other side of the world. It’s no secret that she lives a very different life than her friends and classmates. She’s watched them with their loving families, and their affluence, mostly without jealousy her whole life.

But she’s never been welcomed into it the way she has been with the Mitchells. When she thinks about it too much she gets a terrified feeling in her gut that one day it will all be ripped from her; one day her friendship with Lucy might be severed the way it was with Poppy and Matteo. It’s a thought too painful to bear. So for as much as she loves the quiet solitude their apartment offers, right now it’s making her stomach ache.

“Hey kid, it’s cold out there, huh?”

Beca walks into the room. It startles Lincoln but she does her best to brush it off. It’s a welcome distraction for all the thoughts swirling around in her brain.

“What? Oh, uh, yeah.”

“Something to warm you up?” She asks, holding up a hot cocoa packet.

“Sure.”

She watches Beca grab two mugs and fill the teapot with water. Silence fills the space once again. Lincoln wonders what’s taking Lucy so long. She’s also a little thankful for a few extra minutes to wipe the sadness from her expression; the sadness she knows Beca can see as clear as day; and she’s sure Lucy can too.

“Did you have a good day at school?” Beca asks.

“Mhm.”

“That’s good.”

Lincoln likes Beca. She appreciates that she gives them their space to hang out when she comes over, but that she’s never too far away. She’s talented, she’s heard her music, a lot, and she genuinely enjoys it. She knows just how successful she is and yet she never flaunts it, or even mentions it. She loves Chloe’s kindness, and her maternal energy, but there’s something about Beca that puts Lincoln a little more at ease.

Beca places the steaming mug of hot chocolate down in front of her and another at the empty stool next to her for Lucy.

“Uh, Beca?”

“Yeah?”

When Beca’s eyes meet hers she almost loses all of her courage to ask her question, but Beca gives a little smirk that matches Lucy’s perfectly and the anxiousness in her stomach dissipates.

“Um, so you said that the next time my mom was out of town that I should let you know. And I know I’m already staying over tonight but-”

“Say no more. Stay as long as you need.”

Lincoln had expected hesitation. She had expected this to be an imposition because even though Beca offered the last time, most grownups don’t actually mean what they say; at least that’s how it’s always been in her experience. She smiles, and lets her shoulders fall back down away from her ears.

“Alright, take your pick.” Lucy says, her voice startling Lincoln out of her thoughts.

“Oh, um,” She seems to think it over, even though both of the shirts Lucy is holding look almost identical, “that one I guess.”

Lucy tosses it at her.

“Good pick.” Beca says, “That one’s mine. Just don’t ruin it or you’ll be doing my chores to pay me back.”

Lucy laughs, her melodic giggle fills the space around Lincoln and makes her feel more at ease. She joins in with her own, more reserved, chuckle. Life just seems easier here. She’s thankful to be here, even for a few days. She could use a little easy.

* * *

Beca takes Chloe’s hand in her own as they walk down the street. Lucy and Lincoln have just walked into the school and they have the next few hours to themselves; a rarity these days.

“Are you ready for your birthday surprise?”

“I already told you that you didn’t need to go out of your way to plan anything.”

“That’s nonsense and you know it.”

“You hate birthdays.”

“I hate my birthday. But you love your birthday, so that means I love your birthday, therefore you get a surprise.”

Chloe can’t stop the smile that overtakes her whole face; her eyes squint and she lets out a breathy chuckle. It still astounds her that someone could love her the way Beca does. She’s amazed that Beca Mitchell, the most talented and giving person she’s ever known, chooses her; everyday, every minute, she chooses her and they get to live this life together.

“So what is this surprise?”

“I can’t tell you that would ruin it. I think you’re going to like it though. I hope you are. Do you trust me?”

“More than anything.”

“Alright then, let’s go.”

* * *

“You ready?” Lincoln asks, as they stand in the hallway.

Lucy looks around, there are a few other kids making their way to the gym, talking quietly among their friends. The school looks weird at night. The lights seem brighter and the air feels cold. She pulls her jacket tighter around her shoulders and nods. She doesn’t know what to expect and that always makes her nervous.

Lincoln takes her hand and pulls her toward the doors. The music is loud. The bass thumps through the speakers and reverberates in Lucy’s chest. She looks around at all the kids, she’s surprised so many actually showed up. She notices how weird it is to see them in something other than their school uniforms. There has been such a distinct separation between school and home until this moment and she isn’t sure how to feel about it.

“You okay?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, it’s a little loud.”

“Let me know if you want to go, okay?”

Lucy nods and backs up a little further until she bumps against the wall. Lincoln settles next to her, leaning back, looking much more comfortable in this space. After a while of watching their classmates, Lucy turns and says, loud enough to barely be heard over the music,

“Thanks for coming with me.”

“Of course.”

* * *

“Remember this place?” Beca asks, gesturing to a tiny run down bar.

“How could I forget it?”

Beca pushes the door open and leads Chloe inside. Chloe expects to hear the murmur of people talking, or glasses clinking, or music crackling through the speakers that desperately need to be replaced. Instead, there’s silence. She looks over to Beca who simply smiles and asks,

“You ready?”

Chloe nods and takes her hand and follows her into the bar. The only other person in the room is a bartender, cleaning a glass. The dark and dingy space has been transformed with twinkling lights and a small table set with dinner plates and wine glasses.

“I know it’s not the most glamorous of places but I was hoping the nostalgia would win me some brownie points.”

Beca helps Chloe out of her coat and pulls her chair out for her.

“This is awesome. God, how many nights did we spend in this place when we first moved here?”

“Too many. There was something about it,” She shakes her head, slowly, as she moves back in her memories of when they first found this place, “something about it reminded me of Georgia. Is that weird?”

“Not at all. I feel the same. And with all this talk of going back to Georgia, it’s pretty fitting that we’re here right now.”

“Let’s not talk about that tonight. Tonight is about you and how amazing you are; no messy stuff.”

Chloe nods, feeling a weight slip off of her shoulders. They don’t get to put down the weight often, but when they are able to, it’s freeing. She knows that birthday celebrations are arbitrary and tomorrow they will be in the same exact spot as they are today but for right now, she is willing to let it all go and be in this moment with the woman she loves.

“How do you think the girls are doing at their dance?” Chloe asks, taking a sip of her wine that the bartender has just poured.

“I have no clue,” Beca lets out another chuckle and Chloe thinks that it’s been a while since she’s seen Beca in such a relaxed state, “I’m having a really hard time picturing my sister at a school dance.”

“My sweet girl,” Chloe can’t help but giggle too, “I hope she’s having fun.”

* * *

“You want a drink or something?” Lincoln asks, gesturing toward the punch bowl.

They’ve migrated from their spot on the wall to a corner of the bleachers.

“Oh yeah.”

Lucy moves to get up but Lincoln stops her with another wave of her hand.

“I’ll go get it. Be right back.”

Lincoln walks over and pours two cups of punch. It looks questionable to say the least and she wonders if anyone has had the balls to try to spike it yet. She sniffs it and figures it’s safe. She decides to skip the food because she doesn’t trust the hygiene practices of her peers. Before she can turn back, Weston Dillinger is in front of her, on the other side of the table.

“Hey Lincoln.”

“Oh hey, Wes.”

“How’s it going? I don’t usually see you at things like this.”

“Yeah, new year, new me, or whatever.” She awkwardly holds the paper cups in front of her, “I should probably…”

“Listen, um,” He steps around the table to keep her in her spot, “this might be a little weird, or random, or I don’t know, but do you want to dance with me?”

Lincoln freezes. Poppy and Matteo used to give her a hard time about his crush on her. It always made her feel weird. She looks over to where Lucy is sitting, but she’s preoccupied now with some of her friends from band. She realizes quickly there are very few ways out of this conversation.

“Well, I’m here with Lucy.”

He looks over his shoulder and turns back around, his same sickly sweet smile plastered on his face.

“She seems busy. I don’t think she’d notice if you were gone for one dance.”

She looks between Weston and Lucy, silently willing Lucy to look up at her and come to her rescue. She doesn’t get her wish. So she settles for a timid,

“Sure, let’s dance.”

She follows, reluctantly, behind him through the groups of people. She’s thankful it’s an upbeat song. No part of her wants to touch him; he’s sweaty already and it’s like his dad’s cheap cologne is seeping from his pores. She watches as he makes his way to the center of the dance floor. She sways next to him while he flails his limbs in several directions, seemingly at the same time.

* * *

“You’re a horrible dancer.” Chloe says, her laugh getting louder with the more drinks she has in her.

“I’m not that bad.” Beca says, twirling Chloe and nearly smacking herself in the face. “I think the problem is you think you’re much better than you are.”

“Oh really?”

“Mhm.”

Beca smiles and pulls Chloe into her chest. They sway, gently, back and forth, as the song changes to a slow one.

“Thank you for tonight. It was perfect.”

“You’re welcome. Is there anything else on your birthday bucket list that you’d like to accomplish before the night is over?”

Chloe seems to mull this over. Her eyes are glazed, the way they always are after a few glasses of wine. The smell of the alcohol mixes with her perfume and it intoxicates Beca in its own way. She’s enamored with Chloe, the way she’s been since they met. But it’s especially consuming on nights like tonight.

“Honestly? Ever since Lucy mentioned ice cream that’s all I’ve thought about.”

It’s Beca’s turn to let out a hearty laugh. She nods and declares, a little too loudly,

“Then that’s what we’ll do.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely. Let’s go.”

* * *

The song turns slow. Lincoln feels her heart rate quicken and all of her blood rushes to her cheeks. She isn’t sure why. She’s normally outspoken and forceful; or at least that’s what all the grownups in her life have told her. But with Weston she feels small, just like she does with her mom. It’s the way she’s been feeling more and more often lately.

He reaches toward her and places his hands on her hips. She’s taller than him, by only a couple inches, and he tries to make eye contact with her. She keeps her own eyes moving. Surely by now Lucy must be looking for her.

“Are you having fun?” He asks, like he’s embarrassed.

Lincoln doesn’t respond. Weston isn’t the worst guy she could be dancing with, he’s funny when he wants to be, and arguably good looking, but she doesn’t want to be dancing with him.

“Lincoln?”

“What? Oh, um, I should probably go.”

She pulls away from him and his hands drop by his sides. He looks defeated. She feels guilty. She thinks, for just a few seconds, about dancing with him again but she knows what she wants/ She wants to have fun with her friend. She doesn’t want to dance with this boy. She wants to do what she came here to do.

“Look, Wes, it’s not that I don’t think you’re nice or cool or whatever, I just… I came here with Lucy and I should get back to her.”

“Right, yeah, I get it.” He rubs the back of his neck, straining to talk over the music. “Do you wanna maybe hang out sometime though?”

She shrugs, “Maybe.”

Another small smile takes over his face and she rushes away from him.

“What was that about?” Lucy asks, when Lincoln rejoins her.

“Nothing. Can we go?”

One look at Lincoln’s expression and Lucy doesn’t think twice before picking up their coats and leading her out of the gym.

They’re enveloped in the quiet of the lobby and Lucy can feel Lincoln, standing a little closer than usual, as she texts Beca.

“They should be here soon.”

“Okay.”

“Are you alright? Did he, like, try something?”

“Wes?”

Lucy nods. She remembers Lincoln mentioning something about him when they first met, but it was so long ago that she can’t remember what it was. She’s seen him around and it’s been made known that he has a crush on Lincoln; and made even more well known that she doesn’t return the feeling. At least it’s known to Lucy.

“He’s nice. I just… I don’t like him like that.”

Lucy nods. Lincoln takes a deep breath but she knows if she doesn’t say this next part now, she may never say it.

“I don’t think I could ever like any boy like that.”

There’s a pause. She feels the entire world stop turning. She’s never said those words, or any like them, out loud before. She isn’t even sure she actually said them out loud until Lucy’s head turns, slowly, toward her. Before she can register what’s happening, she’s wrapped up in Lucy’s arms.

She lets out a deep exhale and wraps her arms around Lucy, returning the hug. Lucy gives one reassuring squeeze before letting go and looking into her eyes. She doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t have to.

Lincoln knows she knows. She understands. She’s glad she knows.

“Oh, they’re here. Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all had a happy and safe new year! And welcome back to the shit show. 
> 
> Come hang: www.lastchildofkrypton.tumblr.com


	10. Spent the sunshine thinking of you, come watch the day burn out with me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had the day off today so I figured I would get this up. Hope you enjoy. The middle of this chapter gets a little steamy. Nothing crazy but just wanted to give a little heads up.

Once they step inside, Lucy rushes to her bedroom to change out of her dress. When she first saw it, she fell in love with the lace. But, after only a few hours of wearing it, she has a newly found hatred for it, and the chafe marks it’s left on her underarms.

Lincoln lingers near the kitchen. She isn’t sure if she should follow Lucy. She didn’t ask her to, so she stands near the island with her arms crossed over her chest. She watches Beca pour a glass of water for Chloe. She watches the way she ensures that she drinks it and the way she takes Chloe’s necklace off when she complains it’s pinching her. It’s all done for her with so much love. She wishes that she could live in this moment always; in it’s easy to miss loveliness.

She’s wished for a life like this since she can remember. She feels guilty, like everyone can hear her thoughts, or like if they were to take a closer look at her face, they would know exactly what she is thinking. That would be embarrassing, but also, she thinks, it might be nice for someone else to know about this wish; then maybe one day it could come true.

“Lincoln?”

“Oh, uh, sorry. What?”

“You alright? You seem kind of far away.” Beca says, keeping a firm grip around Chloe’s waist.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just tired I guess.”

“I’m sure. I hear those middle school dances can get pretty out of control.”

It’s dripping with sarcasm. Lincoln smirks. There’s something in Beca’s stare, something about the way she’s looking at her, that seems so genuine; seems like she really wants to know what’s going on. It makes her want to bare her soul. But she catches herself before she lets any more secrets slip from her increasingly loose lips. She isn’t sure what it is about this family that makes her feel this way. She wonders if hanging around them is truly in the best interest of her independent reputation.

“I, uh, I’m gonna go and find Lucy.”

“Alright, kid, have a good sleep.” Beca says, watching her go, wishing she could get her to open up; she can see the longing behind her eyes, she recognizes it deep in her bones.

“We’re right down the hall if you need anything.” Chloe says.

It’s kind. It’s almost an afterthought; she knows that’s because it’s what she says to Lucy every night. She’s positive her mother has never said anything like that to her before. She pushes that thought aside and opens the door to Lucy’s bedroom. Lucy has Finch in her arms. Shes rocking him back and forth like a baby, nuzzling him into her cheek.

“Sorry, am I interrupting something?” Lincoln asks, “I can come back.” Her own smirk overtakes her face now.

“Shut up.”

Lucy puts Finch down on the bed. That’s when Lincoln realizes that she’s still in her dress. Lucy gives him one more scratch under his chin before she turns to change into her pajamas. Lincoln sits on the bed and focuses on Finch, now laying down to expose his belly. She keeps her eyes down and tries not to pay any attention to the sudden heat on her cheeks.

“I’m sorry your first dance was such a bust.” Lincoln stutters out, running her fingers through Finch’s thick fur.

“What do you mean? It was fine.”

Lucy turns around, now dressed in her pajamas. The flannel pants hang loose around her ankles making her look even shorter than she actually is and the Barden University t-shirt has definitely seen better days.

“I mean, we didn’t do any actual dancing and then Wes kind of took me away from you and I-”

“Don’t worry about that. I know why you danced with him.”

“You do?”

Lincoln quirks her eyebrow and looks up at her finally. She isn’t sure that Lucy knows what she’s talking about. After all, if Lincoln isn’t one hundred percent sure why she danced with him, how could Lucy know?

“It’s the way it looks.”

“What does that mean?”

Lucy shrugs, “I think that you agreed to dance with him because it’s easier than saying no and having to explain yourself. Because we both know that Wes wouldn’t take a simple ‘no’ as an answer.”

Lucy says this with a distaste that Lincoln’s only seen a few times. She lets out her own little chuckle and shakes her head.

“He’s nice.”

“He’s abhorrent.”

Lincoln lets her shoulders sag. Lucy takes a seat next to her, placing Finch in her lap.

“And I get it.”

“Why do I feel a but coming?”

She knows there’s more Lucy wants to say; there’s always more.

“I know why you wouldn’t want him to know. And I know why you wouldn’t want, like, all the other people at our school, to know. But, I hope you also get that it’s nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.”

“No offense, Lucy, but that’s easy for you to say. You don’t know what it’s like. I mean, you live with…” She trails off, unsure if she should finish that sentence, or how she even would.

“Lesbians?”

“I mean, yeah. But, they’re also two of the most open minded people I’ve ever met. They would except you no matter who you chose to be.”

“Even I know that this isn’t a choice.”

“That’s not what I mean. And that doesn’t mean other people know that.”

There’s another pause.

“Other people like your mom?”

Lincoln turns her head aside and shrugs. She sniffles, to get rid of the tingling in her nose that means tears could form any second. The expression on her face stays the same but when Lucy’s hand lands on her forearm it falters, just barely.

“Can we drop it? I’m really tired.”  
“Yeah, of course.”

Lincoln disappears into Lucy’s bathroom and comes back in her own pajamas. This is only the second time she’s slept over, the last time she had borrowed sweatpants to sleep in. Lucy isn’t sure why but she feels strange seeing Lincoln in her pajamas. They’re just sweatpants, matched with a t-shirt that’s so faded Lucy can barely make out the Rangers hockey team logo on the front. Still, it feels like an invasion of privacy somehow.

“You look cute in your jammies.”

She jokes. She hopes it will help to break some of the residual tension.

  
“Shut it.” Lincoln shoots back but then turns with a sheepish, “Thank you.”

“The guest bed is all made up for you.”

“Um, is it okay, like I don’t know if you want me to, but-”

Lucy lets out a breathy giggle.

“Get in the bed, loser.”

Lincoln gives a relieved sigh as she lays down in the bed. Lucy’s bed is the softest one she’s ever been in; not that she’s been in many. But it’s about a thousand steps up from the futon she sleeps on every night. It’s soft and warm and wraps around her the way that Lucy, herself, has. She closes her eyes for a moment before she pulls the duvet up to her chin.

She watches while Lucy lays Finch down in his crate. She kisses his head three times and scratches under his chin. It’s gentle, and practiced. Something about it makes Lincoln’s heart hurt.

“Hey, um, can I ask you something?” Lincoln asks.

She hadn’t dared to before but she finds her voice again once the lights are off and they are both laying on their own side of the bed.

  
“Sure.”

“It’s, like, really personal. Is that okay?”

Lucy lets out a giggle, “Tonight kind of seems like the night for that. What is it?”

“Do you still miss your parents?” Even though it’s the exact question she had in her head, it still seems to shock her, “Of course you do, I just mean, like, do you miss them as much as you did when they first died?”

It’s silent. Lincoln sits in it as she notes the sound of her breathing and her own heartbeat, quickening, in her chest. She wishes she could take it back. There’s not a single movement, no ruffling of sheets, or deep intake of breath. She squeezes her eyes shut as she feels all the heat from her body rush to her cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“No, it’s okay. It’s okay.”

She can hear in Lucy’s tone that she means it. The mattress moves and it jostles her. Suddenly, she can feel Lucy’s breath on the side of her face; she’s laying on her side, facing her now. Lincoln keeps her spot; on her back, staring up at the ceiling.

“I think I do. I’m pretty sure I always will. But I think the big difference now is that I just think about it all a little less. Like, when they first died they were all I could think about. Them dying was the only thing anyone ever wanted to talk about with me. Everyone was afraid that I was going to break; and most of the time I felt like I was going to. But now, it’s just… different.”

The room falls flat until Lucy’s raspy, tired, voice asks,

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I was just thinking, I kind of wish I got to meet them.”

“Me too. You would have liked them.”

“Do you think they would have liked me?”

“Totally.”

There’s not a second thought before her answer; no hesitation or question. Lincoln smiles now, a bright, full, smile because she knows Lucy can’t see it.

Beca knows she shouldn’t be listening. But when she heard Lucy’s giggle through the door, she couldn’t help herself. Hearing her sister talk like this; so grown up, with a sense of healing, it makes her feel lighter. It’s the moments like these, that are coming closer together now, that makes her feel like she hasn’t been doing as badly as she thinks she has.

She walks down the hallway, into her bedroom. Chloe is laying in the bed, sipping the water that Beca has demanded she drink.

“Are they alright?”

It isn’t until now, looking at Chloe, that she feels the affect of the alcohol in her own system. She feels floaty and happy; so happy that she can’t wipe the dopey grin off her face when she climbs into the bed.

“Yeah, they’re going to sleep.”

Chloe scrunches up her nose.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s just, that’s kind of lame. It’s only, like, ten o’clock.”

“They’re twelve. What do you want them to do, throw a kegger in our living room?”

“I don’t know,” Chloe says, flopping down onto her back, “it’s a sleepover. Shouldn’t they stay up all night watching movies and eating junk food?”

“I prefer this option. And don’t you go putting any ideas in their heads. I prefer to keep them lame.”

Beca lays down next to Chloe and runs her fingers up and down her arm. The same solitude from earlier comes over them and settles around them. It’s quiet and calm and neither of them have anywhere else they’d rather be.

Chloe seems to be sobering, or leveling out, in that same happy, floaty, space as Beca. She rolls onto her side and rests her hand on Beca’s hip. Their foreheads rest against each other before Chloe closes that small distance and kisses her. It’s gentle at first, but quickly grows deeper, needier. Beca pulls back and locks her eyes onto Chloe’s.

“Baby, I don’t-”

“They’re going to sleep. Lock the door, it’ll be okay.”

Beca had been almost squeamish about sex as soon as Lucy moved in. She was hyper-aware of every creak and sound outside their door every time; despite the fact that their door is always locked, despite the fact that Lucy is always asleep. Eventually she got more comfortable with the idea, decided that they needed to be close with one another. The nervousness subsided enough that she started to initiate it again but now there’s two kids right down the hall that could hear them.

But the thought that it’s been too long, every signal from her body telling her she wants and needs this, makes her get off the bed and lock the door. When she turns back around, Chloe is already undressed, laying on the bed. The same look of desire that overtakes her features every time they’re intimate is placed on her face and Beca’s knees almost buckle.

“God, you’re beautiful.”

Chloe giggles and reaches her hand out. Beca rushes back to the bed and takes it in her own. She moves it to her mouth so she can kiss her knuckles before placing it back on the bed. She straddles Chloe’s waist and kisses her neck.

“Take your pants off.”

Beca chuckles, it’s breathless and a little out of place, but something about the sentence makes her laugh. One more look at the seriousness of Chloe’s face and she does as she’s told. Beca is about to resume her position but is taken by surprise when Chloe flips them both over so she’s hovering over Beca.

She leans down and kisses the dip in between Beca’s collar bones. Now that she’s laying still, Beca’s attention is brought more presently to her ragged breath. She hadn’t realized how worked up she had gotten in just a few minutes; she definitely needs this more than she thought she did.

“Thank you for my birthday surprise.” Chloe whispers, before lowering herself down between Beca’s legs.

Beca pushes herself up on her elbows but Chloe reaches one hand up toward her shoulder to push her back down.

“You take such good care of us. So let me take care of you now. Lay back.”

Beca is about to protest. She’s about to say that Chloe is the one always taking care of her. She’s about to say that it’s her birthday and she deserves to be taken care of. But as soon as her head falls back against the pillow every coherent thought disappears.

As soon as her head is rested on the pillow, her eyes close. She squeezes them shut and takes a deep breath, keeping it in her chest for a moment before letting it out slowly. Each touch feels like a matchstick striking on her skin. She’s overtly aware of where each fingertip is pressed into her calf and where the stray pieces of Chloe’s hair tickle her thigh.

“Chlo.”

“That’s it. I’ve got you.” Chloe whispers, once she feels Beca’s muscles relax.

Chloe leaves open mouthed kisses on Beca’s thighs. She works her way up one leg and down the other. It can’t be more than a minute or two but to Beca, with her entire body thrumming, pumping adrenaline in a way it hasn’t in a while, it feels like an eternity.

“Baby, don’t tease.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Chloe says, in a playful tone that sends a shiver down Beca’s spine, “I thought you wanted to take it slow.”  
“Why the hell would I want to do that?”

This time, a louder laugh, maybe a little too loud, escapes Chloe’s mouth. The heat of her breath combines with Beca’s own heat. She throws her head back, again, against the pillow. She grips the sheet in her fist and does her best not to be too loud when Chloe’s mouth finally finds the spot she needs it to. She thinks she hears something on the other side of the door but she’s too far gone to care. The rest of the night falls into a blur of gasping breath and words of love whispered in one another’s ears.

* * *

When Beca wakes the next morning to a sunbeam hitting her directly in the eye, a chill settles around her bare shoulders. She reaches around the nightstand, blindly, for her phone to check the time. It’s early, barely eight o’clock, but today is a busy one so she forces herself up and into the shower.

Her mind wanders back to the night before as she washes her hair. Her shampoo covered fingers tangle where Chloe’s had been just a few hours before and she smiles. She spends a little extra time than normal under the warm spray. She lets her eyes slip closed to rest for just a few more minutes; she didn’t sleep long, or particularly well, but part of her is getting used to the lack of sleep.

“Oh, good morning.” She says, startled to see someone else awake.

Lincoln is sitting at the kitchen island in front of a few textbooks, writing quickly in her notebook. Beca notes how neat her handwriting is and the number of subject dividers, neatly labeled, in the binder that sits next to her.

“Good morning.” Lincoln replies after finishing a sentence.

“What’s all this?”

“Just some homework. I like to get it done early that way I don’t have to worry about it later.”

“Maybe you can instill that in Lucy. She likes to make it a Sunday night problem.”

Lincoln chuckles, “I know. But she’s so smart she probably gets it done really fast.”

“From what I’ve been told you’re quite the smarty pants yourself.”

Beca focuses on making coffee but catches Lincoln’s shrug out of the corner of her eye.

“I kind of have to be.”

“What does that mean?”

Lincoln pauses. She isn’t sure she should be saying this, her mom has told her that if word got out about her, she would be the laughing stock of the school; her social life would be over, not that she has much of a social life to begin with. She decides that she can trust Beca, and Lucy already knows, so she says,

“I’m at Vanderbilt on a full scholarship. Otherwise, there’s no way I would be there.”

Beca nods, slowly, but seems ultimately unfazed, “I see. That’s pretty impressive.”

That’s not the reaction she was expecting. Out of all the things her mother had warned her people would say, how they would react, impressed was never one of them.

“Not sure many people would agree with you.”

“Yeah, but other people are stupid.”

Lincoln’s head shoots up and her eyes meet Beca’s. There’s a sense of playfulness in them, and a gentle smirk on her face. She gives her own smile; the tight lipped kind that makes her dimples show.

“Are you hungry?”

Lincoln is thankful for the change in subject. She nods and looks back down to her textbook to finish the chapter.

* * *

“What’s this surprise?”

“So impatient.” Beca says, clicking her tongue, while she leads Chloe down the street.

They’ve just finished lunch and are on their way back home. Lucy and Lincoln follow closely behind. They both know the surprise but have been sworn to secrecy by threat of no FaceTime for a month.

“You know I don’t do well with surprises.”

“What are you talking about? You love surprises.”

Chloe gives an exaggerated eye roll in the girls’ direction which makes them laugh as they enter the building and walk toward the elevator.

“I don’t know how I’ve never noticed how impatient you are.” Beca jokes. “Good to know.”

Chloe shoves her, but pulls her back quickly, by the waist to press a kiss to her cheek.

“You better be nice to me or I’ll take the surprise back.”

“That would be a little difficult to manage.”

Lucy chimes in, which only adds to the mystery of what they have planned.

Something is different from the second they step inside their apartment. Chloe can feel it. She looks around and everything seems to be in place but she knows there’s something she should be seeing. She knows it because she has three sets of expectant eyes on her. She turns with her hands on her hips and says, with a tilt of her head,

“I don’t get it.”

Beca snorts. Lucy covers her mouth and Lincoln does her best not to look incredibly awkward. Chloe turns back around and there are two more sets of eyes staring at her.

“Oh my God. What are you doing here?”

“We figured you only turn twenty-nine once.” Aubrey says, pulling Chloe into a hug.

“I’m just here for the puppy.” Emily jokes, before she’s pulled into a tight embrace.

Chloe looks back to Beca and Lucy.

“You did this for me?”

Lucy shrugs, “I wish there was more we could do.”

“Unfortunately, we couldn’t get every Bella to the city but CR will be here, and Jess and Ashley. Stacie will be here later.”

“A mini reunion.” Emily says, pulling Lucy into her side.

“And tonight,” Aubrey starts, with a raised eyebrow, “tonight we party.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come hang: www.lastchildofkrypton.tumblr.com


	11. But they ain't got you. Baby, I have it. And I have you too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for being so patient. I hope you enjoy this next chapter. :)

The record release was the last time the Bellas got together. As they’ve gotten older it’s gotten harder to get a majority of them in one place. They have families and real jobs and other obligations to attend to but every once in a while, there’s an occasion, that allows them to drop all responsibility and find each other again. Chloe, more so than the others, is the Bella that any of them would do anything for. She’s the kindest, the most gentle. She’s always been the one to push aside her own life to care for all of them. So her birthday has always been cause for a large celebration, but this year more than any other, demanded it.

The apartment has been transformed into a party; with more food than they could possibly eat, decorations everywhere visible, and music playing over the speaker system that Beca ensured covers every inch of the house.

Chloe pulls Aubrey down the hall to the bedroom so she can change into something more appropriate for a party; Beca rolls her eyes and follows along. Emily turns back to the girls and smiles.

“Come here.”

She pulls Lucy into a tight hug and kisses the top of her head. Seeing Emily is always like taking a really deep breath. She’s one of Lucy’s favorite people in the world. She’s missed her, even though they talk every week on the phone and FaceTime regularly, it isn’t the same.

“Em, this is my friend, Lincoln.”  
  


“I’ve heard a lot about you.” Emily says, with her easy smile.

“Same.”  
  


“You guys are really okay with hanging out with a bunch of old people all night?”  
  


“They’re old, not you.” Lucy says.  
  


“Fair enough.”

Soon, their friends start to arrive and their home that, over the past few months, has felt cold, and stiff, and lonely too often, has life pumping through it.

“Hey Chlo.”

Chloe turns to a voice that she wasn’t expecting to hear tonight. Fletcher is standing there, with Zara on his arm.

“Hi, you’re here!” She all but shouts.

She pulls him into a hug. She gently gives Zara a hug and looks down at her stomach, a little bigger than it was the last time she saw her.

“How’s my niece or nephew?”  
  


“Growing by the minute.” Zara says, her free hand goes to her back.  
  


“Oh, gosh, let’s go sit. Can I get you anything? We have water or tea or-”  
  


“No, I’m okay. Thank you. Happy birthday by the way.”  
  


“Thanks. I’m happy you could make it.”

And she means it. She wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to get past the lingering resentment, and unexplained hurt she was feeling before but, at the sight of her baby brother so happy, she knows there’s no reason to live in those feelings.

Lucy and Lincoln sit on the island stools, watching everyone.

“Who’s that?” Lincoln asks, barely heard over all of the noise.

It’s loud, it always is when the Bellas get together, but it strangely gives Lucy peace.

“Chloe’s brother, Fletcher, and his girlfriend, Zara.”  
  


“Oh. And who’s that?”

“Jessica and Ashley. Wait, that one’s Jessica and the other is Ashley. I think.”

“And who’s that?”  
  


“Anderson, he works with my sister.”

Lincoln settles for a nod this time.

Lucy looks around and settles on her sister and Chloe. The smiles on their faces make her feel easy, they make her smile too, although not as wide. Her heart beats at a normal pace for what feels like the first time in forever. She doesn’t pick at her nails or bite her lip. She’s content; a feeling she had all but forgotten.

“You guys have a lot of friends.” Lincoln says.

Lucy turns her head back to Lincoln. Her tone has changed from curious to contemplative so Lucy tries for a joke,

“The power of a capella.”  
  


“Gross.”

Lucy laughs. It’s a full belly laugh and it makes Lincoln laugh too.

Beca, in a conversation with Stacie and Jessica, turns and looks at her sister. The same feeling from the night before comes over her and she feels, for just a moment like she could cry. That happy laugh and the relaxation on her sister’s face is all she’s wanted for the last seven months.

When she looks at Lincoln, she’s smiling too, but it’s not the same. It’s not as easy. Beca wonders, again, what she’s going through. She feels that same familiar tug at her heart that tells her they are more alike than she knows. She’s pulled back into her conversation when she’s asked about work and she decides these thoughts are best left for another time.

“Hi Scout, are you having fun?” Emily asks.

She leans against the island and pours herself a glass of wine.

  
“Not as much fun as they are.” Lucy says, pointing toward the rest of the Bellas.

The night has already turned a little wild; wilder than any other night Lucy has had since the accident. There’s wine and beer bottles lining the counter tops, tucked in among the food dishes, and discarded plates. As if on cue, the conversation grows increasingly louder.

“I’m not the one who set the curtain on fire our senior year.” Cynthia-Rose yells out across the room.

Emily lets out a boisterous laugh, “Oh my goodness, here we go.”

As she walks away, Lucy looks back over to Lincoln and rolls her eyes and shrugs. There’s a slight blush on her cheeks as the temperature in the room rises. Lincoln keeps her eyes trained on Lucy’s expression; she’s never seen her like this. She’s usually so much different. She almost always acts older than she is but right now she’s allowing herself to be a kid, cared for and surrounded by people who love her. It makes Lincoln’s heart feel full.

“You wanna go hang out in my room?” Lucy asks, after a particularly loud outburst from the rest of the room.

“Sure.”

* * *

Across the apartment, Chloe is showing Aubrey some of the decorating she’s gotten done. She realized soon after the party started that Aubrey hadn’t seen their new place; she wasn’t able to come before the release party. The only way she’s seen it has been over a grainy FaceTime call when they first moved in. She isn’t sure there was even any furniture in it yet.

“And this is the guest room. You sure you’re okay sharing the bed with Emily? I can always put Lucy in with us.”

Aubrey chuckles, “I think I can handle it. Besides, isn’t her friend staying over too?”

“Oh yeah,” Chloe says, looking like she might zone out, “I forgot.”

It isn’t like Chloe to forget details like that. Normally she has everything planned to a T. She has lists all over the place, and mental notes a mile long. She was always able to keep tabs on each of the Bellas better than they could on themselves. Aubrey was always astounded by Chloe’s mind; her ability to retain even the most menial of information. But lately, when they talk, it seems like she’s forgetting things. She seems flustered, maybe stretched too thin, and definitely tired.

“Are you okay?”

It isn’t the casual kind of conversation starting question. There’s a heft to Aubrey’s question that makes Chloe sit next to her on the bed, slump her shoulders, and shake her head, slowly.

“I don’t know.”

It’s truthful. Aubrey’s thankful for that. Most times getting Chloe to admit she’s anything less than happy is like pulling teeth.

“I, um, I mean, Beca and I were talking and we decided… I decided that I think I’m going to try going to therapy.”

“Oh. Wow, that’s…”

“I know.”

“No,” Aubrey says, once she has a firmer grasp on the situation, “I think that’s great.”

“You do?”

It’s no secret that Aubrey Posen is allergic to weakness; real, perceived, or otherwise.

“If it’s what you need right now then I think that’s what should be done.”

It isn’t the overwhelming bout of support that Chloe secretly hoped for but it’s enough to ease the tension in her shoulders.

“It’s just been so much, you know?”

“What has?”

Chloe scoffs, “Life. And I thought that my love for them would be enough but some days are just so…”

“No one can do it all. Do you remember the talk we had before I left Georgia?”

Chloe squints. She remembers it the way she remembers a dream. That whole month is surrounded by a foggy haze. She closes her eyes for a moment as if that will clear anything up but she has to admit that she doesn’t; not clearly enough to say she does.

“I told you I supported you in all of this, and that’s still true; as long as it’s still making you happy. But I will also support you if you’ve changed your mind.”

“What? No, that’s not what this is. This is what I wanted, you know? And finally, the hardest part is over, and things are calm, but I just, I don’t know. I should be happier than I am.”

“This sounds kind of familiar.” Aubrey says, choosing to keep eye contact, despite the fact that it’s getting harder every second.

“Aubrey, don’t.”

“I’m just saying-”

“I know exactly what you’re saying.”

Chloe is the first to break eye contact when she stands from the bed and paces, slowly, across the room. After a quiet moment, Aubrey stops Chloe by stepping in her path and placing her hands on her shoulders.

“I’m proud of you.”

Chloe lets out a shuddery breath and shakes her head.

“I thought I was a better person than this.”

“No one is a better person than you.”

Chloe scoffs and wipes under her eye where a single tear has managed to escape.

“I mean that. The amount you’ve taken on, and the stuff you’ve helped them through, that’s enough to bring anyone to their knees. So let us help you now. We’ll get you walking again. I promise.”

When they go back into the living room, Beca catches Chloe’s eye and furrows her brow, questioning the remnants of tears on her cheeks. Despite Chloe’s best efforts to cover any evidence of her crying, Beca can always tell. Chloe waves her off. They’ll talk later.

* * *

“So I did something bad.” Lucy says, as soon as they are in her bedroom.

Lincoln lifts an eyebrow as she hops onto the bed. She leans over and lifts Finch up when she sees him struggle to try and jump up too. She runs her fingers through his fur and waits for Lucy to elaborate. After another minute, she pulls something from under her sweater.

“I stole this.”

She holds up a beer bottle. Lincoln’s eyes widen and she shakes her head.

“Why?”

The hint of a nervous giggle cuts through her voice.

“I don’t know it was a panic move. It was just sitting there and I took it.”

Lincoln takes it from Lucy’s hands. It’s cold, with condensation dripping down the sides. She recognizes the label as one her mom drinks.

“Should we drink it?” Lucy asks.

“I don’t know. Won’t Beca and Chloe get mad?”

“They don’t have to know.”

“I don’t know. I will if you do I guess.”

Lincoln puts it down on the bed in between them. They both just stare at it; like if they look hard enough it was tell them what to do with it. Lucy flicks the top and says,

“I didn’t get a bottle opener so I guess that answers that question.”

“That isn’t a problem.”

Lincoln says, walking over, putting it to the side of the desk and slamming down; it pops open on the first try and she bends down to retrieve the cap.

“How do you know how to do that?”

“I’ve seen my mom do it a million times.”

Lucy, not for the first, or second, or even third time wonders what Lincoln’s home life is like. Of course, she knows the story of her dad, but little things she says here and there leave her wondering what her mom is like.

“It smells bad.” Lucy says, scrunching up her nose.

“Hey man, this was your idea not mine.”

“I didn’t say we should actually do it.”

“We can dump it if you want to.”

Lincoln says. She gestures to Lucy’s open bathroom door. Before she can think any more Lucy takes the bottle from Lincoln’s hand and takes a sip; a much larger sip than she intended. It’s bubbly, and cold and almost goes up her nose. She slaps her hands over her mouth to force herself to swallow it. She grimaces and shakes her head quickly back and forth.

“Yup, that’s disgusting.”

“Really?” Lincoln takes the bottle and brings it to her lips, the smell tells her everything she needs to know before she gets her first taste but she takes a sip anyway, in solidarity. She swallows, thickly, and nods in agreement, “Yeah that’s nasty. Why do grown ups think this is good?”

Lucy walks over to the bathroom sink and dumps the rest down the drain.

“I don’t know but I’m definitely never drinking that ever again.”

“Agreed.”

Once all of it is dumped and rinsed from the sink, Lucy sticks the empty bottle in the cabinet under the sink to dispose of later.

“To be fair, I don’t know why grown ups do most of the stuff they do.” Lucy says.

  
“Let’s never grow up.” Lincoln says, only half joking.

She knows full well that she wouldn’t if she didn’t have to. She’s seen the way being an adult can make you sad.

“Deal.”

“Shake on it.”

Lincoln extends her hand, as they both lay sideways on Lucy’s bed. Lucy clumsily reaches over and shakes Lincoln’s hand; letting her grip tighten, and linger, a little longer than she intended.

* * *

The next morning, Beca rolls over, barely able to open her eyes.

“Good morning.” Chloe says, still in bed herself, despite the fact that it’s much later than she normally wakes up.

“Ouch.” Beca says, holding her head.

“I know.”

“What the hell did we drink last night?”

“I don’t know.”

Despite the nausea, and the pounding headache, and overall shitty feeling, Chloe manages a laugh.

“I’m gonna kill Cynthia-Rose.”

“Not right now. I don’t have the spoons to clean up a murder scene.”

Beca nods and presses her forehead against Chloe’s bicep. After a quiet moment, after her stomach has settled just slightly, Beca asks,

“Did you have fun last night?”

“I did.” Chloe says, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. You deserve to know how loved you are. And no one loves bigger than those idiots.”

Tears prick at Chloe’s eyes. She’s always been emotional but lately she’s felt like she could fall apart at a single word or any passing thought. Beca looks up at her, her eyes still droopy and tired but her body is alert when she senses the change in Chloe’s demeanor.

“Chlo?”

“I’m okay.”

Chloe waves her off and tries to get out of the bed. Beca gently takes her hand in her own and keeps her in her spot.

“Talk to me, please.”

“Being a grown up is hard.”

Chloe gives a humorless laugh but Beca keeps her expression the same. She holds her breath because she doesn’t know what’s coming. She can’t seem to let it out, not until she knows what Chloe is thinking.

“I guess I just thought I would be in a different spot by now.”

This is a devastating blow. Beca’s heart rate quickens and her cheeks get hot, until Chloe rushes out her next sentence.

“Not with you. You’re perfect. And Lucy is perfect. I just mean in my mind. I don’t know if that makes sense. I just thought I would be able to pull myself together and be what I wanted to be by now. I mean, I’m almost thirty and I still have these thoughts like I’m fifteen.”

“Baby, anxiety and depression don’t discriminate by age.”

“I’m not depressed.”

It’s firm. These words hold a strength that Beca has only ever known Chloe to possess. But Beca’s reply is cautious. She uses her softest tone, bracing herself for another sharp reply when she says,

“I think you might be.”

“Do I look like a depressed person to you?”

Beca shrugs, “Can you tell me what a depressed person looks like?”

Chloe knows she’s being closed minded. She knows it’s not that simple.

“How long have you thought this about me?”

“This isn’t about what I think. I’m not a doctor. But can you honestly tell me you feel like the same version of yourself that existed a year ago?”

“What kind of argument is that, Beca? Look around, none of us are the same as we were a year ago.”

  
“I don’t want to argue.”

“Then you shouldn’t have said what you said.”

Chloe throws the blanket off of her legs and gets out of the bed, fighting her hardest against the tumbling of her stomach. Beca feels helpless as she watches her go into the bathroom and lock the door behind her. She lays her head back against her pillow and presses the heels of her hands into her temples.

A few minutes later, she hears the click of their door and looks up to see Lucy peeking her head inside. She looks sleepy, her hair is a mess. One pant leg is pushed up to her knee, the other hangs, baggy, covering her foot. This version of Lucy is one of Beca’s favorites. She’s the sweetest in the morning: patient and slow. She’s the most content, the most like all of Beca’s pre-accident memories of her, in the morning. It’s a nice reminder that not everything has had to change. That reminder has never been more welcomed than right now.

“Hi Scout.”

Lucy doesn’t answer. She just climbs into the bed. She rests her cheek on Beca’s shoulder and takes a deep breath.

“Where’s Lincoln?”

“Still asleep.”

“We really wore her out last night, huh? It got a little wilder than I thought it would.”

“That’s on you, dude.”

“How is it my fault?” Beca says, with feigned offense.

“You invited them all here.”

“Okay, yeah, that’s fair, I guess. But I want it on the record that I didn’t bring the booze.”

“You’re an accessory at the very least.”

Beca struggles to think of something, anything, else to say. She wants to keep the conversation going but her mind is stuck on Chloe; right behind the bathroom door. Their argument, if that’s what it should even be called, has been a long time coming. The stress on Chloe, and on their relationship, has finally come to it’s boiling point.

“Where’s Chloe?”

Beca opens her mouth to give one lie or another but before she’s able to Emily walks by the slightly open bedroom door. She stops. She backtracks and peeks her head inside, just like Lucy had done a moment before. She walks inside and leans against the door frame.

“What the hell was in those drinks last night?” Emily asks, bringing her thumb and forefinger up to the bridge of her nose.

“I can only assume a mixture of Redbull and rat poison.”

“I’m going to go out and grab some coffee. Maybe that will bring us back to life.”

“Only a miracle could save us at this point. But I’ll still take the coffee.” Beca says.

Slight grumpiness works it’s way back into her voice but she manages a smile when Lucy says,

“I’ll take an iced coffee.”

“Keep dreaming, kid. You’re short enough as it is without adding a caffeine addiction to the mix.”

Beca pokes her side which causes Lucy to wiggle and let out a little yelp. Emily watches their interaction. She still gets butterflies in her stomach when she thinks too hard about the fact that Beca is fully responsible for her now. She feels a little sick when she realizes how much Lucy has been through, how much she has changed since she’s known her.

“I’ll take some company for the walk though, if you’re offering.”

Lucy looks up to Beca for approval. She thought she would hate having to ask any time she wanted to go anywhere but it’s nice. She feels protected.

“Go for it.”

“If Lincoln wakes up-”

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell her you ran away and joined the circus.”

Lucy rolls her eyes, “Perfect.”

* * *

The cold air feels good on Lucy’s face this morning. The events of the past couple days sank in this morning when she rolled over in bed and Lincoln was there sound asleep. She hadn’t had much time to think about what Lincoln told her at the dance, or the conversation they had that night. In the harsher light of the overcast morning she found it hard to ignore.

“What’s on your mind?” Emily asks, slipping her hand into Lucy’s.

“Are you shrinking me?”

Emily laughs, “What? Now I can’t even ask what you’re thinking about without being accused of ulterior motive?”

“You’ve done it in the past. A lot.”

Emily pushes aside the thought that Lucy seems so much older than she did half a year ago. She looks older, and sounds older, and just has an air about her that is foreign to her. She doesn’t like that idea; that she’s done so much growing without her. It’s selfish, she’s well aware of that fact, but she decides she’s allowed to be selfish every once in a while.

“Well, I promise, I’m just curious. What’s going on with you?”

Lucy chews on her lower lip and lets her eyes flit around at the cars and the few other people walking around.

“I don’t know. The same old, I guess. I got an A on my last math test, which I don’t think has ever happened before.”

“That’s amazing, Scout. Good for you.”

“It’s all thanks to Lincoln. She’s been helping me out a ton with my algebra.”

“I wish I got to talk to her more. She seems like a good friend.”

“She’s awesome.”

It’s earnest. That’s Emily’s first thought. The second, is that Lucy has never had a friend her own age. She’s never spoken about anyone this way and it makes her thankful for this girl; whoever she may be.

“You two have gotten really close, huh?”

“I guess. Not like too close or anything.”

Emily scrunches up her nose and turns to look at Lucy.

“That sounded weird. But like, you know, she’s my first real friend.” Lucy adds, it doesn’t help Emily with her confusion. “So we hang out a lot.”

“Hey, as long as you’re happy and she’s nice that’s all that concerns me.”

Lucy shrugs, “She doesn’t, like, expect anything from me. She just wants to be my friend.”

Emily smiles and wraps an arm around her shoulder.

“It’s about time someone outside this family saw it.”

“Saw what?”

  
“How amazing you are. She’s lucky to have you.”

“I’m pretty lucky, too, I think.”

* * *

Beca manages to force herself up and out of bed after spending a little extra time waiting around for Chloe to come out of the bathroom. When half an hour has passed and she’s still not out, still banging things around inside, Beca decides space would be better for both of them.

“Good morning.”

Aubrey greets her from her spot at the island. She’s sitting reading a newspaper; Beca wonders where she even found it. She’s already dressed and ready for the day which suddenly makes Beca feels like garbage; more so than she already does.

“Hey,” Beca grumbles, as she takes the seat next to her, “how are you this chipper?”

“I didn’t drink the punch.”

“That damn punch. God, I feel like we’re back in college.”

Aubrey laughs. Beca closes her eyes and lets the sound settle in her tense shoulder muscles. She never, in a million years, ever thought she would find comfort in anything Aubrey would ever do. But somehow, over time, she found that she was being childish; she found that Aubrey had much more to offer her than she ever could have imagined.

“I kind of miss the Bella house.” Aubrey admits.

“Yeah, me too. Don’t get me wrong, I like having my own space but I think there’s something to be said about always having a friend around when you need one.”

“You have Chloe here. She was pretty much the only one you ever talked to anyway.”

“That’s not true.”

Aubrey gives an incredulous look and Beca scoffs.

“Okay, it’s kind of true.”

Beca’s expression turns stony. She’s still confused by the conversation they had this morning and a little rattled by Chloe’s reaction. Something in her features gives her away and Aubrey asks,

“What’s that look for?”

Beca’s shakes her head, slowly, “I’m just worried about her. I’m guessing she told you about the whole therapy thing?”

“She did.”

“You don’t think she should do it.”

“Of course I think she should do it.”

Beca is surprised, to say the least, by this reaction.

“You do?”

“This year has been more than anyone could have bargained for, and Chloe, she tries to be Superwoman. It’ll all come to a head, I’m surprised it hasn’t already. She’s going to need someone much more capable than you by her side when it does. No offense.”

“None taken. I suck.”

Aubrey sputters before risking a look at Beca. When she sees a smirk on her face she lets out a real laugh. They fall into a comfortable silence; afraid to talk any more and risk Chloe hearing. But there’s a question itching at the back of Beca’s brain and she just needs to ask,

“Aubrey?”

“Yeah?”

“She’ll be okay, right?”

“Definitely,” She says. It’s confident and sure, before she echoes herself, much quieter the second time, “definitely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come hang: www.lastchildofkrypton.tumblr.com
> 
> chapter title from The Barr Brothers, Even the Darkness Has Arms

**Author's Note:**

> come hang: www.lastchildofkrypton.tumblr.com
> 
> Story title is from The Secret Sisters' Hold You Dear


End file.
